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No lessons today... and so I spent a good half the time doing the rest of the marking and preparing for next week's lessons. Plagiarism aside, there has been some encouragement trickling in the form of students responding to the call for handing in original scripts and showing signs of learning and wanting to learn... staying for about half an hour after school to meet this student who requested for consultation time.

It's been rather cold in the office today temperature wise since it's been raining the entire day. Brrr. Wonder how er di's canoe finals and wu di's rowing semi finals went...

Dawn prayer this morning was unexplainable. I had to leave early for work... but for the time that's spent there, it's worth every moment of it.

I experienced a surge from within in the midst of worship. And the most unexplainable thing was how I kept welling up through Ps Kai's sharing while the rest were laughing along at some parts still. Was it because I totally identified with all that he'd shared? I don't know... but for all the unexplainables, I know it must have been the Holy Spirit.

And I am overwhlemed again by that overwhelming grace that He's been pouring day after day. To know that it is only by His Spirit that we may draw close to Himself, that we may live lives of worship.

It's kinda silly... but I looked into the mirror this morning when I woke up... and talked to myself... and I scolded myself... for all the shouldn't-be-there thoughts... thoughts that are stupid, silly, unnecessary, and if I may add, morbid... and definitely not God glorifying.

If only thorns can be easily plucked out.

But I really can't explain how overwhlemed I am by the grace that He's given... and no, it's not the emotionally overwhelmed kind of overwhelmed... (by the way I just found out from the psychometric test which I took in lesson two days ago that I am not exactly an emotionally driven person... contrary to popular self belief! Hahahaha...)

That He'll go so far for a person like me.

And I realised... that the healing process has actually started since day one, when He shone His light into my life. That the road of sanctification is exactly the path... that all else fades as we grow more and more into His likeness.

His grace doesn't come cheap. And for someone who's known the depths of his sinfulness, it makes His grace priceless. And perhaps it's also due to my personal low self esteem in the past (as is reflected in the test taken still) that I know for all that's been accomplished - the achievements, the blessings, the ministering, the relationships... there can only be One person who's done it in and through me.

For I am nothing.

And apart from Him I can do nothing.

And that's God esteem for you. Hur. :)

Okay. Digressed. I was meant to write an entry on the Christian Adolescent. So here goes. Haha.

Upon some reflection and reading, I do realise that Romans 12, just as any portion of the Bible, applies just as much to the adolescent going through his or her teenage years then any other age range.

The Christian adolescent is called to be different. To be in this world and yet not of this world. And yet because of the fact that we're in the world we tend to conform to the patterns of the world most of the time without even realising it. Being "holy" in turn becomes a detested and rejected concept, especially in the younger generation today.

Still, it boils down to just one very important deciding factor, and that is the personal relationship each youth has with his or her Creator. We will notice that those who profess a living relationship with a living God often take clearer stands in terms of morality issues and will try his or her utmost bests to maintain them, not for themselves but for God.

And unless God breaks in and administers His bountiful grace, those falling into this age gap will often end up very self centred and self absorbed... just take a look at one of my entries entitled "Me, Myself and I" written when I was seventeen (mr. ostrich please dig me a hole...). Hahaha...

I was searching around on the internet just hours ago... and found a blog belonging to a brother whom I know by face and name. He's the eldest son in the family... and going from the fact that he was from a pretty good school (okay understatement. Haha.) and all, I had a rather different impression of him, that is before I started reading.

I was reading... smiling... and shaking my head all at the same time. Hahaha... Then I realised that eh. Yeah. The writings of an adolescent... wouldn't really very much differ from that of another. I shook my head not of disapproval... but with a tinge of sadness to see how his journey's filled with all the things that could have been avoided if he's set his heart for God.

But I do know that He's sovereign. Perhaps just as what Ps Kai has mentioned this morning... that we have not be been brought to the lowliest of places to know that's where He knows that it's time for Him to deliver.

I'm sure this brother wouldn't mind an extra interceder... Hur hur.

I read in my textbook that in adolescence, youths take boy girl relationships very seriously and often also end up in very heart breaking breakups. The dreams of having a partner together for the rest of your lives, for a hand to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do us part... it's genuine... it's real.

Thing is. Breakups will not come as easy if relationships are centred upon Him I guess. But youths are youths la har... that's the way it is?

You satisfy me. I satisfy you. One day I realise someone satisfies me better... or perhaps you don't satisfy me as much as I thought you would anymore... or perhaps you found someone who can satisfy you better...

And no, we're not even talking about the physical.

He satisfies me. He satisfies you. He points me to you. He points you to me. Let's get together to satisfy Him.

It looks and sounds like dull and boring.

But those in the midst of such relationships can tell you oh how wrong you are. (Markudesu please nod your head harder. Yes! Harder!!!)

Hahahaha...

Then I look at my guys.

WAH. Either they've all been caught in His embrace and they've started even at such ages to live lives worthy of Him... or it'll means that I'll need to go buy popcorn and preview the movie "What Lies Beneath"!!

*LOL*

But really. I've learnt not to do as much already... and learn that He is sovereign. Shall just be a friend whom if they want to just be around to lend a listening ear... or one whom they can throw aside. Hahaha...

It has been shown (at least on this site) that long entries are often skipped... if you've actually read up to this point, give yourself a pat on your back... and perhaps leave a tag. Hur it rhymes!! :P