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First things first... my harddisk crashed on me the night before.

The irony is that the warranty for my laptop expired just 16 days ago.

Woots right. :)

But I think God prepared me for it somehow... the lesson the night before also touched upon the different pillars in life... and how the spirituality pillar together with the social pillar builds up the adversity quotient of a person. And so that reminded me of how faithful He is... that every part of the resilience that's being built up in me comes from Him... and so... the most that happened was:

Sms to sis: my harddisk crashed. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Her reply: Okay. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

Replaced the faulty disk with a new one... and hopefully I can still retrieve the files in the old one really soon... all my project files are inside. :|

Anyways.

It was a great time meeting some of the students again this morning... went back to pass them the developed class photos. I wouldn't have imagined that the day will ever come when I celebrate this day as a teacher... Haha. The words that one of the boys wrote in a card made me feel so appreciated. :P But really... I wouldn't have imagined that I'll receive anything... so anything that came was a surprise. Thanks guys! :)

Mrs. Seck's my upper secondary chemistry teacher... I remember that I never was really interested in chemistry... but somehow the way she taught and the way she dedicated herself to the profession caused me to study? Hahaha... glad to have caught up with her a little over the month I went back to relief teach... the only difference in her is that she has long long hair now. :P

Prepared a gift for her.. man, her table was constantly swarmped by students... and rightfully so lar. :) One class even went up to her and serenaded to her the song "Guan Huai Fang Shi"... which was really touching! Hahaha... and hopefully she didn't mind the teacher's day gift that's eight years late. Heh.

Yeah. Some teachers may seem to be less caring than others... but I do believe that the dedication to the profession lies in ensuring that the things to be taught are taught. The amount of time that teachers sacrifice to go beyond their usual working hours for their students... it takes one to be in the profession to understand I guess.

Hahaha...

Happy Teachers' Day!

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It's interesting how I came home to see such a message left on my tagboard... we actually talked about conflicts in lesson today.

To anonymous: I would have taken it to heart if you're someone I know and matters to me... and perhaps we can talk things through to see why you'll actually use this kind of words.

Not when you don't even reveal who you are.

The certificate portion of the course just ended... the diploma portion starts two weeks from now. Looking forward to every lesson. :)

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I didn't know that mom was to come home alone.

Mom commences her rehabilitation at Tembusu Rahab Centre today. I didn't accompany her down as I had to finish rushing quite an amount of work - dad and aunty Witwit accompanied her.

She's always been travelling by van on trolley - those collaspsible stretchers that the civil defence force uses... but she has to travel on wheelchair for her trips to the rehab centre.

I thought there would be someone looking after her in the van on the way back or something... but what I saw broke my heart.

Aunty Witwit gave me a call from downstairs and asked me to rush down.

I rushed to the vain only to find mom slidden halfway down her wheelchair.

God knows how long she's been in that position in the van with three other persons in wheelchair.

They have the ability to adjust themselves... mom doesn't.

It hurts to see your own mother helpless.

It really does.

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It's saddening that I can't tell you face to face that God loves you.

It's saddening that I don't know you well enough for you to trust me enough to explore the claims.

It's saddening to read of what's going on in your life and yet not being able to talk about it simply because we don't really know each other.

It's disheartening to visualise how life can be for you - joyous, victorious and filled with thanksgiving and yet not knowing how that can be achieved.

It's saddening to know that our paths may never meet again... that I've lost an opportunity to tell you about it.

And I can only hope that He'll reach out to you in His good timing... or you'll actually miraculously ask me about it, however impossible they may seem to be.

Praying for you.

And I'll learn to trust. :)

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Time has been spent rather fruitfully completing Wern and Lynn's wedding site in the morning... then I went on to work on another project till about lunch time.

The follow up session with jj is something that I always look forward to every monday afternoon... that apart from being encouraged by the commitment and the quiet enthusiasm he's been showing all the while, I get to learn new things about God as I go through the follow up materials... and that's what's so amazing. :)

I refer to a question someone posted on my tagboard... who's most probabaly one of the guys I taught:

Do you feel weird sometimes?

I didn't really know how to answer that properly... but now I guess I could. Firstly:

"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." - Ephesians 5:18

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." - Romans 7:14-25

For in the eyes of someone who hasn't decide to walk in his or her living relationship with God, certain things that I do or say may appear weird at times.

But the revelation came today after reading through the above passages again in the midst of follow up... Haha.

We all start off with our sinful natures. As we take the step of faith to believe in what God has done through His Son, He sends the Holy Spirit to be in us to teach us and guide us in our thoughts and actions. However, it always is a day to day constant battle between our sinful nature and the Holy Spirit in us, and it is left to our decision to ask that the Holy Spirit take control of our lives.

And of course, when those times happen, I may still feel a little weird sometimes, since it wasn't really me... but Him.

And all I can say is... if it's not for Him, I really don't know where I'll end up now with the sinful nature reigning in me all the time.

But now I don't feel weird that much often anymore... not when you've gotten a little bit more acquainted with Him after walking with Him the past couple of years. :)

Why do I sense people scratching their heads... Haha...

Went to the bus stop outside njc to pass someone my albums... then crossed over to take a bus home. Attires make all the difference I guess... quite a number of familiar looking people walked by without recognising me. Collared shirt and pants do differ from tshirt, berms and slippers I guess. LOL.

Reached the stop just in time to see yf board his bus home... then met the boy with the tennis racket and the boy with the reebok bag in the bus... but didn't call out to them - malu if I got the wrong persons... Haha.

And now it's back to all the projects! Woohoo! :P

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Click on the image above to access the site. :)

Looking forward to that day for you two dear couple! :)

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That I'm not going to wake up early to go to school anymore tomorrow.

Mixed feelings. Haha.

(What I'm going to do)

I'm going to do something I haven't done in a long time right after my shower... then I'm going to sleep, wake up early to do a jog (FINALLY) and then continue working on one of the unfinished projects... then meetup with jj for follow up in the afternoon then come back home again to work on the unfinished project...

Will try to sleep early and repeat the same jogging routine in the morning then continue with the work... Ho ho ho.

:P

Please pray for discipline.

And today shall be the last day I indulge in foods such as curry chicken and kfc.

(you know what...)

Till now I still feel inadequate as a leader.

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This is it.

My last ten minutes or so typing on this keyboard... sitting on this chair staring into this particular monitor in the staff room.

I've concluded my last lesson with Shannon just now... Had been quite a light hearted day with those at remedial, teaching them Photoshop skills and spending some time just to chat.

At the end of the day... it really depends on the students themselves whether or not they're motivated to learn. That's where the difference lies in child and adult learning yea... where in one the teacher spends the bulk of the time controlling the class and motivating students to learn whereas in the other the students swarmp you with questions and pay their utmost attention during classes.

Now I'm thinking if it would have been better if I were more strict. The batch of them will be continuing the subject right through next year's first term... and if they flop then... :|

Ah wells.

Am terribly drained cause I didn't sleep much... I have many projects due this week and I've not closed any one of them. So in a way, it is good for me to be ending my relief teaching stint today... and yet.

But I shall continue to trust. :)

Alright. Thank you all from 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, 1F, 1G and 1H of Hwa Chong Institution '06 for the short but meaningful times.

And thank You... for the opportunity.

Zai jian.

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There's this function in windows live messenger that allows you to change the nickname of the user... I used that for all the students who added me, changed their nicknames according to their class, index and names so I'll know whom I'm corresponding with at any one time.

Overtime... there're some whom I've reverted back to their own nicknames.

And I'm genuinely thankful to find mature young lads amongst this age group whom I can actually call friends... just like Desertorz! Haha...

Okay. Back to work!

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If I commit myself to starting a discovery class on Jesus and His claims, will anyone respond? It seems that most people are contented where they are, never questioning, never seeking, never asking...

Oh wells. Maybe I should just finish up all my design work and take a breather, start learning how to play Maple...

I can imagine many pairs of eyes lighting up right now.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA...

Off to class now... then it's back home for a through-the-night designing session.

That I may nod off in the bus. Please please please... Hahaha.

(God is good)

He always is yea... and always will be! Hahaha... Slept on the way to lesson and on the way back home! Woots! And to top it all off, we were taught relaxation exercises in class today! He is so thoughtful!!! :D

But now's the crunch time. Shall take a shower and start the engine. Shall see how much can be done in the next few hours. It's been so long since I've driven the night train!

(night train service discontinued)

Hahaha... Decided to sleep instead. Don't think I should shortchange the students by going to school with a mind that's already half switched off. Shall come home early to drive the afternoon train instead. :P

It's tempting to just install Maple and go in to take a look... but I shan't for now. One nil to discipline! Heh heh.

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I was in the computer lab conducting remedial when one bunch of secondary fours came in to use the computers... oblivious to the fact that I'm a teacher. Perhaps they thought that I'm a student clothed in outside clothes? Or a trainer from outside for the sabbatical week... I don't know.

They were fishing here, fishing there, fishing everywhere... chicken backside here, smelly backside there...

Funny?

I never remembered that the intensity's as such back then. And I wonder what gave the impression that it's okay to say such things.

With all due respect, having such words spew out from the mouth... it brings disservice to self, to the parents, to the school... to the nation.

But above all... oh well.

The pinch really came when I overheard one of them saying that he's watching Veggietales.

I choose to believe that those bunch I've come across through the past one month plus are a good bunch. And I can only hope that they be shielded from getting influenced with all the wrong stuff.

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
-Unknown-

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The peng san (exhausted) mode lasted the entire day starting from yesterday's afternoon... it's like your head's being compressed inwards and you constantly feel a slight tension headache.

Thankful for the time well spent having dinner with Char and her family... it's been so long since I've been to that particular eating place - my extended maternal family used to go there years ago for dinner celebrations.

Char's dad brought the fish that he caught to cook... and it turned out really yummy. And the crab bee hoon, the hei zou, the paper wrapped chicken, the kailan... buuuurp.

Haha.

I woke up this morning to a stark reality.

I've put on whatever I've lost in the past months.

I have not been running ever since I started the relief teaching one month plus ago... and I skipped the New Balance Real Run that I signed up for...

The Standard Chartered one comes in three months' time. I think I better buck up and start the running again.

For a moment this morning, I yearned for the shiokness (for no better word) you get after a run... and I seriously think that I was able to think better and feel perked up those days.

Well. I can sense those days coming back soon. Hahaha...

Came to office today to find Mr. Koh sitting at the desk. He's back!!! Hahaha... but I'll still be taking the remedial slots till this friday before I bid farewell.

He told me that there's a possibility of a need of me coming back again the same time next year. That'll possibly be eight more new secondary one classes then... asked if there's a possiblity of following up with this current batch... well, a pity that their lessons will be in the first term next year.

Haha... well. Shall see if they'll still recognize this face then. :)

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Hey SJ, if you're reading this, you'll need the DivX video codec to play the file. Just click on the link and follow the instructions to download yea? ;)

I'm pretty hard pressed lately... Dori's pretty hard pressed too. And as much as can be said, it really takes a design person to understand and relate to the stress that a design student undertakes. And it can be pretty gargantuan. Like she's just gone out to her friend's place... yea, at eleven plus at night. Their ideas were continually rejected... and for her to stay so sane it's really pretty much God's grace. Hahaha... proud of my sis. :)

Matt talked about resilience at the retreat... which resonated in my heart. This generation is not conditioned to fail. One little fall into the pit and it takes forever to come out.

Build up in resilience people... it's worth the pressing on.

Resilience 1. the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress 2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

(friend)

I was walking down the path towards the school gate when one student called out my name... my first name. Actually. Quite a number of them called out my first name today.

What is this.

Hahaha.

I pointed at him and asked him not to be rude.

Then he reverted... but added:

"Mr. Sng. Eh but I treat you as my friend what."

I wonder how much of it is genuine.

Cause if it is then I'm really touched.

But sometimes you really won't know. Haha...

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Haha... it's finally for real.

Last week in school, that is.

It's been an especially draining day... I was given two free periods today simply because one of the students had to do usher training for some event... otherwise my schedule would have been packed to the brim.

Spent that time to type out a proposal for my principal's perusal... not quite sure how things will turn out. But should he approves of it... I may eventually find myself coming back quite often... most probably not as a teacher though.

Yea. I'll open a gelato stall in the tuckshop. *LOL*

Please don't tell me you fell for that. PLEASE.

Haha...

(enough)

I heard Him say enough yesterday... and as I looked back in the past I realised that nothing made sense to me, not even when I was in junior college when my class representative brought me to her fellowship gatherings.

I'll just continue to learn to love as He's loved... care as He's given... and give as He's given.

Are the things here really that difficult to understand? Hahaha...

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HUI LAI LE!!!!!!! :D

Exciting times ahead.

Still, some questions loom.

Still, the heart calls out.

Still, I wonder when.

And I wonder if I'm just called to pray.

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My family of four (dad, mom, sis and myself) came to know Christ back in the year 2001. Life has its ups and downs... but it seems like our family received more of the down side through the years in the eyes of the world. Through it all, we desire to cling on to love, hope and faith... and it is with this intention that I'm writing this little piece of document, to let you, the reader, know that God is real and He is real in your life as well... and He's always there beckoning to reconcile you back to a relationship with Him.

I come from a rather typical average Singaporean Chinese family; my sister, Dorothy, is six years younger than me. It wasn't so much about sibling rivalry... but due to our vast difference in personalities, we were always at the opposite ends and would more often than not end up in unnecessary quarrels and fights. There was one particular incident I've always remembered... that I ended up throwing a toy at her and caused her lips to bleed. Haha... some memories just simply won't go away. :P

Both my parents worked. Perhaps it was due to the lack of communications... or the weariness of life... they would often end up in quarrels. The decibel levels at home get quite high often... mom would accuse dad of things and dad would get fed up and start to raise his voice sky high... familiar? Haha... I never really understood what a loving family means back then.

Personally, I had been conditioned to do well in my studies especially in primary school, which was why I ended up in one of the premier educational institutions in Singapore thereafter. I led a life of low self esteem over there, never really faring well for any of the subjects. It wasn't out of an interest for the subjects that I studied - I understood the importance of having a good education. Thankfully, I picked up some interest in web design back then... and actually walked away with an international award at the end of my secondary school life.

With all the achievements and accolades accrued under my belt, I thought that would give some meaning to my otherwise mundane life. But no... all I ever wanted is to live a happy life filled with close relationships with family and friends. Given my low self esteem and introvert nature, that really seemed like a distant dream. To complicate matters, it didn't help to have people putting really high hopes on me to achieve academically.

Then it came one night in the midst of my "A" level papers back in 2000 when I returned to find out that my sister was striken with leukemia... at the age of twelve.

Click to read about it (written in 2003)

It wasn't an easy journey... and not long after this wave subsided a bit, another came... and yet another - my grandmother passed away in 2005... and mom had brain hemorrhage due to a rare brain disease that caused her brain vessels to thin.

Click to read about it (written in 2005, pdf format)

I have many people telling me how they would have been totally devastated given such traumas happening in their lives. Some find it amazing that we never really did blame God for all that's been happening.

Well. We did have our moments of doubts... asking Him why such things would happen. But these are the verses we've come to cling on to:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

That He has already demonstrated His love for us by sending His only begotton Son on the Cross to die for all our misgivings.

I used to speak to my tiger soft toy when I was young (don't laugh). Somehow I've always believed that there's someone out there watching over me and hearing me out... and now that I knew, I'm glad that I've known.

For Jesus Himself says that it is only through Him that we're able to have a loving relationship with God. No other scripture or holy book in the world says that but the Bible.

Perhaps it's simpler for me as I was given the liberty to be a free thinker in the past... but know that each of us has an equal chance of knowing Christ. Nobody is born a Christian - it is a relationship which you embark upon when you arrive at your age of decision. Many things could have marred the "religion" so to speak, but if you are to take away everything, you will realize that Christianity is not about going to church, or committing to doing good... but it's all about this wonderful relationship with your very own Maker that you will only experience as you continue to grow in your faith... and it's something that no one else will be able to explain in detail for you... except for yourself.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." - Revelation 3:20

Will you open your door?

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Mummy,

Love,
son.

When your mom nags at you, be thankful... because you know she's still around, able and healthy.

"You can't go too far wrong with faith, hope and love." - Soo-Inn Tan

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Char asked me if I have been gloomy for the past few days... I asked her why. She said I hadn't been crappy. Haha...

Well.

My mind's been swirling with quite a number of thoughts these past few days... but as I set out to write this entry, I'm thankful that they've more or less settled down.

Now I know why I'm called to finish this counselling psychology pathway rather than consider teaching as a full time career.

As a counsellor or a psychologist, people come to you more often than not with an acknowledgement of their issue and their need for help... or they would have been forced to go for a session by their parents or superiors. Either way, there's something to work with and the purpose is clear - to help the counsellee help himself or herself overcome.

The main occupation of a teacher is still very much to teach. Sometimes the amount of workload a teacher has is so tremendous that it makes it hard for him or her to take that extra ounce of energy to dwell into the lives of their students... and especially so the ones having problems in their lives... who're more often than not the ones who'd shun away.

I bought and caught the latest television movie by Chen Liping called "Sorry, Teacher" a couple of days ago. Besides it being a super tearjerker, the show defines the role of a teacher beyond that of an educator... but a guide... and a surrogate parent all rolled into one, full of love and compassion.

And that is the problem when you try to help those who are ignorant of their problems or who're actively trying to run away from them by puffing themselves up with rebellious attitudes and behaviours... you get turned down... and you feel helpless.

But as the story goes in the movie... even if it's just one who's turned over, it'll be worth the while.

My only disappointment in the movie is that she died in the end (sorry for the spoiler). Good teachers don't have to die... if she would have pulled through in the end, I'm sure the students' lives would have been changed just the same.

Her role in the movie really reminded me of my secondary two chinese teacher He Zhong Liang lao shi... a stout man, he's always full of praises and encouragements for his students... mild tempered... an epitome of what he2 ai3 ke3 qin1 means.

He passed away two years ago due to nose cancer.

He stayed near me... but it never did cross my mind that I could have kept in touch with him even when I've left school.

Well...

Smsed my primary six form teacher the day before... she's now principal of a primary school in the eastern part of the island. Asking her out for a teacher's day dinner that has come so many years late... Haha.

Thankful for the guys whom I've managed to connect with in such a short span of time... frankly, it's almost impossible to establish any form of effective communication since I only meet each one of them in a classroom setting once per week. There were some who blocked me off completely... whom I really don't have that luxury of the full time capacity and authority to get to know them.

And there were those who've chosen to keep in touch... for whom I'm thankful. Had a good time chatting up with some of them online and knowing more about them as individuals rather than as a student in a classroom setting. I think some of them were rather surprised to find out that teachers are actually human beings as well... very much like themselves! For those who catch Naruto: I have a Kakashi coin bank in my room! Haha...

Those who know me know that I tend to personalise things... and I do get affected by other people's comments. But now it's all a matter of processing it through and lifting them up to God... and to see if I needed improvement in whatever areas.

Galvin is forever under construction until he sees His Maker face to face when the day comes. :)

Off to the canteen to grab a bite... then it's back to the desk to think of the songs for tomorrow night's session. The youth leaders' off to a planning retreat this weekend... hoping that it'll be a good time of rest for me as well.

This pensiveness ends with the posting of this entry.

:)

(alphabet poem by cindy blackamore)

Kaput-ed from gpp's website (:P):

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

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It seems just like yesterday when we're still playing chapteh in and outside the classroom... when the clock tower's under construction... when the computer labs were in the current secondary three block... when the computer block was non existant... when we learnt Qbasic instead of C++...

Haha... 11 years. That was how long ago when I was in secondary 1B. Quite surreal as I took the class photo with 1B'06 today. Then I looked back... I don't think we ever had class photos taken back then in secondary one 'cept for the black and white one in the year book. Oh well.

So this is it. One more week of school for me... got to take a few students for their remedial slots.... but effectively no more classes.

It's funny. But I think I'll miss teaching these guys... or rather, I think I'll miss the whole bunch of them.

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Students.

Give them a deadline, you get a rush of submissions just before the deadline.

To them it's just one assignment or project.

I just opened the message board and took a look.

I think I will d-i-e marking tomorrow. :|

(double whammy combo !!!)

Reached the table today and found a piece of note:

"Sec 1 Remedial Schedule - 21 Aug to 25 Aug"

!!!!!

Just when I thought next week will be relatively free when the rest of the students go off for their sabbaticals... now every single period's packed. Whoa... it has been four periods per day and a day without lessons... now it's five periods per day everyday for the next week! And it's from meeting a student four times over a month to meeting him everyday next week!

Hahaha...

I'm just wondering if I am to teach C++ every single lesson... those guys scored pretty well for that. *pluck hair pluck hair*

I'll need a wig soon. :P

But you know what? Hur hur hur...

(only those with telepathy knows what I'm thinking. LOL.)

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I left the house an hour before lesson commences... thought I would still be on time if I take the bus. And so I did.

Hur hur hur... the entire journey took more than an hour and a half.

Was so late that I decided to do a make up lesson in time to come instead... and so there I was in the middle of Shenton Way feeling lost for quite a while before I decided to walk towards the Esplanade.

Brought back some memories... the last time I walked that stretch of road I had just ended lessons not too long ago back in 2005. It was kind of a defining moment back then... was listening to this song called "Ready To Fly" by FFH... and was thinking that perhaps I was really ready... and who knows. So many things happened after that.

And there I was again just now. Played that song in the player and took in the breeze as I walked past... and for some moments everything stood still. How serene... :)

And for some moments I thought how cool it'll be for Char to be around to enjoy the breeze too... together with Pa. :)

Both the bus rides to and fro were fruitful nonetheless... spent time to think through stuffs...

It's not exactly an easy day.

Only by grace... His grace.

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I wonder if I'll ever be able to really keep in touch with anyone of them and to see them grow up.

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I was reading through gpp's entries when I came across one section he wrote on seeing his boys in his group grow up...

Then I thought of the people in WEB... my guys... the guys in Trailblazers...

And you get the picture of an overflowing of thanksgiving.

How the uninitiated grew to be the initiated... how some who only knew how to throw shoes and markers and pillows in the room grew to become those who're earnestly learning how to yield the sword of the Spirit. How some who didn't know how to love and give grew to do just that.

We're all sinners... saved by grace. We're called to a relationship first and foremost, one that everyone is capable of having, not to a life of slogging for merit, that everything we do then be an offering for what God has already done.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." - Revelation 3:20

And I finally understood why He put me through the stint... the age group in particular.

I have found my answer to a question asked by a brother some time ago. :)

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Role reversal continues on today.

First class today was surprisingly quiet and attentive.

And some did their work after the teaching portion ended.

And some stayed to arrange the chairs after lesson.

I know some of you read this site... got to say that I was really surprised by your class today. You're a bunch of cool guys... and I don't know, perhaps it was due to all the blog hoo haas that I got slightly more impression of the people in the class... though not entirely positive from the start, I really appreciate your genuineness. And hey. The class spirit's evident from the way you guys took the class shots... and though I know more or less that the background of the "yak" isn't exactly in the positive sense, can see that you guys kind of enjoyed it. Just hope you guys will learn to appreciate one another in time to come! Stay cool people!

The other class... *deep breath* oh well.

I did not say games are allowed in the lab.

And for this last lesson, I even sounded out for them not to do so and to do their work.

Most ended up playing... and most of their accounts got banned in the end.

Now I can start wondering if word will get around saying that Mr. Sng isn't strict enough. And then I'll not be surprised if I'm not called back to do relief teaching ever again.

Hahaha...

But still. Got to say they're a real fun bunch. And regardless I'm thankful to have interacted with each of them.

Four more classes.

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Had a little morning blue... result of marking an entire class of same but wrong answer scripts in two to three variations.

Hahaha... Please pray for me! A little demoralised after marking a whole bunch of wrong but same answers! Haha...

And then the reply came:

Haha don't personalise... kids will be kids. We shall be hopeful that He can change them! In His good time... and even the most rotten of them won't be able to escape His grace hur.

Hur! :P

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We eat the same food... and eat it the same way:

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work" - John 4:34

We wear the same clothing:

"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galations 3:26-28

"Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." -Colossians 3:11-13

We go to the same place of worship:

"Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." " - John 4:21-24

It's appalling that the religions of the world are very much anthropocentric and very much anti-spiritual. That many seek oneness in a faith through the tangible things in the world to wear, to have, to go to, to identify with... and a question begs to be answered.

For whose glory?

"Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"; and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile." So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God." - 1 Corinthians 3:18-23

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 5:3-10

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Before I went into this relief teaching stint a month ago, I faintly remembered someone telling me that students need a teacher that teaches... and friends don't exactly make the best of teachers.

I would have considered to have failed if they ended up learning nothing... and in this context, programming. It struck me really hard in my concluding lesson for one of the classes today when some whom I got a little bit more acquainted with ended up not being able to do the assignments still.

And then the class got all too rowdy that I had to do long pauses in between. Well. I think I really shouldn't place any kinds of expectations on any of the classes... and simply because I didn't come with any for the morning class, I was taken aback by their responses and attentiveness.

And haha... yea. I know I really shouldn't take students' comments to heart. But to be called slack after doing up so many extra presentations and summary notes and really getting down to marking every individual script... oh wells.

Yea I know. I just have to write that down right. Hahaha...

But man. The follow up session with this brother whom I met up in town after work was so fruitful... he's prayed to receive Jesus into his life!! The beginning of an exciting faith journey! :D

Heart stirred so hard as I recited the prayer while he prayed silently in his heart... not that he's any more special than anyone else, but his salvation brings special meaning... :)

I'll continue praying.... till the day comes.

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"Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer anyone." - Colossians 4:5,6

Imagine someone who writes that he's a Christian on his personal website or blog... and you look at the entries he leaves on it, filled with gossips, backstabbings, negative words... vulgarities. Raw thoughts you may say. Geunine nonetheless.

But that's not exactly wise... is it?

We talked about it again today in group time and in service.

To take a step further: What if we manage to hold our tongues and present ourselves well in front of others and yet have those thoughts swimming in our minds?

I realised that a lot of the messages spoken will only get through to those who've got an ongoing relationship with Jesus. And this is debatable... that whereas we are saved by grace through faith, not all professing Christians actually have a walking relationship with Christ.

And the scary thing is... if one focuses on being good or on building up his character "for God's glory" instead on focusing on building up his relationship with Christ, he is bound to journey the tough road.

Transformation comes through relationship.

And I said it's debatable... cause I believe that regardless of whether one chooses to walk or not, He's always there walking with us... working in us... through us.

That our conversations be always seasoned with salt... that what we say be distinct (salt has a very distinctive taste) and lasting (salt preserves).

Matt gave an acronymn to the word. It's super.

Selfless giving unto others.
Adventurous faith.
Live to testify.
Testify about Jesus.

Going to church religiously don't make you a disciple. Doing lots of good deeds don't save you.

It's one of those I do this and do that so I'll get that.

But it's really more of you've gotten that so that you're doing this and doing that.

Aiyoh. I hope this makes sense. Hahaha.