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Two nights in a row and it becomes detrimental.

Yesterday was quite funny. I was drafting out some plans on the computer when He got my heart excited by some vision He placed in my mind. Haha... it was around midnight. And you know, when you are generally excited over something you'll keep on thinking about it and it makes it hard for one to sleep... and that's exactly what happened.

There came a point I physically shook my head so hard in bed and asked Papa to let me sleep for the time being. :| Haha...

Then had a very long day. Very very long day.

Met up with one of the project groups in school very early in the morning. Managed to meet up with Char to take a bus together before I alight to switch to another one near the bukit timah area... it was my stop and I was still stoning. She realised it and gave me a jerk and noted "eh, your stop!". Then I blurily got jostled out of my stoning, stood up and walked down the bus.

Then I realised I didn't say a proper goodbye. O_o.

After the meeting, I took a very long time and travelled a very long distance up north and wandered around. Was supposed to meet some of my boys for lunch and then go for a swim with them in the afternoon... then it turned out that one of them had lao shai (please take care ah), one of them had gym training in school, another two missing in action... leaving the original one whom I originally wanted to have lunch with.

I originally had two plus hours to spare, wanted to catch Deathnote at the cinema... went up to the cinema and realised that it's closed (?!) Oh well. Had a rather fruitful time at the library doing some reading and writing instead... and spent the money on a hazelnut chocolate divine. Yeah. Diet. :P

Had a good lunch subsequently where we chatted and caught up basically. My heart gets filled with thanksgiving everytime I talk to them... to see how God's been so faithful. Really. It's something that I'll never imagine see come to pass few years ago, where they were simply a bunch of monkeys throwing shoes and pillows around. Sigh. Bad memories. LOL. There were sec ones then... sec ones... can you believe it? I can't imagine the boys of the same age I taught in school would do those things... Oh man. I shall keep my good impressions. HAHAHAHAHA...

Then I travelled to my usual before-lesson parking space and spent some more time reading and writing before meeting up with a really dear brother to catch up. Then lesson. I almost dozed off. :(

I thought I could catch some rest on the way home on the bus... but somehow I just couldn't get into the sleeping mode. Closed my eyes and had nothing in my mind but yet I stayed pretty wide awake.

That's why my mind's in the swirl right now.

Haha... shall take a nice cool shower and hit the sacks thereafter. Got to wake up to an early project meeting with another group.

(SMSes that mattered)

You know... sometimes you'll never know how much certain things you type or write actually means to the other party. These are some that I've kept in the "saved" portion of my phone... reading them never fails to bring back a smile on the face. :)

"Hey this may appear random and belated, but here's a great thank you for that bookmark. Really will treasure them. You've been a great elder bro to me =)"

"Hey galv! I feel great today.. (= thanks 4 listening to me yesterday yup. And nthing went wrong today! Yupp. Really really glad that God gve me the confidence to share wit u.. (= hve a blessed day!"

"Hello.. I think that god has actually helped me.. My saturday lessons was shifted to the morning.."

"Hey! I managed to finish everything and it's 3am! Haha.. Just need to go to sch and print smth then can hand in. It's God's grace I tell u :)"

:)

SHOWERTIME!!

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All the best to all taking the 'O' Levels!!!!

To all taking the Chinese and Higher Chinese papers tomorrow,

加油！

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I guess certain entries aren't meant to be long... and certain messages don't need long explanations to bring across. It's good that I get questions posted... it gives an avenue for questions to be answered I guess. :)

Here're some of the names, titles and descriptions of God used throughout the Bible:

• My Defender (Job 16:19)
  
• Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6)
  
• Comforter in sorrow (Jeremiah 8:18)
  
• My Strong Deliverer (Psalm 140:7)
  
• Our Father (Isaiah 64:8)
  
• A sure foundation (Isaiah 28:16)
  
• God Almighty (Genesis 17:1)
  
• Our Guide (Psalm 48:14)
  
• Our Help (Psalm 33:20)
  
• A Great High Priest (Hebrews 4:14)
  
• My Hope (Psalm 71:5)
  
• Righteous Judge (2 Timothy 4:8)
  
• Our Leader (2 Chronicles 13:12)
  
• Light of life (John 8:12)
  
• Prince of peace (Isaiah 9:6)
  
• Refuge and Strength (Psalm 46:1)
  
• My Savior (Psalm 42:5)
  
• Sovereign Lord (Luke 2:29)
  
• My Support (2 Samuel 22:19)
  
• My Confidence (Psalm 71:5)
  
• Faithful and true (Revelation 19:11)
  
• My Friend (Job 16:20)
  
• Good Teacher (Mark 10:17)
  
• My Salvation (Exodus 15:2)
  
• The Good Shepherd (John 10:11)
  

Jesus shocked the Jews back then when He used the term "Abba" to relate to God the Father:

Abba = "father"

1) father, customary title used of God in prayer. Whenever it occurs in the New Testament it has the Greek interpretation joined to it, that is apparently to be explained by the fact that the Chaldee "ABBA" through frequent use in prayer, gradually acquired the nature of a most sacred proper name, to which the Greek speaking Jews added the name from their own tongue.

It's a rarity for this generation to experience the fullness of a fatherly love. Sometimes I wonder if the term "absent father" is something that's been coined not too long ago... or if previous generations experience that... but it seems that it's pretty prevalent in the current one.

For some, fathers are physically absent... for some, they're physically present but are very much absent.

The past five years of involvement with youths tell me that fathers play very pivotal roles in their lives (mothers do too, in different aspects).

For those of you who have a loving and doting father who tries his best to be around for you apart from providing for you, know that you are really, very, blessed.

Even if there are times when he has to discipline, know that he does so because he cares enough.

But I've also seen the power of our Heavenly Father who fills the void in the heart... and how He empowers those who lack that fatherly love to understand who He is.

This entry may seem really abrupt and incoherent... but I'll just say I'll keep on praying... that one day you will understand the Father's love for you.

I wanted to return home right after dinner with the guys after youth service... but I thought it'll be nice to see them play soccer for a while.

And so I popped by the field... a bunch of boys having a fun game of soccer after dinner, boys from different backgrounds, different schools, different personalities... all touched by the love of the Father. :)

And I wonder if I'll ever see them play in the same field.

At this point of time, I think no one understands my heart better than my Father.

This entry took more than three hours to write... because I really don't know how to write it. Perhaps it's because of the stifled condition of my heart I guess.

I teared in service.

I thought of them.

If only I can leave a stain on this entry.

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That I have the opportunity to see a class through for at least a year.

Haha... anyways.

Met up with Alex for lunch in the afternoon. Got to know him a little bit more through the time spent together and realised that he's quite a sensible boy for his age. ;)

1A had their end of year BBQ in the evening today. It's great meeting them up again after some time... and of course, it was a privilege too to be invited for it.

There are many things that I actually want to write about... but somehow I just couldn't quite articulate them at this very moment. But the two months spent relief teaching has really opened my eyes to know that teaching isn't all about dishing out contents to your wards. And it's more stark in my case since I was asked to relief teach a subject that isn't exactly popular and easy amongst the students.

Thankful for those whom I've gotten to know better. :)

It's interesting to see how the guys worked it out in terms of organising the BBQ... but yeah, it ended pretty okay. This is the first time I had a barbeque without chicken wings and pork chops and sweet potatoes though. Hahaha...

Had a good chat with Ms. Cai, their form teacher... and yeah. If any of you guys happen to pop by, be thankful that you've got such a form teacher who cares enough to hold the class together. :)

And to those who helped organised it, I'm sure the effort didn't go to waste. :)

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A couple of days ago I came across the "prologue" section of Josh McDowell's book entitled "More Evidence That Demands A Verdict". This book basically documents the research that the author has personally done (previously an atheist), that how in the attempt to prove the falsity of the claims of Christ, he himself turned a believer.

His prologue section is entitled "He Changed My Life", in which the author writes about his journey in becoming a Christian.

Frankly... I think majority of the people don't exactly have very exciting "conversion" experiences.

I didn't. :P

It was very much a cognitive response back then (five years ago) to believe in my mind how God has a wonderful plan for each of us and how we are born to have that intimate relationship with Him... how because of sin our relationship was severed... and how God loves us so much He provided His own Son as the sacrificial lamb... and how we can be reconciled back to Him simply by faith.

I don't really know why I didn't question that much. Perhaps that's why faith was my number one gift out of the spiritual gifting test that I first took back then... and it's remained consistent over the years.

Change doesn't come overnight. But if I may cast an evaluation over the past five years of my life, I can name this entry as that... and aptly so.

I used to be quite a people person as a primary school student, being a monitor in lower primary and subsequently a head prefect in my upper primary school days. I can still remember how I was often the rowdiest in the midst of group tuition and how I got myself involved in activities and such...

That somehow changed as I grew... and now that I've reflected on it (actually I've been reflecting upon it for a long time), I think I know the reason for the change... but yeah. That's personal. :)

I grew into a really quiet and withdrawn person in secondary school and subsequently junior college. I would try to make myself obscure and always held reservations when it came to talking to people... giving presentations in front of a huge group was equivalent to asking me to commit suicide. (hur hur hur) And yeah. I became pretty sensitive and would often be aware of how I'm being looked upon by others.

But I guess the best part of me knowing Him as my Lord and Savior was His timing. I wouldn't have known then... but I was really at a defining and pivotal transition period into the army when He found me.

I can't imagine going through that period of time without Him... or rather, without knowing Him.

My lifestyle would have been totally different now if things didn't happen the way it is. Sometimes I wish I can muster up enough courage to share things that are more personal... but well. Perhaps in the future... but for now, let's just say that things will be entirely different with Him out of the picture.

And it's been an amazing five years... and I'll look forward to many more to come... till He calls me home.

Sometimes I wonder if there're people out there who'll actually like to know God but they're generally inapt of expressing that desire... well. If you happen to be one, allow me to let you know that He's ever there waiting for you to experience Him. There may be many myths clouding the road (that Christianity is an ang moh (english) religion, that I have to disown and dishonor my parents, that I have to go to church)... but simply put.

God loves you.

And He just hopes that you'll return to that intimate and real relationship with Him.

By faith.

And it is left for you to grow and experience the realness of Him working in your life after that... if you so desire.

And there's nothing more than saying a heartfelt prayer to ask Jesus into your life. No formula... no prerequisites after you've taken the step of faith to pray.

Even if your heart says otherwise but you cognitively says yes, I believe and I want Jesus in my heart, He'll take that and slowly work His way into your heart as long as it's your desire to know Him.

I've never done this on my site here before... but if you've come to a point where you'll like to receive this life changing relationship and yet not knowing if you can fully trust, allow me to provide a prayer in which you can say to Him. Don't pray religiously... pray as though to your bestest friend:

Jesus, I have heard of you here and there as I grew up... but I never really gave a thought of acknowledging the things that you've done are for me. This day I come before you... and though there may be doubts in my heart still, I am willing to take this step of faith to ask of you to come into my life and reveal yourself to me as I get to know you better in time to come.

Thank you for what you have done on the cross for all my sins, big and small. I invite you to enter into my life as both my Savior and my Lord... and I ask that you will show me more of you in time to come. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

And know that all heavens are rejoicing over one that was lost but is found.

Even if you're the only one.

:)

Tell a Christian you know if you've prayed to receive Jesus into your life... do drop me an email to let me know of this joyous piece of news as well... and if you don't mind, I definitely won't mind sharing with you more of the things you can do next. :)

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Who am I?

Where did I come from?

Why am I here?

Where am I going?

If you're reading this and if you've never really pondered about these before, why not spend a little time on them?

Had project meetings with two groups of guys in school today... the first group was reticent most of the time... I guess they weren't very much interested... or perhaps they must have found me condescending somehow. Hopefully their response will be livelier the next time I see them. Haha... then the other group was polar opposite... talked and laughed so much. And that chou chou YF... imagine a bunch of boys meeting you after playing table tennis with the drying sweat smell. But yeah... I did overexagerated it a bit... was trying to pull his leg. Hope to see the team get down to doing their research soon.

I played a getting-to-know-you game with all the groups under my coaching... and there's this question about phobias which was posted for me to answer. Some of them were quite surprised that I chose the fear of crowds... and one of them inferred that if I fear crowds then I would have feared teaching in front of them.

Which is true.

And in fact, even in smaller groups, there's still this tinge of uneasiness inside of me.

I didn't realise it till now... but for all that I'm called to do, I can hear the gentle whisper... that it's worth it.

And I get none of the glory... because it's He who's constantly on the go of helping me overcome for His purposes.

I am one of God's children, as you are.

I was fearfully and wonderfully made from my mother's womb, conceived by Him since the beginning of time.

I am here to live out His purposes in the midst of growing in a moment by moment relationship with Him.

My destiny is sealed in this eternal relationship, where passing on leads me to heaven, the other side of eternity which had already begun since I believed and trusted Jesus as my Savior and Lord.

Psalm 139: 1-4, 11-14, 23-24

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

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We have been talking about planning an outing ever since four to five months back... but we soon found out that it was really hard for our free timeslots to coincide... but yeah. Finally. :)

It was quite an amusing sight a couple of weeks ago when I was corresponding with both 3sa and sMonSter in windows messenger... in separate windows. In one we were discussing the surprise lunch that the guys were to prepare for the gals... and in the other we were discussing the surprise birthday dinner 3sa's planning for sMonSter. So there sMonSter was telling about not letting the gals know... and on the other we were planning how to lure him to a suitable dinner place where many more people would be present to give him a surprise.

It's a privilege to be part of two surprises knowing that both would be surprised that day. Haha...

Oh. It happened... today. :P

The guys met up to get the ingredients for the surprise lunch in the morning and then we proceeded to Markudesu's abode for the preparation. Markudesu prepared the pasta, sMonSter did the salad and I tried to make sandwiches. Haha. Thankful it turned out alright! Wholemeal pita stuffed with fried bacon, honey glazed chicken shreds, vine tomatoes, salad lettuce and a thin slice of philadelphia cheese toasted for a couple of minutes... not bad lar. Not chao da (burnt). :P

And so it was a good lunch at Sentosa. It was a great time just hanging around... walking about... then we settled outside a Coffee Bean stall at the tram station and played a few rounds of "Settlers of Catan". I've heard of this game quite some time back but never really got to play it... nice game!! If I ever get to purchase any board or card games... Settlers should be one of the first I'll get. Haha...

Then we walked around... took some photos... then decided to be silly a bit and took some silly photos... Haha. Then we walked some more till we reached time to proceed according to the birthday surprise plan. The queue for the bus out of Sentosa was tremendously long... so we ended up walking to Vivo City.

It kind of reminded me of KLCC in terms of the use of space. Anyways.

We "decided" to eat japanese food "in the end" and "found" Akashi at the basement. Hur hur. sMonSter went in and asked for a table for six... then he started seeing familiar people within his line of sight. Hahaha...

CHENG GONG! (Success!) :P

Haha... yep.

Really thankful for today.

Markudesu and sMonSter are two brothers I never had. Above and beyond the company as friends, their passion for God and for youths often served as wonderful encouragement and nourishment for me over the years, to know that we're never alone in this journey... to know that we'll all be around, especially in times of need. And it's still rather amazing how we kind of got attached at around the same time... Hehe. :P

Really appreciated the time walking Char home after everything ended. There were some thoughts overhanging... but thankful that she was there to just lend a listening ear.

Getting into a relationship really isn't easy... and I'm just thankful for where He's gotten us thus far. There are real issues to tackle, the future to think about... to know that the scope of this relationship actually extends beyond just the two of us but it emcompasses practically the people around us.

For the very first time in a very long time... I feared for the future. It's not that I'm not trusting God enough... for He's never failed looking at track record. But somehow there really are many uncertainties that lie ahead... responsibilities to undertake... burdens to shoulder... some seemingly too huge for me to take.

But there's comfort in all that He's revealing to me recently... and going through the "Experiencing God" material with Jj and the dg every week proved to be really fruitful personally.

"You never know the truth of any situation until you have heard from Jesus..."

"... Can you trust Him with the other half of the story?"

The other half that has yet to be revealed. The other half that has yet to come to pass.

I wrote down on a piece of blank page on my written journal the list of spiritual milestones in my life dating all the way back to 2001 when I prayed to receive Jesus in my heart... and all I can see is His faithfulness through all the highs and lows of my life.

And now I realise that trusting can still be a very difficult thing to do... especially when the future's clouded with uncertainties.

But I have learnt too... that trust is a decision.

And I've decided... but I also know that this decision has to be renewed moment by moment, day by day... that He will empower me every step of the way.

Haha... apologies that I totally veered off. :P

Yep.

:)

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Went for my worldview interview today in school. Ended up having a nice chit-chat with the interviewer... Heh. She commented in the end... that Christians have something to offer that the rest of the world doesn't.

God's grace and love... you can have it too. :)

MY WORLDVIEW

As a born again Christian, I find my worldview largely guided by what the Holy Spirit reveals to me through the Holy Bible, church teachings, prayer and circumstances in general, but mostly through what God impresses upon me in His Word. However, I acknowledge that as a fallible human being, I have also retained much of my life's experiences in the past to contribute to the worldview that I now hold on to.

Relationships

I believe that relationships are the most important and valuable assets anyone can have in this world. There is no distinction here between the believer and the non-believer – we are all born into this world with default relationships with our parents. Some may have been born and abandoned by their parents, but that does not negate the fact of the default relationship between parent and child, except that in these cases the parents have chosen to severe it.

I believe that the most important relationship that one can have that stems out to all other relationships is the very relationship between God and man. It is the nurturing of this relationship that affects the way a person relates to others around him or her. As infants, we all grow up under the tutelage of our parents in the ways we relate. As we grow older, we find ourselves exposed to many forms of influences – peers, teachers, media, seniors, etc, these relationships that we form along the way and the way we interact with them contribute to how we react and respond to situations as relational beings.

God's Word exhorts us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and mind, and to love our neighbours as ourselves. I believe that it is through this living and loving relationship with God that each of us is capable of having that we are able to find ourselves transformed, not of our own ability, to love others just as how He loves each of us.

Relationships are volatile to many and that is why we hear of terms such as broken friendships, broken boy-girl relationships, broken families, failed marriages and so on. If we are to focus our energies primarily on building our relationship with our Maker, we will find that it will become evident in the way we relate to the people around us.

Simply put, the way we relate to God reflects the way we relate to others, and vice versa.

Also, having God as the centre of our focus removes for us external motivations in the building of relationships, which the world is very prone to. We forge ties with certain people for the benefits they may bring into our lives, be it in the office, the marketplace or in boy-girl relationships. With God in the centre of the picture, we know that our needs are fulfilled in Him, and that people are brought together for a purpose greater than themselves.

Having written as such, I believe that relationships are vital and pivotal to life. As with John Donne's oft-quoted statement that "No man is an island, entire of itself", it will be detrimental for one to live his or her entire life in isolation apart from God and man.

Finance

I come from a below average income family. Throughout my childhood and into my adolescence, both my parents had to work in order to support the family's expenditures. My father used to work as an engineering technician and my mother worked as a kindergarten teacher turned supervisor (in the later years).

I did not really have the habit of saving up when I was still in pre-tertiary education – the allowances given to me were just enough to scrape through most of the days back then. I am thankful that even as a child, I did not covet branded goods or long to buy things that were beyond my means or my parents' means.

The very first time I became conscious of my finances (and my family's) was when my younger sister was diagnosed with leukemia six years ago in 2000. It was then, as a youth in my late teens, that I realized the importance of financial planning and saving.

The medical expenses were hard to bear and caused a tight strain on our family's finances, but we were thankful for all the subsidies given, as well as the contributions given to us by others. It was a time where we really had to trust God for His providence.

Three years down the road, the division of the factory where my dad worked at closed down and he subsequently lost his job. In retrospect, I am thankful for my dad for being so strong in the midst of such adversities and for placing such trust in God. He subsequently applied to work in the church and is currently still working there as a building and facilities assistant.

Two years later in 2005, my mom suffered a brain hemorrhage due to a rare brain disease. Apart from all the emotional baggage, we had to deal with all the different kinds of fees to repay the hospital. Once again, we were thankful for all the subsidies and contributions given unto us, thankful for the grace that's so evidently shown.

My mom is currently bedridden, paralyzed on one side. Coupled with the fact that my dad's a diabetic, I know that I will one day become the sole breadwinner for the family… and all the more I should spend wisely and only if needed.

Sometimes I wonder if my current view on finances are forged and molded according to life's experiences... if I would have thought differently if I am to be born with a silver spoon and live an affluent life. However, as I learn to walk in God's ways, I realized that whether one is rich or poor, we are but stewards of the monies given us.

For now, I know for sure that I will make it a point to save each month and spend on what's needed to be spent – on the necessities and not on the luxuries. Above all, it will always be an ongoing lesson of learning to trust God in everything, finances included.

Divorce

"According to God's holy ordinance, I pledge thee my faith that I... take thee... to be my husband/wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, from this day forward in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

I believe that marriage is the point where two parties make a commitment to spend the rest of their lives on earth together as husband and wife, until one of them passes on. A divorce simply means a breaking of that commitment. Be it a secular or a religious marriage, it ultimately rests upon each partner's commitment whether or not the marriage will work out till the end.

Personally, I see marriage as a sacred commitment not just between husband and wife, but also that with God. True to say, there is no guarantee that any marriage will last for as long as it should, but as with the worldview on relationships in general, if our centre of focus is on God, He will naturally be our mediator in times of differences and conflicts.

The reasons for marriages ending up in divorces usually include the following: that one party becomes unfaithful to the other, that both parties no longer share the same love for each other, that each party sees that he or she has nothing else in common with the other half anymore, that their personalities clash so much that they end up in fights and quarrels most of the time.

To sum that all up, divorces occur because couples enter into marriages expecting to remain as their individual selves, trying to work out their marriages from that premise. Little do they understand that marriage is the point where they have to learn how to live as "two become one", as a single unit.

I have not married and definitely not divorced. I have just gotten into a relationship not too long ago and I am learning to appreciate how important it is to place God before us. We establish our relationship on the premise and the promise to know that God has to be in the centre of it, that we have to slowly learn to arrive at decisions and views we both can mutually agree upon.

Suicides

Meaninglessness… a sudden loss of purpose in life… these are the things I think about when it comes to the reasons people may have when they attempt or commit suicides. Suicidal thoughts may come when a person loses things important in his or her live and subsequently gets stressed and then depressed over it. For a person to have attempted or committed suicide, I will choose to think that he or she has gone through an extended period of immense and uncopable stress and depression before contemplating and finally deciding to do so.

I believe that it is important for each individual to know what they are anchoring their lives upon and, as there is no right or wrong to the things and people that one can anchor upon, so as to prepare them for situations where they may experience loss in these things or people. For example, students in Singapore nowadays tend to place their worth on their academic results; this may be due to their own personal drives, but I am not discounting the fact that some may have been conditioned to think so by their parents. As such, it is important that messages be put across to them to assure them that their self worth is not in how good they can score in their exams or perform in their co curricular activities.

However, I do believe that it usually takes more than one factor for one to arrive at the decision to attempt or commit suicide. I believe that more often than not a person arrives at that decision because the individual perceives that he or she has come to a dead end of sorts and is unable to see beyond that.

I think of the recent case of the boy who walked out of class halfway and took a train elsewhere and jumped to his death. On first thought, it will be simple to simply attribute the suicide to the immense study stress that perhaps became uncopable for him. Then I found out that on top of his studies, he might have been distressed over the fact that he was denied of participating in a co-curricular activity in which he was actively involved in in his previous school due to his studies. Then I realized that he would have been able to get out of it if he had a family whom he can communicate with or if he had a circle of friends whom he could pour out his grievances with.

As a believer and follower of Christ, I believe in an eternity with God that has already started as I took the step of faith to believe. Through the many ups and downs in my life and my family's live thus far, I have really seen the importance of knowing the purpose of living this life, that "to live is Christ, and to die is gain", and that I will continue living on this side of eternity till He calls me home. I know that my worth is in Him alone… and having come from a background where I tend to place my worth in human relationships in the past, I am thankful for He has led me thus far.

Violence

Violence seems to be the basic reactive instinct that is intrinsic in human beings. However, it seems to me as well that it is one that is nurtured within a person throughout the individual's growth stages in life. Babies do not react or retaliate with violence when they are in pain or in provocation but somehow as toddlers they seem to pick up the idea of retaliation out of nowhere. They instinctively know what it means to react by force to get what they want and if such behavior isn't arrested from young, the individual may grow up a violent person.

Personally to me, violence is never justified and it should not be used as a means to an end. Firstly, violent behavior is a very rash and selfish act in which the violent person thinks nothing but about himself or herself and totally neglects the implications and the repercussions the act may bring to the other party or parties involved. I choose to see this as an animal instinct in which the person is oblivious to the consequences that come along with the act.

Having understood a little bit more of what grace really means as demonstrated on the cross of Calvary, I believe that grace is what we are called to dispense, knowing that it is something given that is underserved. As a Christian, I understand that not everyone in the world will be able to see this as an approach with regards to dealing with situation since the concept of grace can be quite unknown and unheard of outside the church, because it can be quite ridiculous to give the other side of the face when you're slapped in the other when one does not understand the underlying power of grace and the example that God Himself has set for us.

Family Structure

A core family unit (nucleus) consists of the father, the mother and the child/children with relatives forming the extension of the structure. I personally feel that there shouldn't be too fine a distinction with regards to the responsibilities either of the spouses hold in the structure but biblically, I will still think that the husband should take the role of head of the household, just as Eve was created by God to be a helper to Adam.

Parents play the most pivotal role in their children's upbringing. I believe that it is of utmost importance that parents place spending time with their children (besides spending time with themselves) as one of their top priorities, especially in their children's formative years. Contrary to traditional Chinese thought, the idea of financial providence as a measure of love alone seems to be failing in the world today. I believe that, just as in any other relationships, time is the best investment one can give to another. In spending this time, children will be able to get to know who their parents are on the inside as they grow up and through this time of nurturing be molded into responsible people in the future.

There will come a time for a shift in responsibilities when the child transits into adulthood and slowly gains financial independence. I do not see it is an obligation, but children should take responsibility in looking after their parents as they grow old enough to start a family on their own.

Relatives form the base of support for the family structure. My family has personally experienced this at work through my sister's leukemia condition and more recently my mom's brain hemorrhage. It would have been very different without the support rendered by our relatives in such times like these.

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Hahaha... I'm in the state where I can tangibly feel the presence of the bulge round my tummy once again... which is... bad.

Hopefully the next time I revisit this entry years down the road, I can happily note that these bulges are things of the past. Hahahaha...

Anyways.

This entry isn't about my bulge. Hahahaha...

I was just reminiscing a little as I was walking home from today's discipling session in church... and yeah. "What can I do but thank You..." :)

It's been a wonderful three years... close to four years being with these guys. Some people came and went... some people stayed throughout... some came at a later time but looked set to stay for good.

What encourages me the most is the commitment that some of them have been showing. Boys who love God and show that they love God are the rarest of rarest bunch... can't be any more blatant than that I guess. Hur hur. Why? Because it's totally not the "in" thing, totally "uncool", totally "boring", totally contrary and against the culture that's running amongst teenagers in schools nowadays.

But for all that He is and how they've individually tasted of how a living relationship with Him is like, I guess it's a decision they've made to know that nothing in this world compares... and that it's worth it. Because they know how cool and how happening He is. :P

And it'll be my prayer that many more will one day find that it's worth it... to have their personal identity found in Jesus Christ.

Want to know Jesus personally but don't really understand? Drop me a mail! :)

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Just want to remember this morning by posting an entry.

There's this ding dong security alarm that kept going off in the house. I never knew it existed... so yea. Imagine the super high pitch alarm sound that refused to stop.

I tried to cover the alarm part with my hands to muffle the sound... used scissors to cut off the wires (!!)... but still it went on and on.

And the battery leaked.

Needless to say, it woke everyone else in the family up lar. Hahahaha....

I contemplated drowning the thing in a bucket of water.

But dad's the hero... he systematically unscrewed the thing and disarmed it.

And now it's in the ground level chute! Hahahaha...

What a saturday morning. :P

(Thankful)

It occured to me that the scene I saw in the midst of the youth service this evening was exactly one that I'd hoped to see some years ago.

It was a precious moment to see them bunching up in small groups to pray.

And yet at the same time, I have come to grips with my fears.

To know that nothing is permanent... to know that whoever's on fire for God now may one day disappear. To know that things will not work out if we bang it on human relationships and church activities.

And on the other hand, it's a matter of faith to believe that those who do not know will one day grow.

Pray. Point them to Jesus.

If you genuinely love the people around you, perhaps you can consider doing that... in that order.

Because no human being is able to provide a clear picture of Himself except Him Himself. That's one thing I fear... that people never had a chance to experience Him simply because us humans have presented a distorted picture of who He is... through the things we say and do - the external manifestations, that is.

Yep.

But yea. Seeing the guys working together to stack up the chairs and placing them back before and after service... seeing them seriously discussing the questions, responding towards the end of the service... I really pray that it's His will to continually keep them close to Himself.

And that I can be secure in His love personally to know that everything's in His hands.

:)

And even though much crap abounded over the dinner table today, I'm very much thankful... cause I've never recalled a night where we have so many people staying back for dinner and filling up an entire row at the foodcourt.

And yah. It's a joy to see people getting comfy with other people in the group. Introverts and extroverts... quiet and noisy... mixing around in this manner. Amazing. :)

It's a pleasure and privilege serving you guys.

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I was reading through some blogs of my students and came across an entry which resembled very much one which I wrote seven years back... I had to write subtly back then...

"I knew it would come, it's a matter of time. They never got along well, and they both admitted how they regretted the very day they tied the knot. One's so emotionally unstable, overly suspicious and insensitive, while the other so fierce, so... oh well. Okay, so that's it. BOOM. One big blow to me. I really don't know. They left me feeling so disgusted, so terrible, especially the female lead. It's not a matter of personal dilemma. If I'm given a choice to choose, I'll choose both or neither. I'm at a lost of words. Man shed no tears. Does he? Hah... here's a catch... I didn't shed any. I shall wait for that day.

I'll keep this entry short."

- dated June 1999
(pre believing days)

Quarrels used to be the norm... distrust... self absorbed... self centred.

Used to be... by His grace. :)

As to what He has done in me personally... I guess you may be able to catch a glimpse if you actually read through the things I write from the very beginning in 1999. But that'll take quite a while... cause I just realised that I actually wrote quite a bit. :P

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I came home to find a rather interesting discourse going on in my tagboard... was actually thinking of what I can write for today as I was walking home and interestingly, what I had in mind would have kind of answered the query posted by a passer by (hope you don't mind that I quote your question):

has it ever occurred to u that your parents should be the ones u honour and love more (than your God)?

Actually, it confounded me quite a bit initially and it got me wondering what you have read here that sparked that question. At first glance it really sounded as an accusation... but yea, I think I understand where you are coming from. :) It may be helpful to know how the question came about... but in any case, I'll just put forth my own journey with regards to contemplating this question.

As a relatively new Christian a few years ago, this particular verse never failed to confound me:

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." - Matthew 10:37-39

To a non believer and even a new believer, these verses may sound very, very off. Which religion in the world will actually preach a message such as this?

I struggled with that for quite some time in the past... but as I grew in my personal relationship with God, I came to see those verses in a different light.

No one loves (agape) us more than God does. Physically we see that our parents are the ones who brought us into the world, fathered and mothered us, sheltered us, loved us... and all moral fronts point us to love and honor our parents back... more than anything else.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:13-16

How much are we to believe that it's God who ordained our births... our parents' births...?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

How much are we to believe that God desired so much for us to be reconciled back to Him that He gave His very Son?

Mmm. Before it gets all theological, I'll just like to put it simply, which has been iterated by the other passer-by (hur hur).

Because God is Love (1 John 4:8), He enables and empowers us to love by His love. My relationship with my parents has never been better... these few years has been an exhilerating journey in spite of the many seemingly bad things that happened in my family.

You may have come from a closely knitted and loving family where your parents may have lavished on you much and you grow up with the moral instincts set in place to love and honor them above all else... or perhaps you may be a parent with a believing child who seemingly spends all his or her time in church and totally neglects you... or you may just be someone putting forth this case from a neutral point.

In any case, I will say that a believer who seeks and yearns to pursue God will have the things in life falling in place. It's just that sometimes some tend to veer off that focus and their Christian life gets centred upon church, ministry, people... anything else but God Himself.

It's really hard to put everything into an entry... but what I can really offer is to let you know that as I draw closer to Him, it's Him who prompts me to know how to honor my parents, upholding them in prayer, being with them, etc.

God's power gets manifested the most when a believer who comes from a broken family learns and understands what it means to love and honor his or her parents in spite of the lack of love he or she gets from home.

I wouldn't say I came from a broken family... but I definitely did come from one with broken lines of communications. It's really hard for me to put into words how God has so graciously mended up those broken lines... and beyond that, replaced them with new ones.

Before I knew Christ personally, I don't think I could ever grasp the concept of saying "I love you" to my parents. Now I wake up each day and give thanks for them... and pray for my mom that God will continue to cast His healing hands upon her... and for my dad that God will be his protection and the reason of his work.

And for all these to happen... He gets the glory.

And ultimately it points back to growing that continuing love relationship with Him, that which is real and personal.

Truth, I've learnt, is not a concept, but a person:

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life.'" - John 14:6

It is very hard to explain spiritual things sometimes because it takes that relationship to understand. My hope then for you... is that you will accept the love that He has given to you and build a living relationship with Him one day... and let the things you learn out of that relationship answer your own queries.

God bless. :)

Thank you... because reflecting upon this and writing this out served as a really good ending for the day.

In any case, I believe that it is not by chance that you've read anything here that's sparked that question in you to have it tagged on the board. ;)

Yes daddy. I know you're peeking! Hahahaha...

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Received my psyc test result today... YAY!!!!! :D Hahahaha...

I guess it's easy to thank God when results are good or are of personal expectations... but yea. I'm learning to thank Him not because of that, but simply just believing that He willed that result for His purposes (Phil 2:13!! Haha...). If anything, my heart was encouraged. :)

Anyways.

Spent most parts of the day with three of my students: yf, zm and ym. Yf suggested iceskating weeks back... so there we were at the fuji icepalace ice skating rink. So malu okay... I was holding on to the sides so tightly :| Haha... I know it's a matter of practising and letting go... but man, it's just so different from walking (duh). Ym was there going round and round... :|

Perhaps I should pick up roller blading and start from there (can see sMonSter, 3sa and Markudesu's eyes light up big big). Haha... perhaps!

Then we went over to kbox. For lunch. :P Of course not only for lunch... Hahaha. Got to sing the songs I wanted to sing! Ym had to leave early... the other two ended up having quite some fun straining their vocal chords. Hahaha...

We wrapped the day up with a project group discussion since those who were there happened to be in the same group.

My soles are still feeling a little bit sore from tying the skates too tight. :|

Haha but yea... it was a good outing. :)

Adjourned to my favourite parking space before my lesson in the evening. Had a really good time journalling down thanksgivings and thoughts in general... thanking God for how wonderful He's been.

That's it for now (eyelids closing due to physical fatigue)... till next time! :)

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I was sitting at the benches writing some stuff and waiting for the project group members to arrive when this dear brother suddenly popped out in front of me. Hahaha... the funny thing was I was just wondering a few moments ago whether he would actually suddenly pop out of nowhere. Hahaha... He's quite glad about the results he'd gotten, definitely more than enough to move on. Then he popped away to play basketball with his classmates. Hahaha...

Glad that all went better than expected brother. Give thanks! ;)

The meeting with today's project group went pretty well - had a good time of knowing a little bit more of themselves and doing some brainstorming. Looking forward to future meetings! :)

Went home after that to rest a while before meeting Char at Causeway Point... we celebrated her dad's 48th birthday.

Really thankful for the way we have so many things in common to talk about. :)

Hi uncle Wee Boon! I know you'll most probably read this... Haha. Just want to wish you a blessed 48th birthday in advance. It's really a privilege knowing Char and family... it's funny how there wasn't really much ice to break since the beginning... and ya, I won't take that for granted! Hopefully the singlet fits just nice and that you'll be able to wear that for the coming run in dec! ;)

Yesterday was our half year anniversary.

As I looked back and reflected, I only saw one set of footprints in the sand.

He carried the both of us.

In His hands.

I haven't used this word in my entries for some time already.

But it's now inside waiting to explode out.

HALLELUJAH.

:)

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I started off relief teaching some two to three months back... not really knowing the students... and I guess everyone started off relatively on the same plane (as in x, y axis).

Two, three months down the road after my term ended, I have some who'll treat me as transparent even though they notice me, some who'll call out my name and have a kick out of doing so, some who'll quicky sneak a bow and rush off... Haha.

It's funny how I appear condescending to some. Hahaha.

But I genuinely appreciate those who've taken the step to decide that Mr. Sng can be a friend of sorts. I have some who msn to share their joys and woes from time to time, one who called to chat, one who wants to pay a home visit in time to come, some whom I'm meeting soon for an ice skating escapade (oh no the thought of falling... arghhh. Hahaha) and perhaps a k session (ho ho ho).

And then there's one who's added me into his stable of brothers... I guess I've just brought the average age of the lot up by a lot. Hahaha...

In any case, as how He's befriended me five years ago, I count it a joy and privilege to be able to befriend you guys. As much as there will be times of trepidation... but I guess generally it will be a joy to see how some of you grow up in time to come.

Looking forward to that. :)

BEFRIENDED
The friendship of God
Date Created: 10/21/2002
Author: Matt Redman
Scripture References: Psalm 25:14
Verse Text: "The friendship of the Lord reserved for those who fear Him."

For me, the friendship of the Lord will always be one of life's great mysteries. How can it be that the King above all Kings would extend a hand of friendship to the likes of me? Recently, a friend pointed out to me that the word "befriended" literally means, "I am friended". Isn't that an incredible thought?... I am 'friended' by the Lord of all Creation.

Throughout the bible we see glimpses of the Lord's friendship. The Lord talked to Moses face to face, "as a man speaks with his friend.". (Exodus 33:11) Abraham was called the 'friend of God' (James 2:23). Job talked of the time when "God's intimate friendship blessed my house." (Job 29:4) Jesus was labelled the 'friend of sinners', and then told his disciples, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you 'friends'..." (John 15:15).

Friendship is about closeness. In worship, we so often sense the closeness of God. Yet note that the friendship of the Lord is about far more than a feeling. In the second part of John 15:15 Jesus goes on to tell the disciples the reason he now calls them friends:

"... for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

In other words, this friendship is about revelation. We go deeper than we would have ever been, and see more of the Father than we would ever have seen. We are drawn close to God, and in that place hear His whispers.

These days, whenever I write or lead a song on the friendship of the Lord, I'm eager to put it in context - yes, we are called the friends of God, and yet too we worship Him as the mighty God who is before all things, in all things, and in whom all things hold together. This is beautiful mystery that we hold in tension in worship. To sing songs of friendship only would rob worship of it's mystery, and God of His true honour. Let's have worship times full of the 'friendship' and the 'fear' of the Lord. As Psalm 25:14 tells us, The friendship of the Lord reserved for those who fear Him." Hopefully, the first couple of lines have some sense of that beautiful tension in them:

"Befriended, befriended by the King above all Kings,
Surrendered, surrendered to the friend above all friends."

(today's verse of the day)

Exact same verse. Okay. Understood.

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It was quite elaborate, a seemingly simple cake cutting session and then Amos was led all around in search for his present, with the clues leading him to the field next door blindfolded. People were stationed there with waterbombs there. Haha...

I had no part to play in the planning of this elaborate birthday extravaganza... and for that, I'm letting out an extremely wide smile.

:)

TMS... ni men tian tian dou zai cheng zhang. :)

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My afternoon meeting ran a bit late... and so I ended up a little bit late for youth service. Arrived just in time for the time of worship... then 3sa came by and invited me to join her and eelin for a time of intercession through the time of worship.

I don't know why... but Philippians 2:13 has been impressed upon my heart ever since two weeks ago:

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

I remember how my family came to Christ. My mom was a kindergarten supervisor then... there was this photocopier repairman repairing the photocopier (wah repetition) in her office when she started pouring out my family's condition to him regarding my sister's leukemia condition back then... and all he did was to pop a simple reply:

"Why don't you bring your family to the church near your place to ask for prayers?"

Come to think of it... it actually crossed my mind today to wonder if he's a believer! And as I was walking along this afternoon... it dawned upon me that it's one thing to ask God to use us... and another thing altogther for Him to work in each of us and use each of us according to His good purpose, regardless of whether we know Him, love Him or obey Him.

It'll be cool should He allow me to meet that photocopier repairman someday in the future. I don't think he'll ever know how such a small and seemingly insignificant response statement could bring about such gargantuan changes in my life... and in my family's life. :)

Anyways.

We prayed... and somehow I personally took the step of faith and asked that if it's His will, let this be the time for some of them to have a fresh encounter. My heart went out to this pair of brothers who've been brought up in a Christian family but never really stopped riding upon other people's faith... I did come with a bit of disbelief... but lifted the request up nonetheless. And for the dear brother who's been trying to hear Him the past many weeks... that he'll hear this very day. :')

The entire group went forward and responded to the altar call to know Him more and to recommit themselves.

I stood at the back stumped for quite a while.

Just a few weeks back I thought I'll never cry anymore. Haha...

I think the most memorable moment for me was when I saw that dear brother after the service ended. His eyes were a little red then...

You see. Through the past weeks he's been trying and wanting to hear God speak to him... and whenever we meet for our weekly session and when I ask him how God had spoken to him he'll always look at me with the confused look (Hahahahahaha... :X).

And so I looked at him after service and smiled.

"So... I guess this coming monday you'll have things to tell me YES!?"

He smiled and nodded his head.

Hahaha... :')

And then it was dinner with Char's extended family at her uncle's place. Char bought TWO TUBS OF ISLAND CREAMERY'S ICE CREAM *eyes bright bright*. Hahaha... it was a great evening knowing a little bit more about her aunt (they own a restaurant in australia) and just being around with the family... and then there's girlgirl, her uncle's pet dog! She's the most well behaved dog I've ever come across... so nice and cuddly and energetic... so much so she almost got Char jealous. *oops* :X

Haha...

It's good to be conscious that we're all living by His grace each and every single day. :)

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Mmm. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I didn't exactly had a very good sleep the day before... so I shall sleep earlier today.

The briefing in school went pretty well, finally managed to put faces to certain people whom I've been corresponding with online regarding the project competition that I'm coordinating. Was expecting some people to turn up but didn't see their faces in the end... ah wells.

But the highlight's got to be brother Patrick's arrival to Singapore. :) He's the brother who got me to record "Above All Else" for his second album... just arrived from kuala lumpur to minister to bro Chris' church. Was supposed to meet up with 3 for a lunch catchup... but... mmm. :P But thankfully that gave me some time to meet up with them for a while before the briefing. Chris drove us to have some japanese fare (oh man my love for sashimi is on a terrible rise... :X) at the Concourse... which I never knew contained a shopping mall portion! Talk about being mountain tortoise... Haha.

We met up again after the briefing... thankful for the time of catching up. Things are brewing... :P

Now that the school exams are over, I am looking forward to starting my job proper as a project coordinator and a coach to the teams.

Exciting days ahead. :)

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Submitted the assignment... did the applied psyc test today... shouldn't have a problem passing it. :P

Oh oh oh... Starbuck's Hazelnut Ice Chocolate's very potent. It's like drinking a cup of melted ferrero rochers... No more of such drinks for me in a long long time. I really need to cut down on sugared drinks and food already if I am to lose any weight. :| Haha...

Spent some time doing the "Experiencing God" material before doing revision for the test... then the rest of the time was spent on writing songs... which didn't prove fruitful in the end. Wrote some stanzas and kept on cancelling them out... but I don't really consider that as time wasted. Because some things just get reinforced in the midst of thinking of what to write or waiting for inspiration to strike...

That relationships in general matter... that it's not who I am... but what He's done that mattered. That it's not what His will for me is... but simply what His will is and how I can be a part of it. That it's because of Him that transformation can occur... that my awareness of my behavior in front of others is heightened knowing that He's the one going before me. That I don't ever have to feel lousy or not up to standard or anything to that extent... because I'm borne not by my own strength or courage.

One of my boys messaged me and said that his christian walk may be in trouble.

The Galvin I once knew would feel terribly worried.

But the Galvin I know now has learnt to trust.

That it is God who works in us, to will and to act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2:14).

And that His love is great... and His faithfulness endures forever (Psalm 117:1-2).

:)

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WELCOME HOME (YOU)
Brian Littrell

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my father said

You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
I will open my arms

Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face.

When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son I know there'll be times
You will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my father said

You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
You can bet I will open my arms

Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face

Said I've been waiting for that day
Just to feel your warm embrace
Your love has shown
I will never be alone
You will welcome me home

I'll forever be
You will say to me
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

- Luke 15:11-32

Dead... alive again. Lost... is found.

He's waiting to say that to you too.

"Welcome Home, You"

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I was on my way home from my tutorial on monday evening when the theme song from "Toyko Love Story" started playing on my player a few stops before I was to alight.

It's one of those songs that never fails to bring me back to the good ol' days... Hahaa. Not many songs have that effect, but this one brings me all the way back to my secondary one days. I missed my sec one camp as I had chicken pox over that period of time... and so I ended up spending time at my grandpa's place back then recovering from it... and caught "Tokyo Love Story" each day in that little self-declared isolation room as a result. Haha... Can still remember aunty Rika (grandma's maid back then) applying the calamine lotion on my back...

Wonder how she's doing now.

Life was so simple back then.

But yea... the rites of passage... responsibilites...

And I'm just glad that there's a place where I can worm myself into and find myself back to the days of old.

In the secret... in the quiet place. In the stillness... ;)

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Hahaha... oh man it rhymes! :P

It's really been some time since I've answered such quizzes... but yea, for the fun of it, here's one. 5 posted me some as well... will answer them in time to come!

1. Single, taken or crushing?
Reserved. Heh. :P

2. Are you happy with your life?
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. :)

3. When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast?
How do you know that the person is the right one fast?

4. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Before God... yes.

5. Do you believe that there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
No.

6. Would you ever take someone back if he/she cheated on you?
Depends on what He says.

7. Have you talked about marriage with another before?
Yeah. :)

8. Do you want children?
Of course. :P

9. How many?
ONE SOCCER TEAM FULL! hahaha...

10. Would u consider adoption ?
Yes.

11. If somebody likes you right now , what do you think is the best way to let you know his/her feeling?;
Usually the guy lets the girl know right. :)

12. Do you enjoy getting into a relationship?
For a greater purpose than ourselves. :)

13. Be honest , what is the furthest you and your ex did before?;
Not applicable.

14. Do you believe in first love?
I love the song. Hahahaha... I have my first love. :)

15. Do you believe that you can change someone?
No I don't think so. He can.

16. Are you romantic?
I can't evaluate myself.

17. If you could get married anywhere, where would it be?
A place where all my friends will be able to get to.

18. Do you easily give in in fighting?
I usually don't get into any... or rather it's terribly hard for me to get into any. But I think if I do the person better run away. Serious. Hahaha...

19. Have you wished that you could have had someone but messed it up?
Nopes.

20. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
I've got feelings for a lot of people leh.

21. Have you ever broken a heart?
my Father's heart... many many times.

22. If one day your best friend fell in love with the guy/girl whom you are deepy in love with, what will you do ?
It's the case right now! Hahha okay people who don't know what I mean will not get what I mean. :P

23. Are u missing someone now?
:)

Elect 5 friends to do this quiz:
5, 6, er mei, Shaojie & Bryan (if u guys ever pop by. hahaha...)

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Just realised that the next two week's been packed with deadlines upon deadlines. Hohoho...

Thankful to have gotten the 3000 word insearch paper done together with the relevant attachments (yay!!!)... hope to get the rest of the projects (some super long due) done very soon. Ganbatte Galvin!! Haha...

It's been a long but pretty eventful day. Waited for jj to finish his morning paper before we proceeded to king albert park for breakfast... another fulfilling session... it's indeed a privilege to witness his growth. :)

Saw mei with her classmates!

Saw ray jnr with his classmates revising for exams! Haha...

Met up with cy, w and bh from 1a for lunch before helping them a little with their math revision... hopefully they'll do their best in the paper later on. We started playing chinese chess halfway through... :| Stressful, first time I played to the very last piece and lost. :| Haha. yf from 1c and ym from 1f popped by to say hi (thank you ym for the signature salute. ;P)... all the best for the rest of the papers! Ending real soon! :)

Parked myself at capitol starbucks after that and waited for my evening lesson to commence. Used the time and did some revision for wednesday's applied psy test... quite productive. Then it was class... the tutor talked about some cases in the juvenile reformative centres and I somehow found myself tuning into every word she said.

Class ended... I was on my way home when severe hunger pangs struck. It was so bad I decided to make a detour to lau pa sat... ended up having fried dumpling char siew hor fun for a late dinner.

The person serving me the food was a relatively young lad with a cap on... he had a long tatoo underneath his right forearm.

Then I went home. My sis decided to watch the last episode of Gokusen II, the series whereby a female teacher sought to change the mindsets of a class of juvenile delinquents with regards to life, friendships and graduation. The ending was, as with other similar shows, touching. Very touching.

And I couldn't help but feel that I'm consciously running away.

When the time comes for things to be ascertained... I guess that'll be the time I'll be prepared to obey. In the meantime, I'll just continue to trust. But yeah. Sometimes I wonder if there's really a need for my comfort zones to be trampled so badly time and again. :|

(totally random)

While walking along the way to lau pa sat, it dawned on me that it's been some time I've last jammed with pleroma. I'm actually missing those times.

1 called. He's enlisting into the civil defence force tomorrow. How time flies... Haha. All the best bro! :)

3 messaged. Gonna meet up for a time of catching up long due... funny how this is the season for all of you to be catching up man... Haha. Looking forward to it. :)

I really need to be disciplined and use time more wisely and productively.

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Char and I met up at the shopping mall to grab dinner and the birthday cake... then we went up, hid the cake inside the fridge and carried on with dinner. Then when aunty witwit brought her dinner into mom's room to eat I quietly sneaked the cake into the living room and we prepared the candles... the strong winds blew off the candles a couple of times O_o.

Then we inched towards the room... dad switched off the lights and then we sang. She was still acting ignorant asking who's birthday it was... So funny lar. Hahahaha...

I don't think we can ask for a caregiver any better than her. :)

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Had a really good time of catching up with no. 2... it's been some time. It's always heartening to see how God has been moving in the lives of others... and how this brother's coping in that highly stressful institution... Haha. And beyond the coping... keeping his eyes open and heart tender for His work to be done.

Actually this whole extended family thing... it's really been a privilege to be a godbrother to you people. :)

Today's Aunty Witwit's 36th birthday!!! Gonna spring a little birthday surprise later!! Hahaha... hopefully she'll be surprised. :P

Shall leave you with this thought provoking article. Faith... :)

10/5/06
What is Faith?
Michael Ramsden

"Faith is believing what you want to believe, yet cannot prove."

Sadly, many people, including some Christians, live with this definition of faith. For some it feels liberating. It means being able to believe in anything you want to. No explanation is required; indeed, no explanation can be given--it is just a matter of faith. For others, such a definition is sickening. Embracing faith means you stop thinking. As faith increases, reason and meaning eventually disappear. No explanations can be given, and none can be expected. Thus, living in faith is living in the dark.

For both groups, the problem is the same. By starting with the wrong definition of faith, they have asked the wrong question, are dealing with the wrong problem, and so have ended up with the wrong answer. Faith is not wishful thinking. It is not about believing in things that do not exist. It neither makes all things believable, nor meaning impossible.

So what is the right definition of faith? "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen," writes the author of Hebrews. A few verses later faith is similarly defined as knowing that God exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

Perhaps the best word we can use to translate the Greek word pistis (usually translated faith) is the word "trust" or "trustworthy." Suppose you tell a friend that you have faith in her. What does that mean? It means two things. First, you are sure the person you are talking to actually exists. And second, you are convinced she is trustworthy; you can believe what she says and trust in her character.

It is in this way that the writer of Hebrews talks about faith in God. Faith is knowing that God is real and that you can trust in his promises. You cannot trust someone who isn't there, nor can you rely on someone whose promises are not reliable. This is why faith is talked about as the substance of things hoped for and as the evidence of things not seen. Both words carry with them a sense of reality. Our hope is not wishful thinking. Faith does not make God real. On the contrary, faith is the response to a real God who has made Himself known to us:

"I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,

so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me" (Isaiah 45:5-6).

Ever since the Church began, the refrain has always been the same. It has never appealed for people to leap into the dark; no such invitation is found anywhere in Scripture. Instead, we are called to step into the light. The Christian gospel is not a message that revels in ignorance. It is the revelation of God in the person Christ, so that we might know there is none besides Him. The Christian is called to see things as they really are, and not as he would simply like them to be. We trust in a God who has revealed Himself. We believe because He is real.

The Christian Gospel invites you delve into reality. It commands you to be honest in your commitment to know that which is true. Is Jesus real? Who did he claim to be? Is he really alive today? Faith comes in response to knowing the answers to these questions, even as Christ is calling you near. But don't stop after the initial introductions! Just as you are able to put more trust in someone as you grow to know him, so faith increases as you grow in your relationship with Christ. There is a God who is real and true, and He is calling you unto Himself. The great joy of the Christian faith is found in the person who invites us to trust and believe.

Michael Ramsden is European director of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in the United Kingdom.

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I was messenging a number of people yesterday night to wish them the best for the coming exams... then I received a reply asking me who I was.

"Galvin."

Then the reply came.

"I don't have any friends by that name."

I thought perhaps he'd changed his phone number and I'd accidentally messaged the wrong person... so I replied:

"Ah... my friend might have changed his number. Anyways, if you're still schooling and taking your papers this message applies to you too! :)"

Then...

"Thx my PSLE is 2morrow."

Hahahaha....

Cute ah!!! :P

Anyways... feeling a little accomplished today - managed to complete the revamp of the 24.365 website in the targetted timing. Time to take a nice cool shower before I adjourn to park myself at capitol tower's starbucks again. Woohooo. :P

All the best to all who're taking their exams!

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I didn't know Jay Chou's so versatile till now. I'm playing his "Ju Hua Tai" on loop... nice song. :P

Anyways.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrew 11:1

I learnt a lot from this young brother this afternoon.

Perseverance....

Faith.

For a youth new to the faith and not having experienced Him tangibly, the faithfulness he's shown throughout the past weeks has been extremely encouraging, doing the materials, memorizing the verses, meeting up...

I don't think he'll ever imagine how much he's been used by Him to minister to me first and foremost.

Press on brother... I'm committed to pray for you for that day to come... it will come. :)

Then I had the opportunity to park myself at capitol tower's starbucks for quite some time before my tutorial commenced in the evening.

It has been quite some time I'd such quality time alone in such an environment, doing my readings... pondering over things... and there I saw a lady reading a book that looked very much like a Bible... and jotting down lots of things on another book.

And it reminded me... that I should start journaling again.

(and I pray...)

... that He'll reveal Himself in ways he's able to receive.

... that He'll heal her of her condition.

... that He'll continue to mold them towards Christlikeness.

... that He'll show them His love in such tangible ways they'll receive Him as Savior and Lord one day.

... that He'll touch him in ways only He can... that when the day comes he'll look back at all the things he'd written and laugh. Haha...

... that He'll watch over each and everyone of them as they go through this period of intense stress.

... that the day will come when I can call him a brother in Christ.

:)

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It was good... I teared. :'P

The brokenness I saw in them... the yearning to live a Christ centred life...

It's useless telling Christian youths to "behave" themselves and "be a testimony" to others, especially in school, not to "strive for things that will not last" but strive for what is "eternal"...

It's not about a set of do's and don'ts.

It's not about the doing.

It's about the being.

It's about Jesus.

It's about how transformation can only occur when an individual experiences that life transforming relationship.

It's about how an individual gets ontologically inverted back to what it's meant to be.

Then we'll suddenly see perspectives changed, that it's not about us at all.

Then we'll suddenly hear of lesser crude jokes and vulgarities.

Then we'll suddenly sense the strong urges to know Him more.

Then we'll suddenly see them praying for their friends showing more concern for them.

Basically... lives transformed.

And it doesn't apply to them alone.

The closets must rattle on.

If you're reading this and if He prompts you that you're one of whom I'm saying this to, then you should be one: I'm so proud of you. ;')