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Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.... Now that's a nice way to end the day... with a hearty laughter! Courtesy of Ryan who sent the link! Thank yous! :P

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I was walking along the way to meet Char for a quick lunch before moving on to church for youth worship practice when a little part of this just came to mind. Then I realised how much God has changed me over the years... and as I look at the people around me and find those who've chosen other people and things over knowing Him and how easy it actually is for me to do likewise... I'm just thankful that the very fact He's been drawing me to Him is entirely His work and grace. Looking back, I wasn't "enticed" to know Jesus; neither did it took me much of a struggle emotionally or intellectually to believe in Him and yearn to know Him more - everything kind of just fell in place and here I am... I don't think I'll ever exchange my past seven years of knowing Him for anything else. It's really an understatement to say what a friend I've found in Jesus! :)

Over the years
I've learnt that there's
nothing I can really do
that'll make Him love me more
The love that's shown on Calvary
has become my main motivation in life
He fills my cup - it overflows
That it be used for His glory

Over the years
I've learnt to glide upon wings
Threading thin on the line
Knowing that I'll surely fall
without the wind
Not my strength for my own flapping
but unto Him this trust I bring
That this wind beneath my wings
will never cease

Over the years
I've learnt that struggles are real
and temptations abound
And the victory in Jesus' name
lies not in simple faith
But in simply the desire to drink
from the streams of living water
and let it be so
That I may choose what's right
over what the carnal self longs for

To love as He's loved
To give as He's given
To serve as He's served

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... and it's truly my 最后一课 with the guys, knowing that I'll most probably not have the opportunity to teach them in their classroom setting anymore. Oh well. But I must say that it has been a really satisfying season compared to last year... got to know more students and yeah, remember much more names. But I must confess, I only managed to remember all the names in a class out of the seven... for the rest of the classes it will be a handful of them who left impressions, good or bad. As to why I actually remembered all the names of that class... Haha. :) Thankful for the times.

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I don't know if they've managed to pick up anything from the lesson prepared. I guess in the midst of battling with classroom discipline and all, I've tried my best to deliver what's supposed to be delivered. Well... guess the only way to know if the lesson helped will be for me to see how they live their lives years down the road.

Beyond all the cacophony, the playfulness, the vulgarness for some, the superficialities... there lies simply a heart that longs to be loved, to be cared for, to be told that hey boy, you're much loved and cherished, and that you can achieve much in life. Be empowered boy... be empowered. You'll learn how to treat others with respect and dignity, you'll learn how to pull up your socks, you've got it in there - don't waste it.

Wings are developing... don't stop short in clipping theirs simply because they're displaying results and attitudes contrary to expectations. Dig deeper, look beyond the first layer... you'll find treasures untold... and miracles unfold.

On another token, it slipped my mind that I had a class to attend yesterday evening (sigh... forgot to check my schedules, sign of old age. :( ), BUT... the evening was really well spent. Hur hur. Char had her interview yesterday early evening... looks pretty set that we'll be able to travel together to work during her practicum period next year. ;) Dinner at Ivins was wonderful... I think I'm beginning to like Nonya food more and more. And and and. The rootbeer float, carrot cake and brownie at Milk & Honey was great too, of course it wouldn't be if Char wasn't there. Hurr.

There'll come days when we'll just get so busy and worn out... but one thing I'm thankful for is that we can be talking about work and yet feel energetic talking about it. I suppose there'll be times of complaining about work here and there in the future... but I gather we'll be sharing more of Him working in the lives of those under our charges in time to come. So cool right! Hahaha... :P

找到你...是我的福分
感谢上天赐给我这美丽的缘分
再也找不到另一个人
能像你这样闯入我的心门

:)

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I've been pouring through notes, sourcing for resources... planning a lesson that I don't exactly have to plan for. So far I've been stuck a couple of times.

And then I wondered if it's worth the time and effort.

Then I realised... even if it's just one person who'll get something out of it, it will be worth it.

And I'll just hope that at least one of them will learn something bah. :)

Time to sleep for now... got to wake up early. rawr. (out of battery)

Hahaha... nights.

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Revelling in some semi-euphoric state after having staged a momentary victory over work. Hahaha... Finished project number two! Now project number one's left with one section to go... and project number three shall be done very soon. Gogogo! Hahaha...

But frankly, my mind's predominantly occupied by the nagging thought to know that I have yet to plan for my last lesson with the guys. As in, for the past many weeks it has been quite straight forward teaching the syllabus - just had to make sure the powerpoints' done at a level that they'll understand. This has got to be my very first time planning a lesson from the ground up with no fixed resource. Hmmm... Let's see how it goes. Shall do some brainstorming before I sleep. And hopefully this will benefit them in a way or two. Well... at the back of my mind there's always this thought that a lot of things can be done in vain... but guess I'll just have to trust that He'll watch over each of them. Mmm. :)

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My craving for mooncakes has been partially satisfied... by mooncakes!! Haha... came home with Char this afternoon from church to do a quick change of clothes before rushing off for my physical remedial training at kathib camp... and WHOA. Saw a box on the dining table that looked like a mooncake box. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a genuine mooncake box containing six small mooncakes!! Grandpa brought it from don't know where... Hahaha. :P But then the yolk so small... ah wells. Cannot complain, it's a blessing! :P Thankful! :P

Rushing more work soon... hope to complete more. Gogogo.

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Hur hur thank you Ryan for cheering me on and giving me breathing space for that project. Hur hur.

I have a craving for mooncakes. :| Can someone please bless me with some? Hahahaha....

Ah this is so random.

3 projects in 2 days, with physical remedial training in camp each day.

Bleah my wrong technique in standing broad jump. RAWR.

I should stop roaring at my work and just work on them. Yes... bit by bit - the first project's almost done!

Response for the upcoming second ThinkQuest briefing in school suddenly became a little overwhelming. Sets me thinking... why on earth we do we have so many people getting interested in the competition all of a sudden? Hmmm... that is a really good problem though. Stretches me... but Lord, give me responsible and committed students and I'll do more than my best to make sure they'll end up with something. Please please please... Haha.

I really look forward to the day I step into that place as an official staff. :)

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One of which is derived from seeing those who started off paying zilch attention in class at all in lesson one journey the distance to become those who look at the screen and at you and answer questions posted to them in class.

Special mention to three of them. Jonathan the class monitor who never hands in work. Yuzhong. Ryuto.

You guys made my stay extra worthwhile.

:)

Actually I stand at jeopardy by mentioning only three names... but yeah. To those who've been paying attention since day one - a big big thank you too. :)

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Thankful for the past two days of readings... Pa is trying to remind me of something that's for sure. Wrote the latest chinese song yesterday morning... and somehow in the midst of writing the pre chorus the all familiar verse from the chinese song came to mind:

自己跌倒自己爬...

Then I realised how even from young we have the incalcuation of self resilience, which is a necessary trait that we should possess as individuals, that we may withstand trials, tribulations, setbacks... it should be emphasized even more so in this generation where almost everything is provided for them. There must be such youths existing still... but definitely lesser, those who do their own household chores, wash their own shoes. Come to think of it, gone are the days of liquid paper-ing white shoes... memories ah. Hahaha... well. At least they'll still get to learn to kiwi their boots when they enter the army. Hur hur hur. :P

This morning's readings read (IDT people will realise how far I am lagging... hahaha):

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

And as I look at myself, I'm just thankful for all the people that He's brought into my life. I know that there'll definitely be someone out there to help me up if ever I should encounter something so huge that even my resilence cannot withstand. Dori's leukemia was one... mom's brain haemorrhage was one... in actual fact, I realised that I was never alone in any of the issues that bug me, big or small.

Speaking of inner resilence (best encapsulated in a chinese idiom that my school's took up as one her motto - 自强不息), there are people here and there who mentioned that they see that trait in me. Well. The ironic thing is that whereas others, especially those who aren't believers (for now, for He makes everything beautiful in His timing), may see it as that, but I'm actually quite a dependant person.

I wouldn't have come so far if He wasn't with me.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken... why three? Because in all relationships He has a stake in it. Especially amongst believers, He gels us together, and as we go about encouraging one another in Him, we find ourselves built up.

Everything comes in play I guess when one falls.

You have your inner resilience. You have people around who'll help you up. You've got Him ultimately to see you through it all.

自己跌倒...可不用自己爬。 ;)

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Slept two hours the day before... so when I reached home at five-ish today I konked out after I showered... all the way to twelve midnight. It's one now... think I shall go back to bed in another hour's time. :P

I guess all my backlogged work's getting to me right now. There's suddenly a need to complete say 3 projects over the weekend when there's practically not much time to finish even 1? Hur hur hur... Tis one of those times I pray for godspeed. But then. I realised that this is a result of my own doing... so no excuse. Booooo Galvin. Boooo. :}

Had a good day in school... found satisfaction in students understanding what the topic's about. :) Met up with Markudesu at the Upper Room Cafe near school for lunch and chat... it's this cosy little cafe tucked in between fifth and sixth avenue... think I've found a new hang out if I want a place to chill near work next time! :) Went back to school after that to collect a letter from the admin office and spent some time to chat with the administrator... I must say it was a really good chat. Many revelations... of which I was quite startled and surprised at... the pleasantly surprised forms. Hur hur... God is good. :)

Wrote two mandarin songs the past day... hopefully I can get them recorded before the end of this month (10 more days hmmm) so I can submit them for the SPOP competition as well. Time time time... the projects take precedence for now.

Alrights. That's it for now. All the best to all out there taking their end of year exams, big and small! JIAYOU!!!! ;)

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希望
19 September 2007

一阵阵的创伤
心里百般的捆绑
天空昼夜是黑暗
辽望不到前方的岸

欢笑已成了过往
乌云仍无法驱散
里头越来越慌忙
或许沉默就是答案

黑暗不过是缺乏
明亮的灯光
太阳会升上
自己跌倒了可不用自己爬
手牵手咱们放开步伐

无论乌云密布
还是崎岖道路
学会吃的起苦
不轻易认输
若想哭就去哭
哭过后要觉悟
用双手紧握住
希望在人间无数

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I chanced upon a blog entry of a youth of a certain faith who wondered why "protestant" Christians seem to be more "on" about going to church and all whereas he seems to be finding it a drag.

Initially thought I'll write something lengthy... but I realised that people, especially young people, prefer short summaries that encapsulate the same amount of content. So... yeah. :P

Ministry that is relevant is one; churches with relevant youth ministries see more regular youth attendance. Fellowship amongst fellow friends, brothers and sisters... important. Relevant messages... important.

But ultimately, what I hope will be the real reason is because of the relationship one has with God... and they look forward to attending church and services so that they'll have an opportunity for a corporate time of praising, worshipping and hearing His Word.

Many youths born into Christian / Catholic families attend church / mass because it's a family faith. Till that faith turns personal... you'll always be left wondering how come I find it such a drag to leave my home on Sunday mornings.

Faith in a religion reduces it to a set of rules and instructions to follow.

Faith in a relationship causes it to flourish... because this particular relationship... it'll definitely grow.

If you're a Christian youth dropping by, my prayer for you is that you'll never stop growing in this deeply satisfying relationship with Jesus. :)

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1.
the person who tagged you is:
Bryan Kuah Zhao Zhi. Hahaha... bkzz sounds nice.

2.
the relation w him/her is:
teacher-student, mentor-mentee, friend

3.
5 impressions you have of him/her:
(a) makes a good friend
(b) cherishes relationships
(c) works. with right people.
(d) multi-talented
(e) polodudeo

4.
the most memorable thing he/she has done for you:
bomb me for sushi.

5.
the most memorable words he/she has said to you:
THANK YOU MR. SNG. Haha... and no, not those mandatory ones said after lessons.

6.
if he/she becomes your lover, you will:
sorry I'm taken.

7.
if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be:
not relevant.

8.
if he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
it definitely won't be me making him an enemy.

9.
if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
my ego puncturing skills may be a threat.

10.
the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is:
be the best coach / friend I can be for him.

11.
your overall impression of him/her is:
someone who's able to achieve if he wants to... someone who treasures the things and relationships given him.

12.
how you think people around you will feel about you:
stern. dao. closed up. (i'm practicing reversed psychology)

13.
the characteristic you love about yourself is:
not so much about myself... but how God has grown me through the past seven years to seek His stuff.

14.
the characteristic you hate about yourself is:
i can be very ill disciplined.

15.
the most ideal person you want to be is:
Christ. ;)

16.
for people that care and like you, say something to them:
hope that one day I can find ourselves praising Him together, that I can openly pray with and for us.

17.
pass this quiz to 11 people that you wish to know how they feel about you

1)eunice goooh
2)joash chooong
3)ezekiel snggg
4)zephy wongg
5)zebedee wongg
6)leon limm
7)dominic hann
8)chongwe
9)timtamm
10)qifann
11) nickeee

who is no.6[leon] having a relationship with?
hmmmmmmmmm. none as far as i know. :)

Is no.9[timtam] a male or female?
male.

If no.7[dom] and 10[qifann] are together, will it be a good thing?
they're best friends! don't think can go further.. if not very sad. hahaha...

What is no.2[joash] studying?)
year 4 IB materials. Gogogogo.

When was the last time you had a chat with no.3[ezekiel]?
couple days ago.

What kind of music does no.8[chongwe] like?
ah this i don't know.

Does no.1[eunice] has any siblings?
josephhh.

Will you woo no.3[ezekiel]?
No.

How about no.7[dom]?
No.

Is no.4 single[zephy]?
yes. available and very eligible.

What's the surname of no.5[zebedee]?
wong

What's the hobby of no.4[zephy]?
goes around hypothesizing that the deathnote is on the loose.

Do no.5[zebedee] and 9[timtam] get along well?
they don't know each other.

Where is no.2[joash] studying at?
acs(i)

Say something casual about no.1[eunice]
my godsister. (:

Have you tried developing feelings for no.8[chongwe]?
!!!

Where does no.9[timtam] live?
in the east if i didn't remember wrongly.

What colour does no.4[zephy] like?
black. hahahahah... and white.

Are no.5[zebedee] and 1[eunice] best friends?
mmm nopes don't think so.

Does no.7[dom] like no.2[joash]?
don't think they'll know each other

How did you get to know no.2[joash]?)
WEB

Does no.1[eunice] have any pets?
noopes

Is no.7[dom] the sexiest person in the world?
HMMMMMMM.

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Less of us turned up for Hwa Chong's Mid Autumn Festival Celebrations this year round... but somehow this year's celebrations and the things done brought about a larger dosage of nostalgia... don't know why. Hahaha... :)

Met up with Destrius (Xinyu), Yuntian and Peilin at Prince, this dimly lit restaurant-like eatery at Coronation Plaza, for dinner... Hahaha... brings back a lot a lot of memories. The aunty offered us the student western set meals!!! Hahaha... we opted for the beef hor fun though, having heard so much about it through the online review. It's ironic that we never knew that they served zi char when we were students and eating their student western set meals like no one's business. Hahaha.

Then we walked to school... the path in between Coro and school... so much memories too. Lazed a bit at the wings... then we started lamented that we were such guai(1) students we never made any markings to our class bench - now we can't possibly know which one it is anymore. Oh well. Haha... met Dantong and some other juniors... but yeah. We all felt so old... as in, we didn't see anyone else from our batch at the celebrations unlike the year before. Haha... but nevermind. Young at heart, young at heart! :D

Songs session was cool! We went to form part of the crowd in the central plaza and sang the familiar songs... then we started to link up shoulder to shoulder... man, reliving those memories. :P Then...

"Four more years... and perhaps I can think of adding a new pre-chorus to the song... Hahaha. :) Last I heard, this song's been spreading amongst Hwa Chongians... I wonder if they ever really use it for singspirations? Heh heh." - Me after MAF 2006

They sang the song they sang the song! Hahaha... I guess a lot of the people there didn't know the song... but yeah. Surprised that the Student's Council actually did both the verses... :P It's getting more and more meaningful to me, the song that is... since my class' nearing our ten years very soon. :)

Next we had the mass dance session... I guess that's one regret, that I never really seriously managed to learn the steps proper. Danced to the pretty mechanical "Electric Dreams" though... fun!! The steps are like in my long term memory already I guess. Hahaha...

It's something that I really appreciate of the school I guess. That we have things to hold on to even after graduation. So much to cherish and yet to know we can move on because Hwa Chong will always be there...

And it's a nice feeling to know that those whom I've taught the past two years... one day they'll learn and sing those songs too, that they'll grow to cherish those sessions and dances as well. I had the weirdest thought that I'll perhaps come learn it with them all over again 3 - 4 years down the road... Hahahaha... see how. :P

Dest, Kel and I stayed till it all ended... then we took a slow walk towards the high school section and talked about our high school memories... we were from different classes but attended the same computer studies class. Haha... I seriously feel blessed. Really. I mean... I'm a person who can't articulate myself... who never knew how to cherish friendships, who never dared to initiate gatherings, friendships, etc... and to have this kind of an evening today, the chats, the catching up, the walk down memory lane... Haha. Thankful. :)

Two more years... and it'll make ten years down the road.

Hopefully we can celebrate it with a big bang and have everyone in 99S31 back in school once again. :)

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It's been a great year I must say... though all the teams didn't manage to win anything in the main competition. The objective is achieved though... that is to gain experience as first timers in the competition, especially for the secondary ones.

It's really just like yesterday when I first introduced ThinkQuest to the secondary one classes I relief taught last year... for those who've taken part and gone the distance, they'll agree that it's been a journey. For all the teams that pressed on till the end, I thank God that I've been given this privilege to share this journey with you guys (with special mention to teams "Around the World", "Clearing the Haze on Haze", "Brand !t On", "Oodles of Noodles" and "Forests, Our Lifeline") - not easy I must say, especially when I had to contend with sporadic spurts of apathy and laziness and procrastination and... Hahaha.

Two of the teams scored high distinctions in the school's internal projects competition. Prize presentation was held this late afternoon... and I must say that it's a new experience for me, to witness that little euphoric and heartening feeling when you see each of them go up the stage to receive their certificates and trophies. I guess veteran teachers would perhaps find my feelings a bit overrated... but yeah. Glad that their hard work paid off. And the satisfaction I got just from witnessing their growth throughout the months as individuals and as a team... it's something that money can't buy, nor is it something that I can readily get off other kinds of work.

Not to mention how participation is picking up this coming year with most of them taking part again... and more coming on board.

I don't know how this year's competition will eventually turn out... but one thing's for sure - let's all cherish and enjoy the process... and aim... and work. :)

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They remind me that I'm simply human.

There're so many things I wanted to do with them... get them to know themselves a little better, build some resilience... Been having these thoughts swimming in my mind for quite some time but never really dared to sit down and plan a proper 'lesson' though I've come across good resources over the past weeks.

This morning I had a chance... there was a power outage in school for the first lesson, so we met at an open area instead. I guess there's still a long way to go in chalking up experiences... but the fact that I hadn't plan for such a time caused my heart to race a little bit faster.

Guess I blew it.

The class had been exceptionally cooperative and well behaved though... which was really surprising. Not talking about any class here... but that particular one whom I've grown to love (ok Justin I'm not biased I love your class too! XD). Haha... guess I really need to equip myself to be prepared for all sorts of circumstances. That also calls for a stepping out of my comfort zone since my personality tends to take the side of well planned activities. Hur.

Thank you Wee Shuen for the card and gifts... didn't know I'm that highly esteemed! Hahaha... If anything, I'm encouraged! :P

And yes Max... welcome welcome WELCOME! Haha... :P

Many things to do these few days... three websites to complete, one biggie test to study for tomorrow (I need to get the stuff into my brain and heart soon), physical remedial trainings to attend (one later on in the evening)... not to mention that I really have to start planning well for this year's project coordination.

When inadequacies come... they remind me of yet another oppotunity to trust God and lean on Him for strength, hope, joy, empowerment... and the peace that surpasses all understanding.

If you really knew me, you will know that Galvin constantly feels like a crippled who needs God to carry him wherever he goes and be his shield against the arrows raining down on him... his shelter and dwelling especially in times of trouble.

And ultimately... I must be reminded that this life is meant to be lived victoriously in Him... because we are more than conquerors in Him who loved us.

Okay... time for a little brunch, then a little studying before the next class.

(drained)

The hours of preparing slides... offering to take them amidst all the busyness...

I guess I can appreciate a little bit of classroom discipline.

Not much... just a little will do.

Like paying some attention... and not blatantly eating.

I guess so long as I've pledged myself to this line, I have to face times of feeling stupid. No choice right. Hur.

(well)

I didn't know what got into me... I guess I got a little more than usual stuff stuffed up over the duration of the class. Didn't stay while they did their usual thank you and good bye.

Apologies to those who actually listened and worked.

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Initially wanted to catch "No Reservations" with Char... but there wasn't a good timing. So we caught "Evan Almighty" instead, having heard that it's more than just a comic relief of Noah's Ark.

Enjoyed the show. :)

More to that, I'm reminded... that when you pray for strength, you don't get a supernatural powerup in your muscles but an opportunity for its display, not strength of your own... but His.

When you pray for love, you don't get a mystical nice feeling inside... but an opportunity for you to love.

When you pray for patience, you don't suddenly get an increase in your inner strength.... but an opportunity for patience to be displayed.

And when you pray for your friends and loved ones that they'll come to know God... you trust that He will provide opportunities for them to encounter Him in His sovereign timing.

Gogogo... ;)

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"Advertisers make their message count. Bloggers make money doing what they love. It all makes sense on Advertlets.com, Asia's Better Blog Advertising Network."

I must confess that this is the first time I am really earning some passive income from my website through blog advertising... as in, with so many "money making" stuff going round the internet, you'll never know if they're real, if you really get passive kaching into your pockets by sending visitors their way.

I first knew about another Asian advertising network through The Straits Times and decided to have a go at it. Registered an account, did the necessary stuff, got some ads running on the site... but all it does is to display an ad to the advertising website. It pretty much seemed that the company's having a hard time matching advertisers to my site, or rather perhaps my site doesn't meet the exposure requirement...

Then one day, I somehow came upon Advertlets.com while I was doing some random surfing (must have had clicked on an ad served by them on another site). Was thinking hey might as well sign up since the other one's not moving... Was surprised how fast it took for things to be up... even more surprised to see how I was already earning my first forty cents or so within the day! Not to mention, one of the featured advertisers' Manhattan Fish Market, a place where I've been to and left good memories before. :)

One thing that I really like and am thankful about is that Advertlets.com seems to be able to serve out advertisements constantly... and I can see that they're really building up their advertisers base – more and more different advertisements served lately!

If you own a blog and you write often and you don't mind having some passive pocket money each month, I seriously suggest you check Advertlets.com out, who's being very modest with their tagline of being "Asia's Better Blog Advertising Network" rather than putting themselves as the best, which they can very well be.

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:)

:)

:)

Had my meeting with my boss today.

:)

:)

:)

Haha... after many detours, I am about to begin full time work at the age of 25, in my alma mater, appointment title yet to be finalized, taking two portfolios, non teaching role.

And the best thing is that it's going to be things that I love to do.

:)

I think I was overly enthusiastic in my conversation with my boss that my seemingly lack of interest in the pay gave the wrong impression that I'm rich.

!!!!!

Well. Hope that the starting pay will justify the workload the portfolios require... and it's a matter of a continual trust in His provisions. Not to mention that my family's going to lose the monthly rental fee once we shift back to our residence this coming December.

And I do realised. That trust comes with growth in a relationship. It was out of the blue when I related this analogy with Chris, David and Zeb yesterday at our discipling group meeting... but just imagine -

It's your first day in school. You don't know anyone in class. Your teacher comes along and pairs you up with a 'buddy'. You're asked to trust him as a buddy from day one.

I guess it'll take time for the relationship to grow into a buddy one yeah.

Likewise. You believe in Jesus' sacrifice for your sins and acknowledges Him as Your personal Lord and Saviour. You're asked to trust in Him fully, knowing from His Word that He'll see you through it all, that you are to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.

Nothing beats the time to grow in the relationship... and experience.

For me it was my able-to-book-out experience in basic military training that sealed it. It took time for me to grow in this relationship, for the many instances of His faithfulness to translate into track records... that I am able to come to moments of trust in spite of dire circumstances now.

Are you chalking up the little instances of His faithfulness in your life so you'll have a list of track records to refer to in the future, especially when times get rough?

And if things aren't going as smoothly now and you find yourself all stressed up, pushed down, choked out... and if you've never done so or you've never believed in your entire life before, why not utter a little prayer in Jesus' name (even if you can't bring yourself to the point of belief) and ask that He'll see you through this season in life? After all... He's the only one who promised in His Word of a reply to prayers. Hur.

;)

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Intercession is defined in dictionary.com as:

1. an act or instance of interceding.
2. an interposing or pleading on behalf of another person.
3. a prayer to God on behalf of another.

Mark invited one of his dear brothers from Campus Crusade from NUS days to speak at the senior WEB meeting this morning with regards to intercessory prayer.

People intercede because those whom they pray for may not exactly have the ability to pray for themselves (Pre-believers, brothers and sisters who're hurting, who're deliberately running away, etc). They then stand in the gap in mediation, praying for healing, reconciliation, forgiveness...

One of the mark of an intercessor is patience.

And I realised that when it comes to seeing the people around me coming to know Him, my patience is way off the mark.

And the scary thing is whilst I gave a 10/10 score of trusting God in the sermon the day before... I realised that this is an area where I struggle to trust Him in - sometimes it just hurts to see how loved ones around me close themselves up to the message of the gospel, either rejecting it outrightly or simply being apathetic about it.

That I may be found faithful in this area.

It's been a long time since I've been moved to the point of tears in the midst of praying.

But it happened today as I prayed for certain individuals... and places.

Even if I won't live to see it this lifetime... even if all these praying doesn't translate to results that I can readily see... let me be faithful to stand in the gap constantly... and trust that one day they'll see... and believe.

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I almost teared when I wrote the last paragraph. Hur. :')

He's supposed to write his own school testimonial... but I suppose nothing beats having it written by someone else who knows him. Self appraisal's always hard. Haha... and as I typed out the facts which he sent me (the awards, achievements and all), I couldn't help but feel proud of this brother of mine. You know what brother... You are really well rounded, well loved... :) And though this can't be placed inside, you have a lot of things to count as lost... compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Him, which I know is of utmost importance in that heart of yours, which is hard to find given your age. Haha brother brother... for all the struggles, huge smiles, tears, pokes... cheers. You've been a wonderful didi. Rock on dude. Remember... jia you. Tuhan cinta anda... very very much. :)

5 exemplified himself as a true ----ian throughout his years as a student in ----- who strove for excellence in all his endeavours, bringing glory to his school and nation in the many activities and competitions that he undertook in his name.

As an initiated, enthusiastic and naturally charismatic leader, 5 consistently contributed to the student leadership body first as a class chairman and then as a class councilor in his lower secondary years. He joined the student council as a junior executive of community service in 2005 and subsequently served in the EXCO of Humanitarian Resource in 2006, in which he helped organized numerous fund raising events and bazaars, participating actively in the collection of old clothes and newspapers. In 2007, as a council senior, 5 took on an empowering role as a student mentor where he was given the opportunity to mentor his fellow juniors. His eagerness and earnestness to serve his fellow peers, topped with his good vocals, became the ingredients that got him voted as the ----ian idol in 2005.

5 also left significant marks in the school's arts scene, especially in the areas of drama and band. He was actively involved in two of the school's public drama performances, "Cinderalla" in 2004 and "Beauty and the Beast" in 2006. As a percussionist in the band, 5 contributed in the school’s achievement of a silver medal at the SYF central judging of display bands in 2004; he had also participated in numerous public performances with the band like the school's 45th Anniversary Dinner and Chingay @ Jurong, both held in 2005. As a passionate youth with a passion for singing, 5 came in champions in the YEAH! Awards (Youth Excellence Awards in the Heartlands) orgnanised by Southwest CDC in 2006 and was given the opportunity to write and record a theme song for the organization.

5's contributions for the school in the sporting arena was equally if not more stellar. As an active rower, 5 took part in numerous rowing competitions both on the national and international level, winning and bringing glory both to the school and to the nation of Singapore. One of his highlights in this area was when he came in 1st in Southeast Asia in the Asian Juniors Rowing Championships in 2006. In competitions where he had to pit himself against competitors much older than him, 5 shone through and achieved runners up positions amidst tough oppositions. In the most recent school track and field meet, 5 proved himself as a runner as well, winning a gold medal in the 'B' division boys 4 x 400m relay.

In spite of him being heavily involved in the various areas, 5 never did lose sight of the importance of success in his studies. He scored a total of 7 points in his N-level exams in 2006 with two distinctions and was offered the opportunity to take his O-levels. As a student with an inclination to the field of mathematics, 5 had been offered to take additional mathematics since his upper secondary years and has taken part in various competitions like the Australian Math Competition for the Westpac Awards and the Singapore Mathematical Olympiads. Another highlight for 5 in his academic area would be his participation in the Raffles (Junior College) Model United Nations Conference.

5 was a student who redefined the word 'determination'; he refused to let the seemingly existing limitations that were imposed on him physically and mentally get the better of him but instead pressed on through his years in the school to become who he eventually was in the end upon graduation – a fine young gentleman who had excelled in all areas, well respected and loved both by his teachers and peers. With this strong sense of motivation and his determination to do well, there is no reason why 5 should not achieve success in whatever future endeavours he chooses to undertake. We therefore take pleasure in recommending him for further education and future employment in positions of leadership, trust and responsibility.

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Reservist's over! :) Went back to camp to clean weapon... cleared the bunks as bunk i/c... assembled together for the last time before we scanned our passes and transformed back into civilians once again. Hahaha. :)

Wanted to return home for a rest initially before meeting a very dear brother for dinner in town... then found out that 7, 5 and Rachel were meeting in town to study. So... I ended up in town with my uniform, which turned out to be quite a stuffy experience. :| Haha... thought I'd drop by since I've not exactly hung out with them for some time. Had lunch, adjourned to the cafe on the second level of Cineleisure - spent some time to read my book there. Then I did one of my favourite activities - walking!! Haha... Rachel was looking at me in disbelief when I told her I'm walking to Suntec... Hahaha. Which I eventually did. Detoured to Bras Basah to get my guitar wire cutter. Walked some more... then met dear brother for our quarterly catch up.

It was once again a great catch up. :) It's amazing I must say... to think that we can talk about different topics as and when our life phases change. There was once we majored on relationships, then once on ministry, once on calling... this time round much of the conversation was focused on the teaching profession. Haha... I guess we'll have more to talk about with regards to that in the future. ;P

(my needs)

Was chatting with Char and we were talking about fulfilling needs... and it dawned on me once again that I really have trouble identifying and articulating my needs. So I asked her. And her analysis was so spot on:

haha i think u need .. space, freedom .. understanding :)

*sayang when it's been a draining day

Then I wondered why I didn't know how to articulate them...

hur maybe cos no one ever really stopped to ask or listen

so overtime u just suppressed them .. or even forgot they were there

Then I told her she's just like my "Aaron"... hur hur.

I love my dear dear! :P

(I'm not worried...)

but I'm just concerned I guess. About you not being followed up and left by yourself. About you not being discipled... not taking the initiative as well. Well. In a way this situation "forces" me to get down to pray more often for you... hoping that indeed the book will not go to waste, that His Holy Spirit will guide you, that He'll send you fellow peers who will be a source of encouragement to you in this walk, that as you grow in Him He'll do His work in and through you and I'll be able to witness a life transformed, but more importantly, that I'll be able to see a brother living life joyfully, having a satisfying relationship with Him and eventually becoming a messenger of His love and grace by the way you live.

Well. In the end I'll have to trust that all's in His good hands. :)

Alrights. Time to take a shower and have a GOOD rest. Hahaha... :)

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Just left with the cleaning of the weapon later on in the morning... hur. :)

It's been a rather enjoyable reservist training except for the part about me falling ill in the midst of it. Oh well. But yeah - thank God for sustaining me through the longest day of the training - the actual live shooting itself. Woke up in camp at give in the morning today, had breakfast, drew arm, and off we went to the Nee Soon Camp live range (sounds far right. but my camp is in Nee Soon Camp itself. So it's like less than 5 minutes of a three-tonner ride. hahahaha...). People usually bring a book to read or sleep during live range because of the long waits in between your personal shoots... didn't have to bring any this time round because I'd been appointed as one of the safety specialists - when I'm not shooting, I would be in one of the chambers assisting the safety officer, making sure the shootings were done properly.

Thank God I had no IA (immediate action, basically known as errors) in my shooting - all my rounds went out smoothly.

Well. Except not all my rounds found the targets lar. Hahaha...

Not too bad for day shoot - 12 out of 15 bullets. Night shoot was terribly - barely made the mark - 8 out of 15.

I actually started wondering why I never had the interest in air rifle back in secondary school days. :|

Haha... shooting can be quite satisfying when you hit the mark - I guess I'd always held on to a wrong impression of the sport itself. Too bad I'll never have a chance at it anymore... and no. Live shooting is never the same with those arcade stuff. And of course... it's not about shooting people or monsters for that matter. Hahaha...

And woooooo... our company did pretty okay and sustained minimal reshoots. That translated to us being able to finish relatively early ... and that's why I'm here at home typing this post! :P Headed back to camp from the range at about ten. Lots of admin to do - sending of arms, waiting for clearance... we were eventually let off at 11:20pm.

Fast walked to the bus stop outside camp, hoping and hoping for any of the buses to show up. One of them eventually did; boarded it, alighted three stops later, crossed the road and hoped and hoped and prayed that I hadn't missed the last bus back home.

Papa very good. :P

I was like no. No need to take cab. Because bus will come. It will. Then ten minutes went past the scheduled last bus timing. No, I'm sure He'll send one coming so I can smile and thank Him profusely on the bus.

Which I did. Hahahahahahaha...

There're just so many things to give thanks for.

I've never felt so excited about work... am meeting my boss soon for a discussion with regards to my eventual permanent jobscope. Wrote him a pretty long email for a little processing through first... he replied asking me to choose areas in which I will like to focus and grow in.

Let's just say that my requests are pretty specific... and if they ever come to pass, I'll be jumping for joy. Really. Haha... crazy right. Fancy rejoicing over work, not that it's going to be a well paying job.

Maybe that's what a calling feels like.

:)

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It happened in my previous in camp training... and it happened again. I'm down with flu. :( I wonder if it's some psychological thing, or if it's due to the environment, the helmet sbo and what nots... but yeah. But true to the previous round, I'm not going to succumb - shall complete the in camp with gleeee. Hahahaha....

Training ended about 4-ish today... came back to rest a while before returning to camp to stay overnight - the program starts at 5-ish in the morning tomorrow. Live range - day and night. Yeah - rifles MUST remain in the rifle range only. Hahaha...

Today we went for IMT training - an arcade-style simulator of the actual shoot. Not bad... hopefully can aim for a marksmanship badge in the actual shoot tomorrow. :P Thank God the flu didn't disrupt the aiming... I was feeling a little weak and hungry throughout though. :| Shall book in later and have a good rest... and hopefully I'll wake up feeling absolutely alright. Hmmm.. pray for me, alright? :)

He opens doors that no one can shut... and shuts those that no one can open.

I was wondering while walking home... why I never seem to be too stressed with all the situations that are happening around me.

Then I realised partly the reason why.

I'm not seeking for what I want. It's a struggle that I've been having... sometimes not really knowing whether certain desires that I have belong to me or Him. But He's spoken through the show yesterday night. And all that I'm called to... is to trust in Him.

Sometimes people see Christianity as simply a religion - you get to heaven, have eternal life once you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Full stop.

That is like crossing the starting line and immediately sitting down on the road.

No chance to enjoy the passing breeze as you run.

No chance to enjoy the adrenaline pumping.

No chance to see Him bring you through all those obstructions - physical, mental, etc.

No chance to run alongside fellow runners, to encourage and spur one another on in this race.

Hahaha...

And yah. Not forgetting that they block others from the start. hur hur hur.

That's why we must all spur one another on to run this race yes. :)

A relationship with God is that fulfilling... if you're willing to have the faith enough to take the initial baby steps.

:)

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I know I'm slow... Knew about this movie some time back but I never got to watch it in its fullness in one sitting till tonight.

My heart was tremendously moved in one particular portion. I think it was there where He hit me hard.

Real hard.

I had to keep the tears from Char... but aiyah. I guess she sensed it anyways. Haha...

I think in my heart I've been unconsciously running away. It's either "It's impossible for that to happen"... or "not me God... not me". And now I wonder why those statements sounded so familiar.

Haha...

Sorry Pa... and... thank You. :)

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Not bad... not bad. We were done with what we had to finish... and we're let off by 2pm. NOT BAD AT ALL. Hahaha... Got to be back in camp tomorrow by 7am for IPPT though. Will be a miracle should I pass... Hahaha. XP

Exercise a bit... rest a bit... read a bit... then it's a tuesday evening with Char before heading back for an early night.

Deardear's cooking ratatouille! Hahaha...

Very frivolous entry I know. :D

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Lalala... 'tis a low key in camp training - got to stay out most of the days except for Wednesday; we're setting out early on Thursday, that's why.

It's nice to see familiar faces... and I must say that I'm thankful that I'm placed in a sub-unit small enough for both the officers and men to know one another. :)

We had rifle technical handling test today... and I realised that I still have performance anxiety syndrome - almost fumbled during the weapon stripping and assembling portions. :| But yeah... eventually pulled through. :)

Four more days! XD

(vibes)

In psychoanalysis, there is this term called transference in which a person perceives the other based on his or her previous encounters with others with similar "makeups".

I find myself doing that and banding certain youths based on my encounters with them and matching them to previous encounters with others.

Sometimes I know that certain thoughts are really unfounded... but you just get that helpless feeling nonetheless, knowing the possibilities of them journeying down certain directions that they may not even be aware of themselves. Not that these directions are entirely bad... but still, it boils down to the age-old tension between the you-have-to-go-through-it-to-learn versus the you-can-do-away-with-them... Haha. Either way, I guess I'll just have to trust in God's sovereignty over each of their lives... even though they have yet to be reconciled... even though they'll never know that I'm praying for them.

It's really difficult to put certain things across... especially when I'm a guy and saying it out can make it sound totally off and wrong... but, yeah.

老师爱你们。

And ultimately... I guess it's a matter of trusting that they'll be fine eventually bah. :)

Alright I guess I should get some sleep before heading back to camp again in the morning. Till then. :)

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I'll be off in a couple of hours for my second in camp training... this time for a week. Range this time round - live firing. Now... the last time I ever handled a live weapon was six years ago. Hmmm... Hahaha. If all goes well I should be able to stay out for most of the days except for one of the evenings when there's night firing. Friday will come sooner than I think... I hope. Haha. :)

This morning in senior WEB meeting, Markudesu shared about his experiences from his spiritual retreats at a particular hill in malaysia... we eventually prayed through the scriptures, the Lord's Prayer.

It was a particularly refreshing time for myself - I was reminded of many of His promises in His Word in the midst of praying in a small group, reminded of His faithfulness through all seasons in life.

Then we had the senior webbers (youth peer leaders) training where we continued sharing about our lifemaps. Sue led us to think of a title of our book should our lives be written into one, the name of the chapter we're currently writing and the chapter that is to come. Presenting my book.... (Hahaha... I think I will continue to edit this from time to time, but this is currently how it looks like):

Title: Galvanized By God (A Life, That Is)

Current Chapter: Back To School
Haha... Both in the work sense and study wise. It's really a great feeling to know that the time has most probably come for me to take on a permstaff role back at my alma mater soon... I know this may sound really stupid to a lot of people, but I do get energized at the prospect of interacting with the students, even though it can be quite energy seeping most of the time. :) Study wise, I have officially embarked on my next course of studies towards an eventual Masters in Professional Counselling.

Next Chapter: Preparations
Hur hur hur. (:

I think I should get myself a good shower and do some necessary preparations before catching a little sleep... booking into camp in less than 8 hours!!! Till then!

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"Hey sorry for not giving you a teachers day present yet. Cant find something suitable for you. Do you want something like hair gel or an ipod or fashionstuff or cute plushies or a bag or a shopping voucher or a new intel processor... or a book or a consolegame like command n conquer 3 or ghost recon 4 or burnout 5 dominator or something not in this pile of junk listed here? XD take your time to choose."