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Sing with me, how great is our God...
and all will sing how great,
how great... is our God...

Today God reminded me through this song of His greatness in the midst of youth service... that in the light of this greatness, the issues that I face are so, so miniscule.

I was about to leave for the awards dinner the day before when my eyes came across the little black book that's been sitting in the shelf for a long time, untouched. I took it down and placed it inside my bag and brought it along. Took it out on the bus and started reading the things I wrote in it since 2003. On and off I would jot down written notes to Him... and I must say, reading them once again helped put things in perspective once again.

There are issues in my life that are long standing. On certain days and periods of time I experience a close and intimate walk with Him.. yet there are times when everything lapses and happens all over again. I know it sounds generic and most of us face this in a way or two in our own journey with Pa regardless of the issue, but for me, there were days where I didn't even feel ashame or guilty for the way I was... well. Talk about His faithfulness. Big time. Reading those little nibblets in the booklet, those written pleas for help from on high... ah, those moments of desperations.

I didn't like the way I was... I really didn't. And that's really His saving grace for me, to know that what was me was really unacceptable. Family issues aside, it has really been a tough personal journey for myself... and everytime I think of the times when I had those mumbo jumbo feelings of inadequacies and insecurities as a result of the untendered roots, I give thanks to see how He's brought me so far. So very far.

The sharing of my ThinkQuest journey at the awards dinner meant a big deal to me. The fact that the audience laughed along, the fact that the senior management of Oracle came by and noted that they were inspired by the sharing, the fact that the MD passed me his card and asked me to contact him... one may contend that all these are part and parcel of training and natural growth, but deep down I know that if it's not for how He's helped ironed out the many things in my life the past many years, I would not have been able to learn how to step out of my comfort zones.

Today I helped facilitated the senior WEBs sharing time. Erika shared on how God has been moulding her through the past few years in her walk with Him, how He's helped her through the many down moments of her life and how He's ever faithful.

One application and observation I made to her at the dry run was that in the midst of the issues, she had been faithful as well as to turn to God and not run away from Him as a result of the issues.

But the ironic thing... is that it's actually Him who keeps us faithful. It's in His faithfulness that we can be faithful... because He wills it so. (Ah sorry if this sounds a bit messy) And so for me to be walking thus far... it's not out of my own merit as to how much I want to be with Him or how much I want to know Him, but it's by His grace that He's allowed me to be prompted and moved towards that direction.

How great... how great. :)

Saw the way He touched 5 once again in the midst of the service... saw the faithfuless He has for 6 for his attendence in service once again... and how He's helped 7 through his papers and allowed him to obtain the highest score for his econs paper (woots! hehe)

And yeah. Char and I were supposed to attend a chill out session in the evening after the service but it was called off last minute. Ended up having dinner with the youths and spending some time with them at the yellow tables playing Cranium.

And you know what. It's been some time since I've felt that carefree with them... the fun at the kopitiam, the laughters while playing the game. I laughed till I teared when the answer to Char's charade was revealed. We are all thinking that she was referring to jelly... it turned out to be tofu. Hahaha... and 5's energizer bunny... HAIYOH. Hahaha...

Maybe I'll invest in a game of cranium and play it from time to time with my students next time. They should love the game. Hahaha... ;)

Everytime whenever I start to reflect on how He's led me through time after time, it always boils down to just one word.

Thankful.

:)

The splendour of a king
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
Let all the earth rejoice

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God...