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Yesterday evening marked the last Remedial Training (RT) at Kathib Camp before the last IPPT (Individual Physical Proficiency Test) this coming Thursday evening. It's weird I know... but I just about got the hang of going by that place after the past two months of heading there twice to thrice a week, not to mention that it was only the past week or so that I dared stay back a bit after training to utilize the gym facilities. Oh wells. :)

RT has been fun actually... and I guess it's the only place where I can consistently come in first in all the runs, be it camp runs, track runs... and it's so weird today. I caught up all the way to the first runner and paced behind him... and then decided not to overtake him. Hur hur.

The most satisfying thing... is the vast improvement in my pull ups. From a zero fighter to doing about seven. :)

Still, I face technique problems when it comes to standing broad jump and shuttle run. And unless I really do something about them in the months to come, I forsee myself heading back to the same place again each year.... which isn't exactly a very bad thing. :P

Everytime I hand my 11B (army identification card) over the counter for in-processing, when I see that 18-year old 90kg mugshot and looking at where I am right now... it's still something quite unbelievable. There is just that little tinge of regret, that perhaps if I hadn't been so overweight in the past, I may not need to have that much trouble trying to put off the fats right now. Slow and steady bah. :)

Went to Char's house for a few more episodes of My Sassy Girl... she hasn't been all that well lately and yet she insisted on making gyozas from the ground up... I melt. Hur hur hur. Seriously, home cooked dinner and a nice show together with your loved one at home... it somehow has an amazing therapeutic effect that seems to ease off all that clings on for that moment. :)

I need prayers... loads of it for the next two months. Because there'll be a lot of things I know I can't do without His help. A lot of things that I'll wish I'll never have to do but I know I'll have to because they're responsibilities... they may not exactly entirely be my responsibilities... but I know I'll have to take them up anyway. And funnily through all these, I actually appreciate my maternal eldest uncle a little bit more, gaining first hand insight as to the responsibilities and the things that he had to do as the eldest son of his family.

Sometimes I wonder if it's fair... whereas most of my peers are busy pursuing their careers and relationships, here I am with pretty huge stuff upon my shoulders... and perhaps I wouldn't feel that bad sometimes if the rest can actually do their parts by living below means... it's just ironic that the one that bears most of it isn't the one with the issues but is the one trying hard to live below means.

But yeah. It's true that circumstances cause people to learn to be strong ya. And it's true that through these times I have come to appreciate God so much more for being my ever present help and Counsellor... and Char, who's been such a great support. :)

This has got to be the first December that I actually dread going through (besides dear Markudesu and Sue's wedding... haha)... yet at the same time there is this certain restedness within to know that everything will be fine.

Still.

Well. Tough times don't last... tough people do yes. Please pray that He will make this boy tough.

Sometimes satan sows the lie that nobody cares which I know to be false and yet still fall into the trap of feeling the way.

Well. :)

Things to look forward to: Dinner with Char and a few more episodes tomorrow (heh heh), lunches with some of my students, recording some demos, studio recording of the unrecorded songs... and most of all, His Presence, whenever He chooses to manifest it so tangibly.

And ya... Hahaha.. moving home. Without all the hassle of shifting, paper work, maid transfer procedures, yadda, yadda. Haha.

Why can't I be a kid a little while longer mah. Bleaaaah. :|

Hahahahahahaha.

You can my son. In me you'll always be that little kid. You know I'll see you through the next two months don't you? A little more trust... with all your heart, kiddo? ;)

Okay. You got to help me okay?

I am love. Whoever lives in love lives in Me, and I in him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment... Love never fails.

I have to confess that even with Your track record of Your unfailing love in my life over the past years, there's always the tinge of uncertainty...

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Okay I'll trust.

With all your heart. Lean not on your own understand. In all your ways acknowledge Me... I'll make your paths straight.

I'm sorry I hadn't been drawing close. :|

Seek me while I may be found; call on me while I am near...

Thank You so much. This is undeserving. :)

*smiles*