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You guys may think that it's for fun... but little will you know that this has actually become one of the better highlights of the year for myself personally.

*smiles*

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Courtesy of a friend made not so long ago. ;)

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND
McFly

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud, yeah
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yes I will
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh yeah, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will.

You've got a friend
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again (oh baby don't you know)
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
Lord, I'll be there yes I will.
You've got a friend

Oh, you've got a friend.
Aint it good to know you've got a friend.
Aint it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

And you know what. Pa sings that song to us again... and again... and again.

:)

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Came back from MarkudeSue's wedding at about 3ish... and I slept till 7 this morning. That makes 15 hours of sleep. Hur.

Sorry for missing the dinner dear bro and sis... but I guess I really needed the rest after a week of erratic working hours and not sleeping the night before the wedding. :P

Yeah. Am feeling a little better though. A little bit more recharged. :) It's interesting though yesterday. Thankful for the privilege of being a brother... the morning door breaking was interesting. The brothers were asked to do quite a number of silly things before Mark finally got to meet Sue... Hahaha but yea, worth it la. See the couple so happy. :)

Perhaps it's due to my fatigue or something... I started taking photos with a lot of the youths one by one a la graduation night style. I guess I realised that over the years of taking photos for them, I never really have much photos taken with them. So... yeah. Thankful that now I have photos taken with quite a number of them, especially the really dear ones... most of them were there cept for a few... and of course one now happily still holidaying in the States (if you ever read this... you don't know how much you're loved and cherished. ;))

In the midst of my photo taking frenzy, I got to take some with those whom I seldom or never communicate with... like Ezra, Daniel and Jiayi. Guess they must had been taken aback... Hahaha especially Jiayi, who was surprised that I know his name. Well... this is a part of my introversion that I really don't like. I guess Pa made use of my photo taking frenzy to break some ice. :P

Fact is, I do take notice of newcomers, of their names, etc and I'll definitely love to know each of them. I know it's bad for a leader, but there's always this great inertia to overcome within me. Ohhhh welllll. Hahahah.

Anyways... this means lots of photos coming up. :)

Dear will be having her membership acceptance today... It's been such a journey. :) :)

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Another point in time I have a better idea why Pa gave me faith as my top spiritual gift.

For without it, it is impossible to please Pa.

For without it, it is impossible for me to steer through this period of time.

I think I'm starting to gain a fair share of empathizers and symphathizers at my workplace who've seen the workload that I'm taking.

What they do not see is how much I'm being paid.

I'm at the lowest scale. Hur.

All the more I am to trust that Pa will provide and all these efforts will not go to waste.

:)

Thankful for the catching up with my quarterly catchup brother the night before. Thankful for the catch up dinner with 2 later on. Thankful... for my dear dear who's been so selflessly standing by me through this impossible period. Haven't been able to spend as much time as wanted and even though it's understandable, still... and as one colleague had candidly noted... that the real things haven't kicked in yet. I don't know... I can only keep on trusting.

Wanted to write Christmas notes and do up FriendMarks but ideas such as these had to be shelved... wanted to unpack my room totally and stick those photos on the walls again... but they had to be shelved.

And now a physical headache's kicking in.

Aye. The devil sure knows how to play.

I shall not be moved. But I'll appreciate all the prayers you can help lift up for me. Thanks. :)

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School reopening hasn't been so hectic and rushed before.

Not even as a student in the past when I had to rush homework.

HAIYOHH!

As a student, I go to school, receive my timetable and go to my class.

I would have never imagined all the big messes that went behind the scenes... especially a week before school reopens.

HAIYOHHH... (resigned)

Hahahhaha... *laughing at myself*

But you know what.

I can still smile.

Because of the hope that turned to reality.

Because I can still see them in an official capacity.

:)

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From "Freedom in Christ" Ministries:

"Understanding your identity in Christ is absolutely essential to your success at living the victorious Christian life."

If you are a Christian, then what is below is true of you. If you are not a Christian, click here...

WHO I AM IN CHRIST

I am accepted...

• I am God's child. (John 1:12)
  
• As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. (John 15:15)
  
• I have been justified. (Romans 5:1)
  
• I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:17)
  
• I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
  
• I am a member of Christ's body. (1 Corinthians 12:27)
  
• I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. (Ephesians 1:3-8)
  
• I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. (Colossians 1:13-14)
  
• I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:9-10)
  
• I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. (Hebrews 4:14-16)
  

• I am free from condemnation.(Romans 8:1-2)
  
• I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. (Romans 8:28)
  
• I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. (Romans 8:31-39)
  
• I have been established, anointed and sealed by God. (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)
  
• I am hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:1-4)
  
• I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. (Philippians 1:6)
  
• I am a citizen of heaven. (Philippians 3:20)
  
• I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
  
• I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)
  

• I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life. (John 15:5)
  
• I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. (John 15:16)
  
• I am God's temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
  
• I am a minister of reconciliation for God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)
  
• I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. (Ephesians 2:6)
  
• I am God's workmanship. (Ephesians 2:10)
  
• I may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:12)
  
• I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
  

"The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity!"
(From Victory Over the Darkness , by Dr. Neil Anderson)

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Is there a difference between a Ho ho ho Merry Christmas and a Blessed Christmas?

One's momentary and usually comes once a year on this side of the earth... and the other lasts till eternity. :)

I grew up pretty sanitized in the belief of rudolf the rednose reindeer and Santa climbing down chimneys on Christmas day delivering goodies to children... well. Can't think otherwise when all that's shown on television tells you that yea? Haha... and even adults, they keep on talking about that - and Christmas is usually a time when as a child you'll receive gifts, big or small.

It wasn't until many years later when I realised the significance of Christmas day as a non Christian... that it's actually a day to remember the birth of Jesus Christ. It isn't so much of apathy, but as a none Christian, it's hard to think that Jesus' birth has anything to do with oneself.

It actually has everything to do with everyone of us. Me... you.

Simply put, Jesus had to be born because of us.

Man is created, fashioned in God's image, to have an intimate relationship and walk with God Himself, the Creator.

Because of sin, that relationship was severed.

Because of love for His beloved children, He sent His only begotten Son to earth.

He came as a child born of virgin Mary in a manger. Lived a sinless life, grew up to an adult so he could experience all that man goes through.

He started preaching and healing people in those days and pointed people towards God the Father, rebuking the learned of their religiosity and rituals meant only for outward display.

He was eventually nailed to a Cross for our sins. He could have chosen not to but that was the very purpose He came to earth for.

He came to die... He came to die for us. Me... you.

He came as the ultimate sacrifice, the innocent lamb who knew no sin, given up for our sake.

And three days later, Jesus resurrected, signifying the victory over death.

His sacrifice and resurrection provided us a way back to the personal relationship each of us is able to have with God.

John 3:16 says:

For God so loved the world [The Greatest Love]
that He gave His only Son [The Greatest Gift]
that whosoever believes in Him [The Greatest Invitation]
shall not perish but have eternal life. [The Greatest Promise]

God extends this greatest Gift to you whole year round... Christmas is but a remembrance of the coming of this Gift.

It's a gift that those who've truly received will say that they won't want anything better... because there can be nothing else better.

And faith is what it'll take to believe.

Between a diamond and a bottle of mineral water, most will most probably go for the diamond.

Ask a dehydrated man who's thirsting for a drop of water in the sahara desert... the answer may be otherwise.

It all depends on your greatest need.

If your greatest need is to be the richest man on earth, then you'll work till you drop. If your greatest need is to live a fulfilling life and relish in the greatest relationship you can ever find... :)

In a Christmas musical I went to today, there's this scene where this girl was telling her father about Jesus Christ. Her dad wasn't really interested and didn't quite understand. The little girl's remark was quite candid - "I understood the first time I heard it..."

Faith like a child's.

:)

Have a blessed Christmas my dear friends. :)

Jesus, He loves me
Jesus, He loves me
More than anyone this world can give
He pardoned me my sins
Jesus, He loves me
Jesus, He loves me
For the sinner's sake to earth He came
Not to judge but seek and save...

Oh yah. Santa Claus is a myth. Jesus Christ's real, documented in history, both secular and on secular history. I guess it'll take more faith calling out to Santa and expecting a reply than calling out to Jesus. ;)

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I've been working the whole morning and afternoon on the new portal for my boys in the coming year... then the server decided to take a break - for how long I know not... but I guess this makes a good time to put some reflections (thank You Pa for the time!!!! Okay I know this sounds a bit sad... but I'm really thankful for the moments to do some reflections here and there in the midst of this impossible period) in writing. :)

25th December this year marks my 7th CHRISTmas.

And as the year draws to a close, I'm captured once again by His unfailing love.

The unfailing love that saves... redeems... and gives hope for the future.

I was asking 5 one day if he'd believe me if I told him that I've always been a person of low self esteem and confidence.

He refused to believe me.

Well... fact is I am. I don't really know how acquaintances and friends see me... and if I am to be my own critic, all I'll see are flaws... jarring and ugly flaws.

Yet I'm reminded that I'll never be perfect on this side of eternity. But there's hope that I'll be like Him one day... till that day comes.

Sometimes it's just so easy to settle into melancholy and swim around the waters of self depreciation and resignation. Lest I forget... that He's my unfailing love.

This journey with God has been nothing short of amazing. There are many verses in the Psalms that point to God's enduring love and faithfulness, lasting through generations upon generations, etc. Most of us will usually keep those in our hearts as promises and reminders that His love and faithfulness will be there.

But you know what? What's sweeter than that... is to find just that for yourself as you look back.

He's there when you've yet come to know Him.

He's there rejoicing with you when you first acknowledge Him as your Lord and Saviour.

He's there in your happy moments... sad times...

He's there even in times of your rebellion and sinning.

He's there when you touched base with Him again in the midst of church camps and encounter weekends.

He's still there when your longing for Him wore off.

He's there in the midst of all your business.

He's always there to receive you with open arms... no matter how long it'll take.

Unfailing love.

There when you made promises not to sin again.

There when you broke them the very next day.

There when you feel bad.

There when you cry out to Him again.

Always there.

There when you found faith so complex an issue to tackle with.

There when you don't feel the need to acknowledge Him.

And it is this unfailing love that I've come to trust in Him and His timing.

Because His unfailing love tells me that He will make everything beautiful in His timing.

One day I'll see Him face to face.

One day they'll come to know Him too and engage in an intimate and personal relationship with Him void of religiosity.

Highlights and Thanksgivings for 2007:

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Half a day's work flushed down the drain.

I requested for the files on the server to be deleted completely... it was done so. And then I uploaded the new version and worked on it.

Some time later I received a call in the office. I was told that the server was flushed again... accidentally.

LA LA LA. Hahaha... As a student, I would never have known all the complications and complexities that fly around before school starts. Hahaha...

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After two and half years or so... I'm finally back in my own room. The all familiar maroon and beige combinations, the wooden ikea wall shelves... :)

It's another headache trying to unpack though... especially when you know you have tonnes of work to complete. I've been having serious memory lapses due to the lack of sleep and the physical exertions - Char can attest to my lag-ness in response and my forgetfullness. :|

But yeah. Thankful now that EVERYTHING's shifted over. :) And my home computer's set up with internet connection... that my bed's cleared to make space for working on my laptop. Must learn to juggle between unpacking bits here and there while continuing with work.

Came up with the logo for next year's church camp... thank God it went through! :) Now sourcing for printers to do up the shirts... one project half down. Spent the entire day finishing up with major amendments to one of my other projects... will be spending the whole of tomorrow's morning and afternoon in school meeting project groups and working on school stuff before meeting the kakis for dinner - it's been a long time since we've met together as a group. :)

Looking forward also to the two catching up meals next week, one with KelTan and the other with 2. ;)

Pray for sustenance... faith... and strength. 2008 is a year which I know I'll be forced to step out of my comfort zones in many ways.

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Haha... I did a collage of my family's baptism and wanted to upload it... only to find that I'd already done so previously and named it the same way I just did. Haha well. Since I've already done it again so might as well put up a new version. :)

Today I witnessed Christina's baptism alongside Char and the rest of the discipleship and cell group members. She's a dear sister in Christ who's gone the distance... we're from the same founding cellgroup seven years ago when the young people's ministry was at its infancy stage... gosh. It's been long. :)

Thoughts and memories flooded back as I sat through the baptism service... especially when the lady from the chinese ministry was giving her testimony, reading off her script. I remembered how mom gave glory and praise to God so naturally on stage that day seven years ago, how He'd so miraculously caused Dori's cancerous cells to drop to 0% a day before our postponed baptism, how He's led our entirely family into His family... cliche as it sounds, life really hasn't been the same ever since the commitment was made to follow Jesus.

It's not so much of the forsaken television time on Sundays... or the opportunities to feed the tortoises and eat free vegeterian bee hoon whenever we visited temples in the past to ask for protection and blessings... or wear shirts with red seal chops on their back. Hur. :)

Saying this for the millionth and one-th time (haha...) - I really can't imagine how life will be without Pa in my life now. Sure, there were many days of rebellion against Him, many days when I would simply while away time... it's only be His grace that He'd draw me back time and again.

Thank You my good and gracious Lord... my Pa... my best friend. :)

2's elder brother's baptized today as well. Still remember the burden that he once shared with me regarding him... I think 2 must be really glad and happy. :)

Four years. When that day comes... I will want to be there to witness... and Lord willing, that He'll let me be the one alongside the pastor giving you that dunk of your life. Press on, my little brother. ;) Lord willing, let it be even less than four years... :)

Oh yes. I was talking about Jonah in my previous post about how God is a God who pursues... Today when I received the service bulletin, I came across a section where they'll usually place missions sharing. This week, somehow, it had something different.

I didn't go wow or freak out or something... just gave thanks in my heart for how He does His thing all the time, how He affirms the things He speaks, usually in more ways than one. :)

THE GOD WHO PURSUES
John Chambers and building on Christ the foundation

The book of Jonah begins and ends with God talking to Jonah, signifying the presence of God with Jonah. This is an amazing fact because Jonah defies God three times in the narrative, taking the compassion of God for granted, believing that no matter how much he sins, God will forgive him.

Surprisingly, God not only forgives Jonah but uses him mightily. Right in the middle of Jonah's sin, when he is on the boat running away from God, Jonah tells the sailors about God of heaven and earth, and the sailors soon repent. And when Jonah finally reluctantly tells the Ninevites about the coming judgement of God (a specific message God gave to Jonah), the entire city repents, even the king. It wasn't because Jonah had the greatest love - far from that; it was because God was pursuing the people Jonah spoke to, just like He pursued Jonah. Which is the same way that He pursues you and me, and all the people we know.

This Christmas, God is pursuing us. Just like Jonah, God commissions us to go and share glad tidings of a Saviour and Lord. May we make room in our hearts for God to use us as His channels of love to reach out to our lost friends this Christmas season!

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As for yesterday night, mom's officially staying at our new old place. :)

Most things are still in a mess though... packed up and lying around. It's been a week of constant carrying and sweating... I guess that pretty much made up for the lack of my regular exercises this week. Still there's always this urge to put up my running shoes and go for a tour... but I know there are many other things to settle for now. Hopefully by the end of the Christmas party tonight (Char's discipleship group's holding it - MEATBALLS & TURKEY HERE I COME!!!!) we'll be able to shift 99% of the stuff over. Well... we've gotten most of the stuff over for now.

Unpacking will take another couple of days... followed by cleaning. The nagging feeling of not having enough time is still there... I guess it'll always be for this month. Much work to be done in the various places (and I don't mean shifting and unpacking), and it's really hard I must say. Hard to answer to people as well.

It's at these points in time where it'll be meaningful to ponder on verses such as "for the Lord is good and His love endures forever".

There's this nagging question that I've harbored for the past two days after reading Jonah again the day before... the heart of God is for Nineveh to repent and turn towards Him again. He could have appointed another person or prophet to go there after Jonah ran away from his task and sailed for Tarshish instead. He could have spoken directly to the people of Nineveh even.

But He didn't. Why?

He pursued Jonah. As much as His heart is for the people of Nineveh to turn back, His heart is very much set on Jonah as well.

The ultimate end of pursuing God is not enlightenment or nirvana, neither is it eternal life, though the latter's given as one sets his heart to believe and acknowledge Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior.

It's very much the relationship.

There is a reason why one lyricist penned: Knowing You Jesus... knowing You, there is no greater thing... There is a reason why Paul wrote in his epistle to the Church of Philippi that whatever that was to his profit he'd considered lost for the sake of Christ, that he'd considered everything rubbish compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord (paraphrased).

Because it's true. :)

The regretful thing in this world today... is that most probably ninety percent of the Christian population don't exactly understand that. Let alone the world's population.

To those who do... always remember that it's only by His grace that mysteries are made known and understandable... and give thanks unceasingly. :)

And frankly, it is only this relationship that'll keep me from going wayward and constantly guide me to be who I am to be. Slept at 4am and was woken at 8am... groggy and tired the entire day and mostly left to myself. The evil one tried to play around a couple of times today... but He who has the upper hand triumphed.

Almost there? Nah... long way to go. But I'm reminded that every step I take... is a step of faith.

:)

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The meeting with my boss went relatively well... jovial and fruitful. Yay. :) It has to be full steam ahead... but for today I'll have to put in 110% effort in shifting everything over to my own place. Mom's gonna be back at her own place after two years. :)

Just updated the recent batch of Friendmarked orders... Apologies for the lag, have been really busy. Really hope that this project wouldn't go down the road in vain... frankly, I don't exactly know where it'll all lead to, but for as long as the project will last, I pray that He'll use it as a tool to bless others.

The ironic thing is that I find myself not having the time to do personal Friendmarks for my own friends. Wanted to design some just now... but the thought of having all the other pressing work to do at hand... Oh wells.

Halfway through crunchy December... Let faith continue to rise bah.

:)

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Exciting ah!! :)

Dear prayer supporters,

Thank you for praying for us, we have touched down safely in tokyo after a long journey and have settled into our apartments. Here are some prayer updates that you could continue to pray for us for...

1. HEALTH! - some of us have fallen ill, do pray for God's protection. The weather here is COLD.
2. We will start our distribution tml afternoon (14 dec). Pls pray for energy and for receptive hearts of those receiving our cds.
3. Thanks giving! Y? cos we r all here safely. :)
4. Our team will be in charge of two parties. One on the 21 the other on the 22 Dec. Pls pray for our preparation and for God to bring the japanese to come for our parties with an open heart.
5. Pray the in the midst of all the events planned, we will have rest and to continue to walk close with God.
6. That time will be used wisely.
7. God will give us opportunities to make friends with the japanese and open doors for us to share our testimony.

Thank you all once again. Will continue to keep u all updated. God bless! :)

In Him,
Dory~
Prayer Ic for the team... :)

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I shall leave this icy cold conference room once I'm done with this entry. Hehehe. Ayee the thing with centralised air conditioning systems is that you can't really adjust the temperature. T.T The palms of my hands are literally frozen brrr.

Have been working here for the past two days... It's good in a sense that you're able to work without much distractions... still, I didn't get a lot done due to the nature of my faulty intellect and slow engines. Boo. But I just told dear that my heart feels settled. Will have to burn midnight oil tonight to get more substantial stuff done before the meeting tomorrow morning in this room. Mmmm... well. These are the things students don't get to witness, all these background work that can potentially kill.

Had a really good ThinkQuest meeting with one of the college team just now. The cause they're championing, the things they've done prior to the decision to take part in this competition... I just hope that whatever they'll come up with will aid them in the cause... and that we'll see many of the less privileged benefit from it as a result. :)

Alrights... shall go back and hopefully finish more work.

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One more day to to the next planning meeting... three more weeks to its grandiose execution. There were flashing thoughts of doubts here and there these days asking me if it's really worth it. Money wise, this will seem like a really foolish step to take, considering that I'm able to earn the same amount at a more relaxed and less stressful pace sticking to doing design projects.

Well. Then again, I'm reminded that it isn't so much about anything else but the calling that's given. It's still a miracle that I'm where I am right now... ever will be a miracle. And I must say... the only thing that sustains me humanly in this endeavor is the thought of working with them again.

I was given the student listings today. As I looked through the file, I came across many familiar names that brought smiles to my face and lifted my otherwise heavy heart... Haha. Well, guess they'll never know how I'm so looking forward to establishing contact with them again after my brief stint teaching them for a term back in 2006.

If you're entering CSE next year and you're actually reading this right now, chances are that I've come across your name and smiled at the thought of being given the opportunity to know you better for the next two years. ;)

Then again... nah. Don't think anyone of them would actually be reading this. Haha.

As of this writing, Dori's on her way to Nihongoland on a near-month long mission trip. I feel really happy and glad for my little sister that she's finally able to realise part of her dream - the Lord placed in her heart a burden for the people of this land since she was just fifteen. Four years... and here she is on her very first trip with full support raised very much in time. The way she bounced through the departure gate... Hahaha that's really what we call excitement that can't be contained. :P

While waving goodbye to Dori by the departure gate, dear said something that caused a great stirring in my heart. I was telling her hopefully there'll be a chance to fly next November... and she actually said cannot. Because she wouldn't want to be crying at the departure gate.

Just one sentence... and it brought me back to the day... the early morning nine years ago when I was about to leave for Los Angeles for my very first ThinkQuest finals in 1998.

And then I realised how blessed a boy I was... and a man now I am.

To have two women in my life who love me so much... so much.

(poem from 1998)

Etching Tears

Waiting anxiously for the cab, I failed to catch
a glimpse of you.
I neglected how you felt at that
very moment, my heart pounding,
mind blanking out, I really couldn't
think of anything except for the fact
that the cab was late. Damn late.

The cab arrived half an hour late, enraged,
numbness devoured.
I never felt how you felt about me even
when you and I are just side by side
in the taxi bound for Changi.
Silence prevailed in the darkness of dawn,
my only thoughts were but selfish ones:
Would I get there on time or would I be late
and result in the postponement of
my very first departure?

The air con hummed,
breathing artificial air down both of us, spreading
an aura of misty cool around you and me.
Was it my imagination, or did you turn your head
and look at me?

We arrived at the airport right on time,
You paid the fare while I proceeded to
my luggage. I wondered
how you felt when you hand over
the excess denomination to
that driver. He kept refusing
the offer. For if he should accept,
I would be most willing to tear his triceps.

We waited together for the time
for me to pass the gates. Front and back
we paced together, dragging and rolling
the luggage along. We exchanged few words
in that half hour which seemed pretty like forever.

The time came for me to depart.
A tingling sensation unsurpassed,
I rolled the luggage through the gates
And had my passport chopped.
I dared not look back. Unable to restrain,
I turned around and bid my last good byes,
For it would be ten days later when
We would next meet.

There you stood rooted, gentle swells
in your pearly eyes. All seemed clearer
through the thick glass panes. Every inch
of you, from top to toe, the panes reflect.
Your eyes to mine, I see your mind.
Hush now, don't cry.

Emotions within broke through panes
And touched the very kernel of my heart.

Do not weep for I'll not be gone
for too long. Ten days wouldn't make
much of a difference in your life,
would it?

I began to realize
the importance of you, as at
this very moment, I
discovered the insecurity swirling
around me.

I wished I could backtrack
the gates and give you
a hug, a kiss.
An embrace
I
Love
You.

A slight wave of my weakly hand,
I turned back once more
and continued my path to the plane.
The journey seemed so unimportant.
For I missed you.
A hell lot.

Swallowed hard.
Emotions unfurled from within.
I left a stain on a seat
of the United Airlines Economical Class.
On the Twentieth of November.
1998.

For my Mom.

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Just want to sleep for now, wake up early to do some work, then learn to put them aside for the time being and look forward to packing and shifting tomorrow.

Because that aside... I'm really looking forward to the guys coming over to help... and the chilling session... and the photo takings... Dear dear knows me well. :)

Thank you for offering to cook... for initiating this whole session actually... and for coordinating it. x)

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Tomorrow some of my youths are coming over to help in the shifting.

Not if it's raining like today... or for the past few days.

And much time has been spent trying to figure out layout problems, etc - if I don't get the things out by Friday's meeting my head will roll.

Not to mention that we have to complete shifting by Friday as well.

Amidst other things that I should be doing.

And I'm heading off to town now and then to wedding rehearsals for MarkudeSue in the evening... which means the next time I can spend time to work on the site will be very late tonight.

And I'll have to pack the stuffs for shifting tomorrow as well.

H-O-W.

I also don't know.

How now wow brown cow?

Wa kau... wo bu zhi dao.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

Bring me through ah Ah Pa.

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Bugged by 孙子 (!!!) to do this quiz... so, do I shall. Here goes:

List the top 5 presents you want for your birthday:
1. Mom to be fully healed and walking and talking :)
2. Dori to be fully healed :)
3. Everyone to grow in the Lord.
4. Canon Digital SLR
5. Decent MP3 Player (gave mine to Dori)

Answer the following questions ;
The person who tagged me is ;
孙子 Tay Chin Keat

Your relationship with him is ;
He's my 孙子

Your impression of him ;
Thinks a lot. But can think some more so can make more right choices in life. :P

The most memorable thing he did for you;
Still waiting for him to do something memorable for me.

If he become your lover , you will ;
Counsel him.

If he become your lover , what does he need to improve ;
No relevance.

If he become your enemy , you will ;
Counsel him as well.

If he become your enemy , the reason is ;
He won't become my enemy because he is my 孙子. But more to that, I don't think I'll ever keep enemies - very burdensome thing to do. But if he ever sees me as an enemy, it may be because I've spoken too much truth and piercing words into his life (even if it's for his good) that he tak boleh tahan.

Your overrall impression of him ;
孙子. Hahaha.

How do you think the people around think about him ;
Varied responses from what I see.

The character you love yourself ;
None

On the contrary , the character you hate yourself is ;
None

The most ideal person you wanna be;
The One whom I gave my heart, soul and mind to follow. :)

For people who care and like you, say something to them? ;

Thank you for a being a friend... I'll be writing my year end thanksgivings soon, you'll be sure that you're on the list! :)

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TILL I SEE YOU

(Verse 1)
The greatest love that
Anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross
And grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

(Verse 2)
With all I am I live
To see Your Kingdom come
And in my heart I pray
You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

(Chorus)
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

(Verse 3)
You are the voice
That called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my
Heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

(BRIDGE)
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless
Your Name

Words and music by Jad Gillies and Marty Sampson
© 2004 Jadwin Gillies/Marty Sampson/Hillsong Publishing (adm in the U.S. and Canada by Integrity's Hosanna! Music)/ASCAP
CCLI #4455189

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"For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

The only way to ascertain this kind of verse in our lives more than trusting in it as just a promise... is to live out this life and ascertain it for ourselves while trusting it.

One heck of a journey this has been.

I love You Pa. :)

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I guess somewhere deep down I've really longed for younger brothers.

It was an especially moving time in youth camp this afternoon. God broke into many hearts... revealed different things to different ones. Some were convicted of the way they mistreated their parents, some their siblings... and I personally witnessed a really touching scene, so touching it brings you to tears... something that I haven't done so in a long time.

In the midst of response time, I saw this brother who's fifteen this year, usually bubbly a one heck of a joker, placing his hands over a younger brother in Christ and hugging him so lovingly. Some moments later they were both called up to share... He spoke in between chokes, trying to suppress his tears, of how he's always been jealous of his younger brother, yet at the same time how he feels so much for him to see how his younger brother's been so pressed to perform simply because he fares well in his studies... and how sometimes he just closes his room door and cry for him... and the way he professed his love for his younger brother and how his brother hugged and clung unto him.... now that's the kind of work that God does. ;')

Right after that a call was given for siblings to gather to pray for one another... and for those who didn't have siblings present, to find those whom they consider as close as their siblings to pray for one another.

My first initial thought was that Dori wasn't there at the camp... then I shifted my focus towards this brother on stage (doing backup vocals) whom I consider my sibling. Sounds a bit drama I know, but just as I was preparing to make my way up there to pray for him, the next moment I knew, he'd put down his mike, came down the stage and ran towards my direction (I was at the back)... it was kind of a natural instinct to open my arms to receive him.

We both lost our composures... okay la. He lost more. Haha.

You know brother. I think I can account for the disappointment I felt that day when you couldn't help out. Char helped to point it out too... that perhaps because of the familiarity that we have, I've unconsciously placed a certain kind of expectation on you. Well... you rushing to me today... it gave me the affirmation that this brother-hood that we have is mutual. Continue to jia you yes? ;)

Through the years I've learned to allow God to lead when it comes to friendships and relationships in general. True, all relationships take time to build up... but you'll realise in life that there're those whom He brings into your life for the long haul... and somehow, you're just able to 'click' with them right from the start.

Thankful. :)

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Stress is the inward response towards outward circumstances.

Haiyoh... Very stressed.... :[

But thankful for His sustenance. And the bunch of people cheering me on. :)

I was so stressed just now I almost made a wrong evaluation of a situation... thank God He provided wise counsel through dear dear. There's this client that I'm doing a web project (wouldn't have taken it up if it isn't for our tight finances these days... ah well) for... even though the exchange of emails was cordial, I was feeling rather pent up. They required me to follow certain colours exactly and a certain font in accordance to the institution's standards. I told him 100% guarantee confirm chopped that it's Verdana for the body text... he kept on reply that it's Times New Roman.

The bomb came when he told me that he copied the text from the browser unto microsoft word and it showed up as Times New Roman.

:|

Felt really qi gek at that moment. Any text when pasted into word will most probably show up as Times New Roman, the default Ms Word font.

Well... thankful that things got rectified along the way. Almost wanted to give up the project.

Then there's the constant shifting and cleaning to do.

And my work. This is rather unsettling... but thankful I was given some time to read through some templating notes the night before. I guess I won't feel settled until I've gotten some parts of this done soon.

Oh well.

I placed this personal message on my msn: "I need some cheering up..." Thanks to those who responded! Haha... sometimes it's true that certain things don't have to be communicated through many words. I felt really encouraged by one of my students. He only responded with an "Oh.". I asked him "What...?". He replied "... nothing" with a smiley face.

Haha.. thanks dude. ;)

Alright. Shall proceed on... then dinner time with Char before attending one of the sessions in youth camp. Yeah... unable to attend the full length of the camp due to these many commitments. Boo.

Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You... my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...

Ever... and ever.

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Went to the polyclinic today to have my knees checked... well. The advice given by the doctor initially kinda amounted to nothing - I was asked to rest my knee and not to engage myself in running activities anytime soon, etc. I kind of expected this to happen... so I went prepared to ask for a referral. I told her that I do long distance running... Haha. So in the end I was given a referral to NUH sports medicine department. The appointment's in February next year though. :(

Bought a pair of knee guards... shall rest my knees for a week before attempting a jog bah.

Right now... there's just so many things to do - shifting, cleaning, work, projects... I really don't know which ones to do first. All the deadlines are looming. Aye.

Very gian the Singapore Marathon's finisher's t-shirt... hope my knees will be well enough to do it next year bah. :)

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Today I went over and did some major rubbish clearing... vacuumed the floors of the room, mopped them, cleaned the dirty tiles...

Perfect example of good upbringing by a good mama. Hahahaha... but seriously, when I was doing those stuff I thought of the times when mom and I would share the household chores together - I would vacuum and she would do the mopping, she would wash and hang the clothings while I'd take them down when they're dry and fold them.

They'll remain as wonderful memories. :)

Today when I returned and told her how the entire bucket of water turned black when I merely mopped half the room she smiled... Haha... very precious. :)

Shifted the queen sized bed into my room since the master bedroom will converted to house mom and aunty witwit. Was sitting on the bed stoning for a while in my new "old" room, cleaned of dust and all... lacking in all its contents for now.

It's good to be home. :)

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I am reminded that help and concern rendered isn't reciprocable.

Haha... oh well. :)

Melancholy hasn't visited for a while... he came today.

Good that Char is returning from breakthrough weekend in an hour's time. Hur hur hur.

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I whiled away quite a bit of time in front of the computer this evening editing stuff on Facebook, yadda yadda. Installed this Facebook app called "Circle of Friends" which allows you to group your contacts neatly. Created this group called "Brothers and Sisters in Christ" and started clicking on the names to be added to this group.

Altogether I currently have about 10 pages of friends with each page containing about 25 friends I think... not that I've not thought of it before, but this little activity gave me a stark realisation.

Each page I'll have about 80% of my friends selected for the group.

I flipped to and fro and looked at the remaining 20%. Some of them are actually very close to my heart.

Well.

Pray... but sometimes you just can't help but wonder if the time will ever come. I know most of my friends are peers and younger ones... but I dread those kind of days should those kind of things happen... I really do.

If you ever start to seek the meaning of life and the Christian faith... feel free to contact me... okay?

On another note, my circle of friends can be pretty much organised into school friends, work friends, church friends and my students. Haha...

Okay back to room to do some serious packing. Have taken down all the photos and friendmarks... now my wall's left with all the blue tacs. :| Got to scrape them off one by one. :| And silly me gonna put those pictures up again on my own room's wall when all's cleaned up and done. Which means some years down the road I'll have to repeat the process of scraping again. Hahaha...

Please pray for me. I really don't know how I'll be able to survive December... except to trust.

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LCL injury is a stretch, partial tear, or complete tear of the lateral collateral ligament (LCL) of the knee. (The term "lateral" means the ligament is on the outside of the knee.)

I think I should consult a doctor soon. Last Sunday when I ran to the Botanical Gardens I felt a certain numbness halfway through the run in my right knee... it was as though my knee was giving way. The numbness and pain came and went, but I was able to finish the run without much of a problem.

Today I went for my usual run on my usual route.

I started to feel the numbing sensation ten minutes down the run.

Even when I was jogging so slowly the pain was there.

Had to walk the entire route back home in the end. Mmm.

Certainly hope that it's not a permanent thing of sort.

I can't imagine not being able to run anymore.

And I was just telling Char two days ago that I've decided to aim to be a marathoner.

:|