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Today's youth sunday celebrations in church. It's the time of the year when the WEBs (youth ministry) people take over the running of the sunday services.

It's such a joy to see them serving so heartily and joyfully... staying 7 years or so in a youth ministry... it's like going through one full cycle of seeing them grow through their adolescence... but more than the physical growths, it is the way many of them have grown close in their walk with God that gives this joy. :)

Haha... going out for dinner, then it's back to prepare tomorrow's lessons. C++ for possibly the very last time. Hope that these lessons are worth the extra preparations... Hahaha. Stupid right. So much to do and still taking it on. haha...

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I caught the bottomline and roughly understood what it means.

Haha...

But I learnt a very important lesson at the end of the day.

That it's all about Him.

(: Am bringing my camera later on. It's been a long time since I've taken photos with those bunch. (:

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MaxMobile (it's Starhub MaxMobile.. not LaoErMobile..) rocks! Haha... now I can surf practically anywhere - am in joo chiat waiting for my counselling class to start... good time to leave an entry. :) Submitted the essay!! Haha... then I realised quite a number of my classmates applied for extension. Now I'm wondering if I'm handing up quality work... well. Will know when the paper's returned. Till then... it is done! :P

It's been a long time since I felt a little "freed up"... am glad to recapture that feeling this afternoon in my office. Hahaha... not that I didn't have anything to do anymore, but somehow I was able to feel "free". Haha. I hope I make sense.

I printed out half of the secondary one namelist today... I don't know. There's just this apprehension that I won't be able to give of my energies into knowing this coming batch of students. For one, I'm going to only teach them for five weeks, much less than what I did for the previous two batches... and I do have intention to look through my powerpoints and notes again and see what I can improve on for this year's teaching. But there's just so much... Hmm.

I was putting up the board of written notes - changed the layout of my office room a bit - and restuck the different 2006 sec one class photos unto the wall. I finally have this urge to get the 2007 batch's printed out. Hahaha.... I wonder what's taking me so long. :P I really enjoyed the times teaching them and interacting with them... those two batches. Getting to know some of them better through the past years, I find it both amusing and amazing every time I look at them and think of how it was like then. So by right I should be feeling all excited to go in and know another batch this time round... but somehow I'm not sure at this point of time.

It's easy to go in and just dish out the content.

Haha... alright, shall go with the floooooooooow. (:

Was pacing out of school today... subtly melancholic I think. Haha... I saw the water polo boys training hard by the pool and in the pool. Hearing about all the recent stepping up in training and witnessing the loudness of the coach for myself... I wondered if it would still be possible for them to derive joy, by that I don't mean that joy comes from slack training, but it's possible for joy to permeate as long as the people involved understand and know what they're going through and decide to pull though it together. Haha... well, sure do hope that they'll taste of the fruits of their labour.

Was about to reach the end of the pathway when one of them called out a goodbye at me. Was quite amazed that he's able to spot me through the bushes and wired fences between the pool and the pathway. Hahaha... that came as a little perk-up - thanks - whoever you are - couldn't really make out the voice though... do identify yourself if you drop by! ;)

Alright... just nice. Lesson's starting. Till then!

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Hahahaha I didn't know completing an essay can bring about such exhilaration and jubilation! Haha... all thanks to Pa who's above all! And thanks to all who've been encouraging me on too! (:

I woke up feeling really tired today and wondered if I ever would have the energy to really complete my essay... all along I prayed that it's got to be You who can sustain me and bring me through this... Haha. Spent two rather long days in school after the first day - ended both days pretty much the same, with rather wholesome chats... it's a joy I must say! :)

And so I was comtemplating whether I should park myself at the Starbucks near my place to write or to return home instead. In the end I decided to go Starbucks - the dark mocha frapp is the thang man. Haha... The best thing was I ended up working together with Jan and Sarah!!! Hahaha... it's been so long I've had such a nice WEB WEB family feeling... Haha three persons cramming a table with two working on laptops and one doing math sums. Not bad. Haha... the most amazing thing was that I was able to suddenly write. It's like some floodgates suddenly just opened up in my brains. :P

And so it got done. YAY!!! Haha.. not that there's time to slack, for the final piece of this phase of the course ensues. Mmm. To be frank, I've been contemplating quite a bit with regards to whether or not I should defer my studies after the end of this phase in August... cause juggling just between work and studies is already no joke, not to mention the many commitments.

Something amazing happened though... quite scary actually. But it must be divine! Haha... was in the canteen buying my lunch when the canteen store aunty suddenly asked me about my studies (I don't think I've ever told her?!?), and so I briefly told her and also the intention to defer. Wah then her reaction quite huge - and her discourse went along the lines of it being better to finish my studies earlier so that I'll get a higher pay and that I won't be able to cope with it when family kicks in.

As I went down to sit at one of the tables... it dawned on me that that wasn't any ordinary conversation! Of all people, a canteen store aunty who doesn't know any detail of my work/studies telling me things I needed to hear in the midst of my contemplation... like of all people, a photocopier man who asked my mom to bring our family to a nearby church to ask for prayers for Dori... whoa.

Amazing how God uses the most unexpected people. :)

Haha.. and so now I shall have my well deserved rest before a new day starts all over again!

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A wealthy widowed man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Viet Nam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

Later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.

He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out his package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.

"Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift." The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection. On the platform sat the painting of the son.

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"The kingdom of God is a kingdom of Paradox, where through the ugly defeat of a cross, a holy God is utterly glorified. Victory comes through defeat; healing through brokenness; finding self through losing self." - Charles Colson

"God will never plant the seed of his life upon the soil of a hard, unbroken spirit. He will only plant that seed where the conviction of his spirit has brought brokenness, where the soil has been watered with the tears of repentance as well as the tears of joy." - Alan Redpath

"[Freedom] can come to us only by the defeat of our old life. Safety and peace come only after we have been forced to our knees. God rescues us by breaking us, by shattering our strength and wiping out our resistance". - A. W. Tozer

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'Tis a mad rush in school today... so many errands to run... went to and fro the entire stretch of school compound a couple of times... I was like a transient person in my own office... think some of my students stayed in my office longer than I did. Haha...

Shall squeeze in some essay writing time. :P

(bearing it all before I sleep)

Got a rough plan out... and as what lui mentioned in the tagboard, I guess it'll eventually roll out as a "last minute" thingie... but somehow the frustration of not getting anything out the past days is gone. Haha...

It's funny how verses just pop in and out of the head any-o-how... this being the latest word of encouragement I got once again from Pa:

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow weary and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:30-31

And then I saw it in print on another brother's blog! Hahaha...

I'm thankful. That things are picking up once again. Spiritually, physically... It's interesting to witness how much the world can throw currently, hurling mini cruch-times like nobody's business... and yet in the midst of all these I'm learning to build up some "no compromises", some things that I hope I'll build a discipline to do and to have it firmly rooted.

I quote one of my dear brothers who's eight years younger:

"On a different note, it just occurred to me, if what we discussed during wg about Ananias and Sapphira dying because God knew they weren't going to repent, and stopped them from continuing to sin were true, then if God hasn't killed me all the times I've sinned repeatedly, then it means i still have the chance to repent in my lifetime."

As I look back upon the years of my life... I'm brought to the point, many times, of not being able to fathom the grace that's been so lavishly given. As I return to basics and learn all over again, I'm reminded once again of my purpose in living... and to think that I've actually written a song for it.

For the glory of my King...

He who is King, who humbled Himself, who calls His subjects His friends... who died for them... us... so that we may be reconciled... and live. And have our lives so radically changed, minds transformed, not so that it goes down well with us, but that His glory shall be revealed and lifted up.

I realised that I haven't used this word in a rather long time.

:)

HALLELUJAH.

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I planned to write the essay today... but nothing came out. Don't want to stay up late.. it's the first day of the new term tomorrow after all. Guess I'll probably bring the materials to read and digest along the way and think of ways to begin the essay.

I haven't felt so immobilised in any particular piece of work in a rather long time... the last one being the last essay. =.= I told dear dear over msn just now that it's rather hard to fathom how I'll last through the masters leg of the course.

Well.

Today's Aunty Witwit's day off for this month... and so I'm left with mom at home. Dear came over with lunch in the afternoon after service... then I brought mom out on her wheelchair to watch television in the afternoon. We caught this japanese series which Dori bought - Team Medical Dragon. The series centres upon a male doctor character who's a cardiology expert and surgeon who treats patience first before anything else, even if it means compromising standard protocols and rules.

There was this moving scene of a young hooligan in the hospital begging the said doctor to save his mom, who was about to undergo a major operation under him. Towards the end of the segment, dear dear turned over and asked if I've ever experienced that. Haha... I was trying hard to suppress my emotions and prevent the glands from working when she asked that... and so I kept quiet.

Come to think of it, my experience was that of confusion more than anything else. Everything happened so fast then - received a call to say that mom was sent to hospital... all I remember was the huge chill that overcame me when a doctor brought us into a small room in the emergency ward and told us to prepare ourselves.

It's probably Pa's grace for blocking off those really sad moments I guess... and I'm thankful that mom's around. :)

Alright... time to sleep off the worries of the day... and trust that all shall be good the next day. Over and out.

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I've been sitting here at Vivocity's Starbucks since 1:30pm or so... it's close to 6pm now.

What have I been doing?

Fixing up the coming term's timetables for the classes I'm coordinating... and booking the venues for the lessons.

FIVE HOURS.

Saturday.

Haha... well. And I have yet to begin my two thousand word long essay that's due this coming Thursday. And from the schedules, it doesn't seem possible for me to have an extended free slot to work on it.

Trusting the Lord in times such as these is a huge adventure in itself... Proverbs 3:5-6... Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding... in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Go go go. :)

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"Men are in a restless pursuit after satisfaction in earthly things. They will exhaust themselves in the deceitful delights of sin, and, finding them all to be vanity and emptiness, they will become very perplexed and disappointed. But they will continue their fruitless search. Though wearied, they still stagger forward under the influence of spiritual madness, and though there is no result to be reached except that of everlasting disappointment, yet they press forward. They have no forethought for their eternal state; the present hour absorbs them. They turn to another and another of earth's broken cisterns, hoping to find water where not a drop was ever discovered yet." - Charles Spurgeon

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www.galvs.net says:
man i miss u guys. Haha

(david){tan}[s.y]+ Capture the God Idea for your life says:
hahaz

(david){tan}[s.y]+ Capture the God Idea for your life says:
yeah lah

(david){tan}[s.y]+ Capture the God Idea for your life says:
u and ur hwa chong

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I'm currently at Plaza Singapura's Starbucks outlet catching a little respite before I return to my work. Haha... well. Been wanting to write an entry after my reservist but yeah. If only I'm a professional blogger who blogs for a living and earns off his writings. Hahaha...

Work has been piling. I was a little taken aback when I checked my email today - it seems that most of my colleagues start work towards the end of the school holidays... and when work comes, it comes in bite sizes... but when you receive many, many bite sizes, it adds up. I guess a lot of my boys can identify with that. Hahaha... say, when I say we're in this together, we're really in this together eh. ;)

Reservist went alright - it's heartening on one hand to see all the familiar faces in the unit - four more new faces this time round. I don't think I should say much about the nature of my work or my unit... but haha, I'll never imagine when I was young, obese with a lack of zeal for physical labor and all... that I'll be in a unit that crosses over behind the enemy front line. Yep, it's a specialised unit... with definitely higher mortality rates than most other units... in a real war la, that is. I've been presented with an opportunity by my counselling supervisor to relocate to become a counsellor in the army itself... but I don't know. As of now I'm fine with how it is... but of course, the prospects of fiercer trainings in future in-camp trainings aren't exactly enticing. Where's God's will in this? I'm known to myself for running... I think I would have taken the path of least resistance if I'm simply left to my own devices. But for now I know I am to stay... so... let's see how it goes. It's scary to know that I'm one of the few to be in the running for the post of csm (company sergeant major) as the current one's done with his in-camps... well. Again, as He wills. If it eventually lands upon my shoulders then I'll have to trust that He'll grant the strength and courage bah... because I know I can't. Haha... lousy peasy me. Hahaha... I by myself suffer from low self esteem and low self confidence (so much so for being in the counselling profession orh!!!!) God maintains the balance for me. :P

I attended the staff mid year seminar this morning in school. There was re-look into and evaluation of the values of our school - J-TIGER - Joy, Teamwork, Integrity, Global Perspectives, Excellence and Resilience, which applies to both students and staff.

Some put forth that "Joy" should be replaced with "Passion" as a value word as joy is often not the end product of passion driven work. Some contended that students often misuse the word and chose the path of least resistance (ie they don't do homework) so that joy wouldn't be compromised... well. I do think of how to instill joy in this bunch that I've been entrusted with... but I must confess that it's hard, hard because even though much of the programmes are opt-in programmes, most of their choices aren't exactly guided by passion... more of the other "p"s I guess - pressure... or parents. They're more often than not passionate about other things other than the academics... of which I see them putting in more than double the effort sometimes to ensure that they have adequate training for their competitions and matches. Haha... I think this value has been fulfilled in a sense in the area of the spectrum of co-curricular activities offered to them... but when it comes to the academics... well. There are individuals who are and who excel no doubt, but definitely not half a cohort.

I am mindful of the same thing happening again next year when the current batch of sec twos are asked to exercise their options... but yeah, in a sense, many of them have the potential, and perhaps they are at an age where they are unable to make wise choices for themselves. I have no doubt that many of the current batch that I'm seeing through will turn out really well even though they may be grumbling here and there now... I am just wondering if there is any way to jumpstart the passion-driven learning in them.

It's different when that happens. People rise up in resiliency because the things they're doing are the things they really want to do, no matter how hard it is. And joy will become a natural by-product of this process. I couldn't exactly see when I first came in... but now I'm catching a glimpse of it in my own self.

I requested for this job. Well, not that I knew it would so tough (hahaha), but I realised that whereas I'd "whine" here and there of the endless amount of work that piles up due to my diverse portfolio at work, I still find the satisfaction whenever I'm done with any particular piece of work... and definitely the joy of seeing them benefit from the work.

But yeah... am just hoping that God will be merciful to continually sustain me as I juggle the many hats. :) 

Thankful for the conversation I had with one of my boys in the wee hours of the morning some days ago over msn... it was just a simple acknowledgment from him.. a little expression of appreciation... but it's really going a long way for me. Talk about quality fuel that burns. :P Thanks... you know who you are. And it's really heartening to see how you're putting in so much effort at this point of time... must jiayou okay! ;)

Dear dear and I have been shopping around for our family wedding dinner venue the past week... went to Grand Shanghai a week ago and Park Royal Beach Road the night before... will be looking at two more tomorrow before arriving at a decision. It was a really good visit yesterday to Park Royal.. we both had a really good feel of the location, service and food... unless the other two venues are able to offer anything spectacular, we are pretty set. Haha... planning for wedding can be a very tiring process, ironically. But even so, we're thankful we've got a whole bunch of brothers and sisters who're always there willing to help. It's a bit daunting to imagine how it'll turn out that day... can only leave it up to God - just as how we've set it to be - that day shall solely be for His glory... and I guess for that He'll let everything run according to His agenda? Hahaha... if only Pa can gao tim all the preparation work. =.= Hahahaha...

No qualms for being one who can be a little different from the rest of the pack. Apart from family and those whom we really want to honor, the average age of my VIPs for that afternoon's ceremony fall in the adolescence region - those of school... and of youth ministry. Haha.. shall see how it'll all turn out that day bah. Daunting to think of it now... one at a step I guess. :)

Alright... I guess I've crapped enough. Thought I'll leave a post for those who've been coming back but finding no update. :) Do leave a comment in this entry with your thoughts, etc - really hope I can jumpstart the commenting function of this site again - it's been stagnant. So... yeah - if you don't mind! ;)

And yeah... words of encouragements are definitely more than welcomed. ;)

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It's the time of the year again - R-E-S-E-R-V-I-S-T. Haha... am still intrigued as to why it's only three days this time round... and no extra information can be found on the NS website. I know I should be sleeping since I only have another few more hours to rest before booking in... but yeah - think I'll do just do up something real short.

Haha okay time for bed for now.

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The meetings of my work retreat ended officially on Thursday early evening, leaving the evening and night free for me... initially wanted to pack my stuff and go home, but heh, the weariness of long discussions weighed down on me as soon as I went back to the guest room in the boarding school... and I took a nap instead, which lasted quite long. :P

It was one of those rare (and I mean really rare) moments when I was doing channel switching (because I'd failed miserably to get an internet connection from that spot) on tv when I came across a documentary programme on Arts Central showing some footages of a girl in a pentacostal church. It caught my attention and I decided to give it a watch.

The initial portion of the show talked about how the girl relied on God in her everyday life... then it somehow moved to the entire deal of speaking in tongues, how when the Spirit takes possession of her body she would break out in tongues (most of the times in an incomprehensible language). The show moved on with various speakers explaining how speaking in tongues is a form of outward manifestation of God's Spirit taking possession in one's body, just like how certain other groups chew on glass to "prove" that, or handle deadly snakes because somewhere in the Word it says that those with God's Spirit will be able to handle serpents.

Well. I must say I felt rather uncomfortable after watching through the segments... it's not about the notion of speaking in tongues (I have been blessed with the gift somewhere down the line... but it's been dormant lately heh), but the way it's been poised as an outward manifestation to others.

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A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "You have seen Hell".

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the selfish and greedy think only of themselves."

When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you!

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If only I'm able to do the things I really want to do at the time I want to do so.

Like, duh, everyone will love that, right? Haha...

Right now, I really want to create a nice public website and an internal blog version (for the boys) of the Centre that I'm currently coordinating in school.

But I know there're more important things to complete, like my essays, the timetabling, the venue allocation for lessons, the internal learning system...

I just saw a website of a specialised programme section of another school which made me feel quite zi bei. Hahahahaha.... Ah well. I'll just have to trust that I'll be given the time and resources to do up a nice looking site in time to come.

Had a rather productive morning in school working out many administrative matters... am about to go home for a little rest and hopefully a nice jog. Dad and dori are away in Malaysia for church camp... I can't believe that I'm missing it. :| Then there's a work planning retreat from tomorrow onwards till Friday... and for that I may have to miss 2G'07's class chalet... again. It just happens so that whenever this class holds something, be it a chalet, gathering, etc, I would have something else lined up at the same time. Oh wells. Hahaha...

Alrights. Leaving for home now. :)

(but the sad thing...)

... is that I don't think I'll ever be able to get them to identify with the Centre. It heartens me to see them getting involved in the plethora of activities with much enthusiasm and leaving with tinges of regret, hoping that those conferences, camps, courses etc would last longer and that they would hope as much as possible to stay clear of identifying themselves as members of the Centre... well.

In a way it's energy sapping... and I guess this is one area where I'll really have to bang on hope and vindication, hoping that they'll graduate at the end of next year and acknowledging that their two years spent had been worthwhile.

And in the meantime... I suppose all I can do... is to just do it. NIKE. Haha...

Off to Char's uncle's place for dinner!

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The verses never meant much even though I knew what they mean intellectually when I read them as a new believer years ago:

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it." - Matthew 7:24-27

Back in those times, I had the privilege of being in the midst of peers who were mostly starting out on this journey of faith, mostly not knowing, but willing. Looking back, I'm really thankful how God laid this foundation in my life despite my ignorance - it was through all the fellowship and wonderful times we had as brothers and sisters then that we experienced Him together, cried together, prayed for one another...

Then came the period of time when I started serving in the youth ministry where I had the privilege to see the growth of quite a number of youths, most who're taller than me now (sigh haha). Through this period of time I've come to experience for myself the Shepherd's heart, to know how hard it is to look after young people (and as for application, me as a young child in the faith), prone to wander, falling, etc.

The rain fell... the floods came... the winds blew... and this house had been heavily beaten upon... and still is.

I really cannot imagine how life could have been should all the things that'd happened happen again... but this time without God in the picture.

Perhaps I'll still live through it all... but probably I'll grow up a really jaded adult, jaded with life, crying unfairness, hating life as it is? Haha...

It's been one of the busiest periods of my life, if not the busiest. There're many transitions to go through, and sometimes I guess I can do better in being more diligent in making deadlines. Two weeks of school holidays have gone by... and I'm left with much to be done. Work retreat and reservist will take up six days of the two weeks... which pretty much leaves me with only one more week to get all the things done.

Come to think of it... it's a rather impossible feat.

There're times melancholy sets in still... and I'll hope I can spend times doing nothing at all, or rather doing things I enjoy doing with no work-to-be-done hanging over my head or swimming round my mind.

That's the thing about growing up as well I realised... more and more I'm beginning to understand that sometimes it's not just in the things that you've done wrong, but most of the times it's in the things that are undone. Responsibilities... liabilities...

Am just thankful that somewhere in my autonomic system there is this refusal to give up hope.

That He'll see me through... see dear dear through... see them through... see all of us through.

Am thankful too... that regardless of how life changes, He's allowed me to keep my simple purpose in life.

That which will be my birthday wish... year after year. :)

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I have the sudden urge to jog a pretty long distance in the morning later.

I guess it's time to redeem the discipline that I've hidden. Must must.

Erratic sleeping hours must be rectified... starting from now. So sleep I shall for now.

Even if I don't cover a long distance, I must make sure that I cover some.

Resolve. :)

(1:31pm on 5th June)

Jogged from 8am to 11am. Good start. Hahaha in case anyone leaves with the impression that I can suddenly jog three hours non stop - I did it with breaks in between... but still it was a really good workout. Hope to keep up now that this inertia has been broken. Gonna eat some sumptuous meals over the next few days... hopefully I'll be disciplined enough to eat in moderation. :P

Now, it's time to update LoveSingapore. Shall target to finish it in an hour's time. Vrrrrooom.

(2:28pm on 5th June)

Updated  LoveSingapore (YAY!!!) and another website as well. Good. Now on to other stuff. Must be productive, mustn't lose the steam!!

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I'm currently blogging from the Starbucks outlet that I used to hang out a lot in when I was studying my diploma in counselling psychology... I'd either be here myself reading up before the lesson or I'd be meeting gpp for a cuppa (well he'll drink hot coffee whereas it'd be choc for me most of the time) before moving off together.

Memories. :)

Quite a lot of my students have just gone through days of intensive bonding through leadership camps, model united nations, conferences... I think many of them are suffering from post event depression syndrome. Hahahaha... well. I hope I don't sound too sadistic in penning this, but I'm really glad, that they've gone through such great times and made so many new friends and found new friendships amongst existing ones. It's been a rather tough and stressful journey the past months for this bunch of boys... and it's really heartening to see them rise above situations and moods. A lot of them are really beyond their years.

Not that all good things must come to an end... but life goes on. I would have been stuck at my ThinkQuest finals ten years ago, or the many youth camps where the encounters with God are so tangible and precious. Life goes on... we meet new people, go through new experiences, get new highs, crawl through new lows... there'll be more moments of euphoria, and lonliness at times... and life goes on.

I came into the Christian faith at a point where I'd yet to give serious thoughts to the serious questions in life. I'm rather amazed now, come to think of it, of how I could have strived hard as a student in the past even though I didn't know what it's for.

Do well, earn loads, get rich, be well off enough and then die off... somehow it just doesn't make sense anymore, that you can either waste this life away or spend it wisely in the pursuit of passion... and yet both reach the same end.

Death has been said as the common denominator for all living creatures. You can be the richest person on earth or the poorest begger in the streets... you won't be spared.

Many arrive at the stance of contentment in life as long as life is lived meaningfully, regardless of how long or short it is. Well... I'll still point it to God's grace that He's given me the eyes to see beyond and the heart to accept, that abundant life abounds in eternity, that life as the world knows it isn't just about living it to the fullest before one passes on, but it's about living it to the max and telling others of it before the journey on the other side begins.

I have someone who seems quite adamant in accepting what's been told, of God's grace and love and the invitation of life that's extended to all who believe in Jesus Christ. He queries, as with many others, why so many people are "going to hell" if God is truly loving and gracious.

Imagine quicksand. Many see themselves on solid ground and they get pushed into the quicksand in the end for not accepting the message.

Now imagine quicksand again, this time round with everyone in it and Someone on the solid ground extending his hand to all who would accept the help.

Come to think of it... I have a suspicion that it's not that the world doesn't believe in God or His saving grace, but that the world's belittling the word sin... and it's destructive consequences.

And it's true, that he who sees the immensity of sin and its consequences will realise that there's nothing much that one can do... and subsequently come to realise the extent of love and grace that has been given.

Till I breathe my very last here on this side of eternity, I really hope that He'll continue to use me to reach out, that when the day comes I'll be able to see every face that He's allowed me to come across here.

Okay... one more hour to go before meeting dear dear and our wedding coordinator for our first discussion. ;) Had porridge with Kel and SJ at Kel's dad's stall - good stuff! Then Indy Jones... didn't really talk much throughout. Sometimes I would love it if I'm given a more charismatic nature, but yeah, that's the way I was and still is, quiet, introverted, unable to rouse crowds nor make inspiring speeches.

Which is why I'm often amazed of how He can use me. LOL. Hahaha...

1

'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'You believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment.

'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes ! sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. 'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.' 'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student : 'From...God...'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues: 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'

The student: 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

0

I had a rather good catchup with Peter and Amos over lunch the afternoon before at Holland Village... it's just amazing time and again to know that one's in his final leg of junior college life and another's done with his first term in polytechnic, when it seems just like yesterday when they're in secondary one. Hahaha...

We eventually came to the topic of childlikeness. Peter shared that his dance instructor said of him, that he should not be gullible because the world would swallow him up. We began to talk of how politicking and backstabbings thrive in the secular world today, and how we might have been too comfortable in our own worlds in the past to realise that. I for one have begun to understand this a little bit more as I step forth into the working world.

We are not called to be participants of such, but to be true to Him in all our dealings, and more importantly, to reflect Him in whatever places we've called to. It's not so much about being gullible and giving others the liberty to step on you... but retaining the childlikeness of heart, being vulnerable, laying bare to people and circumstances around you with discernment, yet knowing that He shall be the One who will keep us from all harm.

I remember writing about this before... so I did a search. :P

I looked through all my past years' October 1st entries... and realised that I have yet to write something on Children's Day before. Funny. Haha... yeah. To all children out there (and my students included though they don't exactly celebrate this day anymore) - HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY! XD

As an adult, it's easy for me to be sucked into the monotony and stresses that adulthood may entail - but ultimately, we all know that despite all the things that life throws at us, much of how we react and respond depends very much on the perspective that we have of life.

Certain things, once said, will always remain in the heart. Perhaps it was a desire so genuine and longed for... that He's heard and so graciously made it part of my life... and I'm just thankful and hopeful that even when it's ten or twenty years down the road, He'll still allow it to be part of who I am in Him.

What is it? Haha...

I once told a sister in Christ (who is now faithfully serving Him in a faraway land... Hahaha) that I really hope that the childlikeness that I had then would never fade away as I grow up... Haha. Yeah. I actually feared that I would grow up to be a jaded young man, get myself caught in the silly rat race, go to work and yet not knowing where I'm going, settle into the mundaneness of life... and worst of all, find myself drifting from Him, that as I grow I will not be able to go before Him as transparent as before, as childlike as before anymore.

I guess Children's Day each year's a pretty good day to do a self check and evaluation. I really wonder why I didn't think of this the past years. :P

"He (Jesus) called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" - Matthew 18:2-4

Faith like a child. I remember a faint analogy that speaks of the president as the most powerful figure in the country, yet his baby toddler can simply crawl into his office in the midst of a meeting, climb up unto the table, smile at his father and instead of being carried away, receive a hug from his dad.

"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.

Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.' When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there." - Matthew 19:13-15

Faith like a child. Children represent the purity of heart - they have yet to be tainted by the things of the world. Innocence is their prized possession.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." - Matthew 5:8

Peter, one of my dear youths (who is in the midst of taking his JC1 promotional exams), always like to make use of Matthew 19:13-15 to justify his childish acts sometimes... Haha. Lightheartedness aside, I really hope that as he grows up, that childlikeness in him for Him shall remain. He's starting to feel the stresses like never before as a junior college student... and as one grows older and responsibilities get dumped upon one's shoulders, it just gets tougher each day. So yeah. Jia you! :)

"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.'" - Matthew 11:25-26

That I may come before You Pa always... like a child. :)

That you may go before Him always too... like a child. One day. :)

LIKE A CHILD
by Jars of Clay

Dear God, surround me as I speak,
the bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear
Dear God, don't let me fall apart,
you've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched for answers I can't understand

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing into the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child

Sometimes, when I feel miles away
and my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose the recklessness
I walked in light of you

"I've got joy like a fountain!"
"Be kind one to others"
"In Jesus Christ Your son"

They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
with faith like a child

0

I attended performances of three people who're close to the heart over the course of May, all whom I've gotten the privilege to witness their growth over the past six years or so, from their entrance into the adolescent period to now their late adolescence.

Each of them had their own journeys to take, each from a different background, each taking pretty different paths... and from this journeying, I realise more and more that things do change: our social circles, our passions, hobbies, things we do, perspectives... and more and more I appreciate when God says that He's the never changing, ever faithful. And perhaps that's why I can be a little more hopeful when situations don't look bright, when things that ought to be changed aren't exactly changing, when people are seemingly sliding away.

I attended the first dance performance yesterday evening that brought about a surge of emotions from within. Technically wise, the AC dancers weren't as together and on the beat as compared to last year's performance... but the joy, emotions and genuineness that the dancers brought out, they're priceless. I never would have expected to be touched this way, but I was, in a deep and unique way. They brought me to the point of presence as they danced to a Christian song, a feature of each year's performance. It's not about the complexities of the moves or the lack thereof... but the heart. And it's a joy to see Peter as one of the primary dancers, and to see him dance to that song. In my heart, I knew it straightaway that God's been moving in his heart as I saw the way he danced to that song.

"I've never felt so close to God like this before"... the first thing he said as we met briefly before he had to leave to pack up.

He's one boy who kept seeking even though he didn't see it that way. Time and again he tried to find a purpose in his dancing... I guess he's hitting something. :)

It takes faith to hold on to promises given... Am trusting still, that the seeds will grow to become trees for birds to perch on. (Matthew 13:31-32)