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The verses never meant much even though I knew what they mean intellectually when I read them as a new believer years ago:

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it." - Matthew 7:24-27

Back in those times, I had the privilege of being in the midst of peers who were mostly starting out on this journey of faith, mostly not knowing, but willing. Looking back, I'm really thankful how God laid this foundation in my life despite my ignorance - it was through all the fellowship and wonderful times we had as brothers and sisters then that we experienced Him together, cried together, prayed for one another...

Then came the period of time when I started serving in the youth ministry where I had the privilege to see the growth of quite a number of youths, most who're taller than me now (sigh haha). Through this period of time I've come to experience for myself the Shepherd's heart, to know how hard it is to look after young people (and as for application, me as a young child in the faith), prone to wander, falling, etc.

The rain fell... the floods came... the winds blew... and this house had been heavily beaten upon... and still is.

I really cannot imagine how life could have been should all the things that'd happened happen again... but this time without God in the picture.

Perhaps I'll still live through it all... but probably I'll grow up a really jaded adult, jaded with life, crying unfairness, hating life as it is? Haha...

It's been one of the busiest periods of my life, if not the busiest. There're many transitions to go through, and sometimes I guess I can do better in being more diligent in making deadlines. Two weeks of school holidays have gone by... and I'm left with much to be done. Work retreat and reservist will take up six days of the two weeks... which pretty much leaves me with only one more week to get all the things done.

Come to think of it... it's a rather impossible feat.

There're times melancholy sets in still... and I'll hope I can spend times doing nothing at all, or rather doing things I enjoy doing with no work-to-be-done hanging over my head or swimming round my mind.

That's the thing about growing up as well I realised... more and more I'm beginning to understand that sometimes it's not just in the things that you've done wrong, but most of the times it's in the things that are undone. Responsibilities... liabilities...

Am just thankful that somewhere in my autonomic system there is this refusal to give up hope.

That He'll see me through... see dear dear through... see them through... see all of us through.

Am thankful too... that regardless of how life changes, He's allowed me to keep my simple purpose in life.

That which will be my birthday wish... year after year. :)