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I was asking God on my way to the hospital for a heart that loves Him... a heart that desires Him. In my heart I was hoping for the kind of heart encounters I have with Him in the past, those precious times when you simply feel so broken and so loved at the same time. The songs in my iPod (thanks gpp... it's been put into much use (: ) played on... and just a few stops before I had to alight, Jeremy Camp's song "My Desire" started playing. Every word... every word represented what I wanted to say to Him.

Reached SGH's haematology centre at about 10:35am. Saw dad at the registration counter who told me that Dori's in one of the wards already. Yep.. she had a bone marrow aspiration appointment today. Her white blood cells are on the rise even with the increased dosage of the medication that she's been taking for the past five years or so... and so her doctor suggested that a bone marrow test be done to see if she would qualify for a clinical trial for a new form of drug used to treat chronic leukemias.

Went into the ward and saw Hui Fen (Dori's cellgroup leader) with her. The first thing Dori uttered to me was "no sedation". A nurse came by to explain that whereas she was given dormicum - general anaestesia - in the past, the hospital would not be giving it anymore as the drug might cause more harm than benefit.

I've not seen my sister so fearful before... she extended her left hand and asked me to hold it to see how cold and sweaty it was... and after which she teared amidst all the controlling.

She had a very bad experience the first time round eight years ago when she wasn't given general anaestesia... the pain to her was unbearable. Three nurses in all came to 'pacify' and tried to talk her to go without sleeping... in the end she insisted. One of them consulted her doctor, who agreed to give her the minimum dosage of the drug.

We proceeded to the room with the bed.. Dori changed her clothes and returned. We prayed... Prayed for her that God would take away all fears and doubts in her mind and that His peace and comfort be with her... that He would allow the procedure to be a quick and painless one.

I had to tilt my head upwards after ending the prayer... I had to keep quiet and keep still for that few moments to keep tears from spilling over the cornea.

The procedure went smoothly... Dori was awake enough after it to do some chatting before she took a little nap.

Yeah... I have a strong little sister. (:

We proceeded to Central for a very late lunch before she went to browse some books at Kinokuniya while I returned to boarding school.

I'm just glad that I'm allowed time-off today to be with my sis.