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Hey people. (:

Nah... I wasn't gone. It's just that there's so many things happening... it's really been the busiest december - january period I've ever had in my entire life... surely hoping that it'll be the busiest and that it won't get any busier the same time next year! Haha...

Time became so scarce for me that blogging became a luxury... it's funny how I am resisting the urge to launch photoshop to do a little photo montage of all the things that's been happening! Haha... but seriously, so many things went by so fast these few weeks... am just thankful that I was able to squeeze time to upload them and categorize them properly.

It's been the busiest (oh no I just realised I've just reiterated it) season thus far... and it was till this afternoon that I was able to take a little breather at work even though there's much left to be done... but somehow I just did - took the breather, that is.. and feeling good about it. Haha... it was a mayhem in december before the new school term started. Information came in late... I wasn't able to create what I ought to create... there were things that had to be done manually... in an awfully painful manner that no one can really understand until he's actually doing it... but hey, I'm thankful for my boss who saw me through the times. The weekend after school reopening? I think he stayed up with me to work through certain documents... when he didn't have to.

Then there's this event which I thought I wouldn't be directly involved in after assigning the respective roles... but there were loopholes and gaps that I saw which I couldn't simply just ignore... it fell through eventually still... seemingly. As I scoured through the web all I found were negative comments... but I'm still hoping that all that's done had benefited some in a right manner, even though it can be quite intangible for now. Cryptic paragraph I know... well.. yeah. :)

My sec four boys are all wearing the college beige uniform and long pants... it still gives me a rather 欣慰 feeling when I see them in this new outfit. Sometimes I wonder if I would feel the same for subsequent batches after this one... the very first whom I've known since they were in sec one.

I am thankful for the privilege of working with them... there are a couple of them whom I've grown closer with through the four years of knowing one another... seeing them grow, partaking in their joys and their sorrows. I am thankful for how He's allowed me to get to know some of them better and subsequently earned the right and trust to speak into their lives, knowing that I bring no ill intentions but what I feel is best for them. Some worked out for the better while some turned sour in my opinion... and funnily, it's still something that I harp on from time to time, wondering if I could have used a different approach, wondering if I should have worked on building a deeper relationship and friendship before speaking. Well... at the end of the day, I must remind myself of how tumultuous a period (15-18 years old) this is for them.

I am constantly mindful of the possibility of neglecting the incoming batch of sec threes; I wonder at the possibility of knowing each of them (253 of them) given my workload and schedules... and I think I'll be arriving at the decision of simply relying on God's strength to do so in His timing. I don't think I can be intentional about knowing everyone... but what I can do is to constantly step out of my introvert shell and initiate small talks when the opportunities arise.

It can be a rather exciting time if things work out come to think of it... I shall be committed to the boarders under my mentorship and also my mentees in school, all whom I have yet to meet up officially this year. And then I'll probably be getting a couple of new mentees as well... just hoping that I won't be bogged down by other things at work so that I can properly plan and work out my time with them... see how bah. :)

Thankful for the short trip of respite with Char and her family to Pulai Springs in Johore over the Christmas weekend.. it was a good time of refreshing, of getting away from the work that was blaring down. Secret Recipe in Malaysia's so cheap la!! Ate meals complete with a Secret Recipe cake and still it costs less than ten bucks per person! Haha.. visited Kukup after ten plus years.. I think we went to the same seafood place that I went to back then! Haha...

Then it was Senior WEB's "At The White Line", a celebration to see the seniors moving up to RAYs, the young adult's ministry in church. It's amazing to see how everyone has grown... and more than just the age... the maturity. (:

School reopened... the new batch of sec threes came in. There were so many things to settle administratively I didn't have the time to properly mix around... some of my sec four boys observed that I had been rather emotionless... and it's true - there were times when all I could afford was a little wave and a little "hello"... I jokingly told some of them that I needed to conserve my energies... hahaha ah well. Or is it a sign of growing older... sigh.

Hahaha... hai.

Met up with the sons to celebrate Sam's 15th birthday at the same place where we celebrated his 14th last year... I wonder how it'll look like when it's his 25th. I don't even know if we're able to celebrate such occasions together without fail.. but if anything, I'm learning all these from someone who's been doing so for me faithfully for the past many years. Thank you... you know who you are. :)

Met up with Chris, David and Zeb to celebrate Zeb's 17th birthday last weekend after church service... and again it's amazing just how He brings people together. They were the quietest ones in my group last time and I would never imagine that I could build up something concrete with them... and all I heeded at that point of time years ago was a call to gather them to work with their individual walk with God. And as I was chewing on the sushi (ah, sounds wrong but nevermind) then... it dawned on me how much God had worked in and through me... because I knew that it really couldn't have been me doing those things years ago.

Perhaps I'm wired this way... there are many things happening around me that aren't exactly good circumstantially, but still I find it hard not to give thanks.

I used to wonder about my testimony... used to think that wow look, they have such wonderful life changing stories in Jesus Christ and yet I wasn't able to see my own... that everytime if I had to share, it would be my entire family's testimony, but never one of my own.

Then I realised that hey, there had been many transformations in my life... in my mind... in my heart. It's been many years since I've kept 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in my heart... a verse that says: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for it is God's call for you in Christ Jesus (paraphrase mine). More and more I begin to realise that whereas a situation can be the same for both persons, both have the choice to see the circumstance in different perspectives... and for me, I've learnt (or rather He's blessed) to see the thanksgiving in every situation... which I'm thankful for (SEE! Hahah...)

I have been sloppish with my spiritual disciplines of late... readings have been close to zilch whereas praying took on a more impromptu basis with me never spending time to purposefully keep others in prayer. They say confession is bad for the reputation but good for the soul... well, I guess there's really nothing to hide. There are areas in my life which I have been wrestling with... still am, and I've come to terms that I may have to wrestle with them in the long haul.

All I ask this year... is that I'll make constant and conscious choice to choose what's right and what's best, and rely on God's grace and strength to see me through.

It's true. As you grow older, more things make sense... especially the things of God. There is a reason why God calls us to take on a childlike faith... because sometimes it's really hard to believe how dire situations can change for the good.

Then I realised... that it's not about how much you can trust in a God or deity to grant you your wishes... but rather it's how much you can trust in Him who knows best... who's walked with you faithfully through the years.

Thankful. :)

Dear God,

Thank You. :)

In Jesus' name. Amen.

Thanks to all who've been dropping by. :)