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A message that I wrote to my boys...:

Hey guys,

It's been some time I know. And I won't write long. Just some takeaways that I've had the past few weeks in the midst of my interactions which I thought would be good for me to share with all. It'll apply not just to your studies, but your CCAs, your competitions... and probably your life in general.

It's a consolidation of thoughts; paragraphs may not exactly link perfectly and they definitely do not refer to any individual, but they should form a common thread.

All of you are independent learners.

For those of you who play computer games or cards for the matter, you probably would have been introduced to the game by a friend or the media. You saw how fun playing it could be. You start to play... when learning curve became steep, you either asked your friends or you began doing your own search for the answers using guidebooks or the internet.

There can be many other examples: learning a musical instrument, etc. In all these, you would have been motivated by your interest in the subject.

Looking back at your academic subjects, you would naturally find yourself faring well for those subjects which you're really interested in. But I reckoned that for most studying the subjects is an obligation rather than an interest. What teachers can do is to do their best to enthuse you in the subjects. Apart from that, you would perhaps have to search for a motivation to excel.

Why are you studying in Hwa Chong... What are you studying for... and for whom?

And this applies to all other things you may be involved in as well.

You do not get what you set out to achieve... because you never really wanted to get it in the first place, or you've never wanted it bad enough.

Be it your grades, a competition, a match... any goal, for the matter.

When you sense that things are not right or can be improved, you choose status quo and nonchalance when you could be the one to make a change for the better.

Someone else will do it... someone else should do it.

You think that you may be labelled an extra for highlighting these things... then perhaps the thing/s your stood for where the issues stem from may not exactly mean as much to you... which you may think is a lot.

It's ironic I know, how you've been asked to do reflections upon reflections for every possible subject and topic and project... but most of the time ending up with generic replies. Perhaps you can afford a little bit of time to truly look deep within... and clarify for yourselves your goals, ambitions and aspirations, be it in your present studies, or a project, a competition... and even for life.

And perhaps once you've gotten it sorted out, you'll find things flowing more smoothly, heavy hearts lightened... triumphs more frequent... and smiles more often.

Journeying alongside,
Mr. Sng

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Since I've been asking my mentees to do reflections... I ought to raise the bar myself right. Haha... The past three weeks have been filled with mentoring sessions ranging from twenty minutes to over an hour... I am thankful that most of them took it seriously and not for granted... am especially touched when they actually remembered the appointments without prompting or reminding and turned up ready to chat.

Seeing through the lens of my personality and putting on the perfectionist in me, it was easy for me to be put off by the nonchalance of some who seemingly don't care - they either miss their sessions, or they don't submit what they're supposed to submit.

Well... was a little put off initially, then I was reminded that we may find extremes even in small sample sizes. Putting things in perspective, I really ought to be thankful for the bulk of them who're taking it seriously which I translate in part as a form of respect... and I am. :)

Just had an hour long session with one of my boarding programme mentees... I would usually jump straight into discussing progress... but somehow I decided to keep it open ended from the start and asked if he'd anything to talk about.

Whatever that transpired... well. If only every session is as such - being frank and talking about things that really matter. Well okay... there were such sessions with others as well... just that they're pretty rare bah.

Haha... alright that's all I want to jot down for now... till next time! (actually I'm cutting this short.. my head suddenly starts to spin by itself.. time to rest!!)

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*cough cough*

Sigh... this place so dusty again. Haha...

Yes, a busy season still... just to let the avid reader know that I'm very much alive and kicking. :P

It's a different kind of busyness from the start of the year though - what I had at the beginning wasn't that good - it was the routine kind of busyness working out all the admin for the year and looking at huge amounts of data... at least now things have moved on to becoming more people centred - mentoring, meeting with people, preparing for wedding, etc.

Yep.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to be officially involved in the mentoring process this year... ironically as it seems, my weakness (and yet perceived by most as strength) is in admin - not so much of the quality (which my perfectionist streak's causing my work to be pretty neat) but the consistency - I did not do a proper job last year with my documentations. This year, with the addition of official mentees from day school on top of my existing mentees in boarding school... it's become a real challenge to make sure that I update records consistently and that I do not delay updating for too long... less I forgot what transpired over each mentoring session.

It's been pretty good so far... but there's always room to improve and I know I've got to constantly make time to do my filings properly (ironically, I just chatted with one of my mentees regarding his perceived issue of a lack of self discipline, one of which was his lack of organisation, in filing, etc. Haha...)

I'm seeing a switch of focus at work as well... before the new school term starts I was still hoping that it's possible to do so, to look after two cohorts on a macro level and at the same time mentor individuals. I guess if I really want to I should be able to... but as how things are panning out now, I suppose it's best to take things naturally and not force myself to put on my burners... at the end of the day, I guess it's better to invest intentionally into the lives of a few and ensure that they grow, rather than thin my attention to everyone and at the end of the day not really achieving anything substantial for any individual.

Still, there's this part of me still wanting to... aye aye ayeeeeee.

Went with the volleyball team to CCK Sports Hall last week for the West Zone prize presentation... both the 'B' and 'C' divisions managed a third placing in their respective divisions... kudos! Glad to be part of the journey even though I was never really officially affiliated with the CCA.. (:

Wedding prep! HO HO! Haha... Gosh it's quite scary to know that we're into the last three months of preparations! Really thankful for the all the help that's been pouring in from all directions - Char and I would never have managed this on our own! I'm actually in the midst of designing our wedding website.. so I guess this hiatus will be extended quite a bit before I finish that site.

If it takes constant reflections for me to remember God's faithfulness... then I really hope I'll start pouring in more entries here each day. Say. Poke me at my tagboard for an update if this place stays stagnant again? ;)

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Lyrics by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Music by Gustav Holst, 'Jupiter' from The Planets Suite
Copyright 2006, Corrinne May Ying Foo

I believe you are the answer to every tear I've cried
I believe that you are with me,
My rising and my light.

Give me strength when I am weary
Give me hope when I can't see
Through the crosses I must carry
Lord, bind my heart to thee

That when all my days are over
and all my chores are done,
I may see your risen Glory
Forever where You are.

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It's been the third day since I've been trying out a new weekday routine... so far so good. Because of the nature of my work, my working hours in the day had been augmented to start from 10am and end at 3pm... but yes, there are time constraints aplenty. I've recently taken in new mentees in school... and it's a pretty hopeless situation to have them meet me in between my official working hours either as individuals or in groups.

And so... you know those 'mentos' moments? Haha... in lieu of marriage life which is to come soon (hur hur hur), it would be better to make good use of the morning time - would be meaningless for Char to wake up by herself and go off to work while I sleep in.. yeah. So now I've been waking early the past few days... quite a refreshing experience I must say, having not done so for quite some time. My daily dose of mini breakfast now comprises a cup of freshly brewed oolong tea and a piece (or two) of digestive biscuits. If time permits, I'll do my daily devotion before meeting my mentees in school (about 5-8 minutes walk)... or I'll do so after meeting them, like what I'm doing now, back in the apartment.

I've been trying to fit in exercise into the next slot... so far so good. Gonna wrap this up soon and stick to my exercise schedules! Haha... hopefully I'll slim down considerably before the big day comes. :P

Then it's back to school for work... nowadays I find it getting more and more administrative like and I do sense that my exposure with the boys is shrinking considerably... something that I have yet to be comfy with. But I know that I cannot afford to spread my energies too broadly, lest I shortchange those who are under my charges officially. Even in boarding school... I feel pretty bad that I've been enclosing myself in a shell these days. There are many things which I want to do but am not finding that energy to do so... good thing is that some of them take initiative to chat up and drop by to chill in the midst of their busy workload... some simply keep to themselves; well.. there are many things which I miss... many things which were so last year, which were not so as this new year starts. We all grow and have different priorities I guess.

I miss the bunch of kids in church. Those memories of spending time together, sharing thoughts... fragments of days past seem distant, yet near. I am heartened though... to see and know that most of them are still walking the walk, getting together... and I was genuinely touched when how one of them messaged to say that the whole bunch of them couldn't wait to see Char and I tie the knot. Haha...

Changes. I must keep on reminding myself that we go through changes all the time. Seasons change... people change. Just as how hard it was to let go of what used to be.. the wonderful times serving in youth ministry... I must constantly learn to let go and let God. This sec four batch would graduate... the current sec three batch would move up... a new sec three batch would be formed... the dynamics would be very different then. Then again, how things change, I wouldn't know. Then there's back to studying... the setting up of a new family... new dynamics, new seasons... in all things, it's a comfort to know that the everlasting God remains faithful through it all.

I haven't been the best of a disciple or a follower these days... some days I really feel like the prodigal son.

The only difference is that he didn't know that his father was waiting with open arms.

He didn't just wait with open arms... He ran... He ran towards his son.

Haha... God must be planning this weird little discourse, from writing about new routines to this!

In all circumstances... give thanks. :)

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The Humanities Programme guys had their annual Chinese New Year Lou Hei celebrations today... glad to see the boys having fun tossing the stuff all over the place and relax a little in the midst of their heavy workloads. :)

But yeah... as I was going around taking photos... I just had that sense of unfamiliarity overcoming me. Hmmm well, I don't exactly know how to explain it... but it's an expected scenario, given that I don't teach them and my interaction with them has been cut down by a whole lot this year since passing most of the daily administrative tasks to my colleague (who's a really good helper!!! haha...).

Well.

Oh well.