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I went with some colleagues to attend the wake of two of our students' mom who passed on (not away) this evening.

I didn't really say much there. For one, I don't really know them... but for the most part of it, I was at a loss of words... and probably a little overwhelmed.

Their mom and my mom share the same age if I'm not wrong.

With the experience of nearly losing her four years ago and knowing how it felt like, I really didn't know what I could offer besides saying a prayer for them and their family.

But yeah. Reality dawned on me that I'm really out of touch with this current batch. It's still something that I'm trying to grapple with, and at the same time knowing that I won't be able to achieve that without thinning myself out...

Well. I suddenly remember something remarkable that one of my boys mentioned before regarding forests and trees.

When I first started out with the first batch, I had the resources to focus on the trees.

Now, I must work for the forest.. but with the individual trees in mind and as the motivation.

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Tongue-in-cheek but absolutely true.

Common Sense -- We will miss you...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion..

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason...

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

0

This beautiful story was written by a doctor who worked in Africa.

One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labour ward; but in spite of all we could do, she died, leaving us with a tiny, premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to run an incubator). We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous draughts.

One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates). "And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways.

"All right," I said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from draughts. Your job is to keep the baby warm."

The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died.

During prayer time, one ten-year-old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. "Please, God" she prayed, "Send us a hot water bottle today. It'll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon."

While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, "And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?"

As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say "Amen"? I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything; the Bible says so. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from the homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever, received a parcel from home.

Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there on the verandah was a large 22-pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes.

I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box.

From the top, I lifted out brightly-coloured, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a batch of buns for the weekend. Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the.....could it really be? I grasped it and pulled it out. Yes, a brand new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried.

I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, "If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!"

Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully-dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves
her?" "Of course", I replied!

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months, packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "that afternoon".

"Before they call, I will answer." (Isaiah 65:24)

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost, but a lot of rewards.

Let's continue praying for one another.

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iHope
15 March 2009

The start of something new... iHope. :)

Verse:
Though the seasons may change
Your mercies, they remain
Your arms always wide opened
with Your abundant grace

Pre-Chorus:
You are my sweet, sweet Jesus
You're the everlasting God
You died for me so I may live
Teach me to die to self for you each day

Chorus:
I will soar on wings like eagles
as I hope in You my Lord
I will run and not grow weary
I will walk and not be faint
I will overcome my weakness
by the power of Your love
I know my strength will be renewed
so that I can walk with You
all my life

0

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
- Isaiah 40:28-31

God's mercies are new every morning...

Great is His faithfulness...

Great is His faithfulness.

(:

0

Back for a very little while... for a good bathe... for a good sleep, before heading back to camp a couple hours later to settle the stores and do some cleaning up. Had spent the past few days in the fields in an exercise. There wasn't too much of action... and somehow, I actually miss my ex-ICT mates. Well... in a sense I requested for this transfer, so I suppose I'll have to learn to mix around with this new group of people. Mmm.

I returned to boarding school slightly after 1am and had my long awaited shower... wanted to check out what the guys have done to the study room and all and so went to take a look while having my water bottle refilled. First it was the TV area that was messy... then my heart sank further when I entered the study room and switched on the lights.

It's funny... I didn't feel angry. I felt shi(1) bai(4) instead... like I've failed.

I guess it'll probably do some good for me to have some sleep for now and treat it that I'm still on reservist... which I am.

Bleah.

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Less than 24 hours from now, I would be somewhere out in the fields... would have set up tentages and fed some mozzies... and it'll go on for another two nights before I'll see civilization once again. Haha... A proper entry is warranted in times like this... not. Just felt like doing a consolidation of the many things that's been happening.

I suck at being a friend. That would be the evaluation I would give myself. Char challenged my notion and questioned my thinking... one of the reasons why God placed her in my life. Haha... The reason why I habour that thought ongoingly... is because I find myself inapt at maintaining friendships. There are friendships that I cherish... but somehow because of the lack of maintenance, they start to wane... and it fizzles out to the extent that there's really nothing much to connect with when we do meet.

Through the processing, I came to realise that true friendships based on deep shared experiences (through difficult times together, through sharing of private thoughts, etc) wouldn't need much maintenance... and most of the time I felt bad was because I've placed expectations upon myself to maintain as really good friends with certain people and groups of people but never really get to feeling so.

Then Char questioned me... how many deep friends do I want... and how many can one realistically have?

I can count with one hand. Hahahahaha.... and true enough, they're the ones whom I can be sure that we would still be close and that we could still share freely and deeply our thoughts and lives even though we don't meet often. And most of the time, I realised that it has been God's leading in all these friendships... well for one, I can never imagine being a godfather! Hahaha... :)

Jack Neo recently directed an English series entitled "Happily Ever After"... it's just concluded its run in the Okto channel the day before. One of the reasons why I like his productions is not because of the directing per se... but more so the message that he wishes to push through each of his works. This time round, it was a message of lies adding upon lies, and that only relationships thriving on communicating truth to each other would last.

The truth can't go any further from that! And I'm thankful for how God has been leading Char and I to be absolutely frank to each other and for me... to be able to relate to her all that I am... my weaknesses and flaws especially. It had been the most liberating thing to do back then... to have nothing to hide, to know in full view how we can chart into the future. :)

Doubts and suspicions are relationship killers... if you ever want any relationship to work out, be sure to keep those two words far far away!

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It's close to 9pm and I'm currently feeling rather drained... I guess I ought to exercise a little self discipline later and sleep as soon as I'm able to.

Rumination and mulling over issues are the things that I can be susceptible to... let's just say that there were some unpleasantries that occured over the past few days (don't really know why they have to cramp together toward my in camp training? oh well...) and I being the cause of most of what happened. I am thankful for the forgiving environment... and yet at the same time I now have to contend with my own thoughts with regard to all these. I'm not sure how whatever happened would have caused the lost of trust, how the working relationship has been affected adversely... at the back of my mind I'm constantly telling myself that things are okay... but in reality, the war that goes on inside the brain can be rather draining.

Well... thank God for the time spent yesterday night with Char before I went for my first day of reservist today. I think it was the first time we'd actually walked that long a distance... had good dessert and then we continued walking again! Haha... and in the midst of it my chatty and ding dong (nonsensical) self surfaced... Haha. 77 DAYS!

:P

I wanted to write about my first day of reservist... in the end I ran out of time. :| Well, not much... just that I'm thankful that this new team that I'll be with seems rather cohesive. :) Shall look forward to the rest of it! :)

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I'm beginning to see bits and pieces of what happened in the past coming back to haunt me in the way I work.

There's so much for me to learn, in the way of working together as a team.

... sorry.

Sometimes the melancholic side of me tells me to peel away and leave.

But I know it's a matter of adapting and learning.

I realise that most of my learning comes from bad experiences... haha well.

2

We are prone to ignore what cannot be seen... the intangibles.

We marvel at the grandiosity of the Taj Mahal, the Empire State Building, the unique architecture of our very own 'durian' Esplanade. While we stand in awe at the magnificence of their superstructure - the distinctive shape, height, design, etc - the most important element, the substrcture which enables the buildings to stand firm and maintain its magnificence, is entirely ignored - because it is completely unseen.

In life, we gravitate toward the visible and the spectacular - our accomplishments, stellar academic grades, overstuffed portfolio with recorded achievements and experiences, etc. Some get themselves overly stressed in order to add one more fresh coat of glittery paint over the walls of the building.

Though gratifying, this outward superstructure is however not where our primary energies should be expended. It is in the substructure, the unseen foundation, that our true strength lies.

Who we are, what we do when no one sees, form the substructure of our life.

With the right foundation that is firm, deep and stalwart, the structures will hold together firmly, and the superstructures can then rise to great heights without peril. Even if one desires to live simply and not aim to be the world's tallest superstructure, building a firm substrcture ensures a foundation that will withstand immense stress and strain for the building, tall or short, ensuring the safty of its occupants in times of stormy weathers, tsunamis and earthquakes.

Built upon the substructure are the structures - the supporting beams and columns - which fit together to form the framework around which the facade and usable floor area are built. These structures are the areas that we need to guard in our personal life. Time with family. Time with kindered-spirit friends. Time to unwind. Without these in the proper places, the building would be a haphazard jumble of awkward planes and dead spaces.

The superstructure represents the outward accomplishments of our life. It is built by competence and skill, with excellence. It is worthy only when the substructure is solid and the surface structures are set in place. For it is upon these that the strength, beauty and permanance of the superstructure depend.

Likewise in a tree, the roots are often unseen... but they're the very parts of the tree that holds itself up as the tree continues to grow tall and majestic.

You can train very hard in a skill... but if you are not well versed in the foundations, you may improve through rigourous training, but you may never find your form.

Who are you...? What do you do when no one sees you... are you one prone to taking short cuts? Or do you appear cordial in front of others and yet you're really someone who's cursing everyone away and stabbing people in the back? Do you partake in vices when no one's looking? What's your life built upon? Do you have personal values... what are they based upon?

What have you been spending the most time and conscious effort in building - the substructure, the structures or the superstructure of your life? Why?

What should you be focused on building at this point of time? If the building has to proceed concurrently in all 3 areas, which is the area that is of most concern to you? How can you allocate your resources (time)... How can you build in this area?

"Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation." - Saint Augustine

"The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty." - Zig Ziglar

Adapted from:
Chan, E. (2008). Mentoring Paradigms - Reflections on Mentoring, Leadership and Discipleship. Singapore: CEFC.