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Yes yes Kel... here's a post. Haha... I always thought that no one ever pops by anymore! :P

To be frank, I wrote a pretty long entry in the afternoon while waiting for Char to finish with one of her last facials before we officially tie the knot this end of May... 55 more days to go!!!! Gosh the cannot-believe-it feeling is starting to slowly sink in...!

I decided to delete all that I've written and do a repost instead. Actually it's been as such for a long time... tad too long I guess. There're quite a number of instances where I actually wrote but ended up not posting them... well.

I know I'll have to start somewhere. And there's none better than to end off this time with thanksgivings before I take a rest.

I'm thankful that God has sustained me through the past weeks as He's always been. Physically I was down and out some time back... but was able to bounce back pretty quickly. Things have grown less hectic work wise, and I was able to deliver most of what was required of me.

Thankful that amidst all the things needed to be done at work and in preparations for our wedding, that I'm given the time to unwind together with Char. :)

Thankful too.. to see the boys growing up, learning to make decisions, take personal responsibility... responding to the things said... and generally feeling more connected with a number them, especially with those on my level in the boarding programme and some of my current mentees in day school. There're some whom I'm wrecking my brains as to how I can really connect with them... hopefully wisdom would be given me in due time! :)

Thankful to be able to hitch rides to and from the airport last monday so that I could see the boys off without too much of a disruption to my sleep unlike the previous times... thankful for the flexible timings such that I'm able to catch some of the water polo guys' matches... it's been a tremendous time seeing them fight it out in the pools... It's been some time since the national track and field games many years ago when I sense such a school pride within me; the way the 'C' division boys fought and persevered in the finals brought back moments of such for me. :)

Thankful for the time spent with Dori after her bone marrow test on Thursday... thankful that her blood counts were okay and that she's finally able to go through a bone marrow test without general anesthesia. We had lunch and caught the legends of Chun Li together after that... plotless show lei... but that's not the point. It was good time catching up with her since we don't usually get to anymore.

Thankful for the service this morning... for the time of worship. It's been sometime... really. :) Visited dad and mom after lunch and some wedding preparation discussions with Faith, our wedding coordinator. Aunty Witwit was helping mom exercise by sitting her up when we arrived. Showed her our small wedding album... heartening to see her use her hand to flip the pages. :) We went on to read the Bible to her... something that Char started some months back... something which I couldn't bring myself to do so back then. Decided to join in the reading from this week onwards... she would read the narrative parts while I read out all the conversations using different voices... was an attempt to make mom smile or laugh apart from that deadpan face that she gives all the time... but yeah, didn't work. Interestingly, I found the 'exercise' of reading the Word very invigorating for myself, especially when I'm reading it in collaboration with my dear dear... think this shall be something that we'll enjoy doing more and more! :D

Mom smiled in the end... but it was in response to my silliness la. Haha...

I gathered some of the boarding programme boys to prepare them for an event which they're going to be involved in tomorrow... it ended with them taking quite a bit of random shots. It still amazes me everytime I think of my first point of contact with them three years ago... and how time has flown past and how they would be graduating from high school soon... and how a non subject teaching staff like me would have such a privilege to work with them throughout... Hmm. How not to be thankful? Haha...

Dear dear sent me an email tonight... it's really as though God's using her to affirm and touch me. Have asked her for permission to post bits and pieces of that mail... shall end off with it... thankful. :)

Dear dear it really touches my heart to see how you didn't give up trying to make mum laugh this afternoon ... even though I know you must have been really hurt and sad and helpless to see her unhappy face. Yet you didn't let that feeling of helplessness stop you .. and continued making a silly billy of yourself till she eventually laughed. :) Dear dear, for that, you are my hero. I guess it must be hard for you to see her looking so men4 men bu le ... especially when I think of how upset you are whenever I'm not happy. But I'm so glad dear, to see her wanting to hear us read the Bible .. to see her desire for God's word. I don't know how she's doing with Pa .. and I sense maybe there's lots of sadness and anger and frustration in her. Maybe even despair. But as long as she wants to hear God's word .. then it must still be okay, somehow. Cos His word doesn't go out void ... but restores the soul.

Dear dear .. how amazing. I looked up the verse tt came to mind, and was led to Isa 55. This is the word that Pa has for us this day ... savour it dear, and let it comfort your soul :)

⁸ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

⁹ "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

¹³ Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

Dear ... so exciting! Today as I read tt bit in John abt the paralysed man, I realised why he had to wait 38 yrs. Because God had a certain timing for Jesus to come to earth .. for e Jews to be scattered and for the Roman empire to be built .. so that when Jesus did come, the maximum number people would hear about Him. Do you know, it was the Romans who really set communications going all over the world?? Why does your mum have to wait so long ... dear dear, Papa must have His good reasons! I realised that in Him ... no life is ever wasted. No years, no circumstances are ever wasted. Because as long as we live and see things in His eyes, we can rejoice, and give thanks, because His will is being done.

I'm praying for her dear, tt God will be her very present comfort, even in the smallest things like congested throat or sores. That she will be a witness to Aunty wit wit .. did u know tt Auntie wit wit has been listening to the Bible readings? She stays to listen sometimes, quite often in fact. I'm praying that she won't be discouraged or disappointed that she can't be more active in preparing for yr wedding .. but tt she will give thanks and rejoice that God has given her such a son. Tt she will rejoice and give thanks because God is good, that He's given a hope and a future to your family through our marriage .. for the possibility of future generations that will grow up knowing Him and shining for Him. That through her life many will be blessed .. as they see God's hand upon her. That Pa will give us all a strong, steady and joyful spirit to see us through when times are tough :)

For His thoughts are not our thoughts ... how thankful we can be for that. hee! :)

I want to pray for u too dear dear. I give thanks to Pa for the tenderness and grace that He's given you. For the sensitivity of spirit and the heart of worship that He's given you. For the heart of love that He's given that you may love and protect those under your care. I pray tt He'll give you much wisdom, and renew your heart and mind daily to know His will and His word .. that you will be sanctified by it. That you will be blessed by His word as you walk in His paths, never straying to the left or the right. That your students will be blessed because of your righteousness before God. That I will be blessed because of your righteousness before Him. That your family will be blessed too :) That you will be given a love and gentleness towards the unloveable .. even your peers and colleagues. That you will be changed to be more like Him each day. That is my prayer for you dear dear .. you who shall be my beloved husband :)