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This must have been the longest period of time that I've ever written a post here... I realised that I didn't write one even when I was on my 7-day ILI medical leave... ><" Haha... well. Life's gotten really, really busy... that's for one. And no, I don't think that it's because of my new marital status. Somehow there just seems to be more and more to do at work, so much so that I've had lesser and lesser time to focus on the majors in life.

And the irony... is that somewhere down the line I got perceived as not doing much, and in a bid to help justify my existence, I was given this and that, that and this... well. Thankful thing is that this should be ironed out soon... and that those who need to know what I'm doing know what I'm doing.

Frankly... perhaps I should have fought harder for the retention of the hub. I thought I could bolster the effects.. but now that I'm feeling it, it made me wonder if it really would have been better if I asked to stay put there. All forms of informal chats and meetings with the guys have been cut as a result, and given the non classroom teaching nature that I have with them, it basically means that there's no more official reason or need for us to communicate anymore. In an age when their reliance on structures supersedes that of their ability to construct, I'll just have to make do with whatever that's been built. Even in the boarding programme, I can see how with the new cycle and the breaking up of floors for the previous batch, we've kind of lost the kind of communication that we used to have... as individuals and as a group.

It's a general feel that my communications with them have taken a dip... and I must confess that it's taking a little toil to build up new structures with new batches... only to know that they may not last and would be broken up before they expire naturally (ie graduation). Oh well... In any case, I shall and must be back to trust that wherever I'm led to, there I must give of my best... and the rest, I know is not in my hands. Just that everytime I look back, I would miss the times of familiarity...

Which brings me to those who somehow went beyond those structures... some needed a little structure in the beginning but soon stepped beyond. These are the ones I know I'll probably see for a pretty long while... perhaps even lifelong. But I'm learning not to take it for granted and will seek 'to aspire to inspire before I expire", something that's been carved in my heart ever since I learnt of it at LEE Community College. For the majority of them, I've considered myself to have expired already. Kind of had it affirmed when one student frivolously gave the impression that my words and counsel lack substance to most of them... and even though he insisted that he was just joking and I was taking it too seriously, I know there's a tinge of truth to what's said. After all, I am lacking in a personal relationship with most of them. To most, I'm just an online presence whom they would just walk by without an acknowledgement in real life. Some might have seen and appreciated the efforts... but at the end of the day, there is probably no efficacy to the words written. Well.. whereas subject teachers are able to gauge their effectiveness in their teaching by their students scores in tests and exams and counsellors by the specific changes of the counsellees, there isn't much, in this context, that I can base on to know if all that's been said and done actually mattered... and to what extent.

Which is causing this ambivalence in me these days whenever I wanted to write to them. And with the increased amount of work, it seemed pretty convenient for me to use busyness as a reason not to eventually write... even on this site.

Well... now that I've broken this inertia, let's see how it'll go. Things will only get busier now that I've resumed my masters course (with thick books to read and essays to write)... but yeah.

I AM BACK. :D For those who somehow had a smile on your face upon reaching this line, please indicate it on the tagboard as a form of feedback for moi. Thx very much.

Okay... now it's time to sleep. There're much more things that I'll like to write about in time to come... me picking up baking for one, dabbling into the world of forex is another, then there's this current plan to finally lose weight and train up for the Stanchart Marathon which I'll be running at the end of the year... Hopefully I can get some level of accountability by blogging it down here so the people around me can help spur me on... hope la. Haha...

In any case, I'll like to thank my wife who's always been there supporting me through... today's our 3rd month anniversary! xD