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With the permission from my wife, I'm currently in bed with my laptop writing this entry while she goes to sleep first. Thought I should jot down all these when things are still fresh in mind... including the emotions. By that, I don't mean I'm writing this under an intense emotional state... quite on the contrary, what I'm about to write is the product of the process of having gone through such a state... after I've gotten things sorted out, more or less. So... here goes.

The Commencement Dinner for the Batch of 2006-2009 Hwa Chong Institution (High School) came and went by in the blink of an eye at the Hilton Hotel just now. As much as it was a significant event to many, if not all, of the students who were there, it was too, to me. 2006 was the first year I re-entered my alma mater; I had the privilege of interacting with half of the secondary one cohort then for a period of a term or so. Subsequently was given the opportunity to interact with half the cohort once again two years later in their upper secondary years, with closer interaction with some of them in the capacity of a project or an affective mentor.

It has been both a sweet and a bittersweet experience with this very first batch... but I don't regret the way I've poured my energies into them, though I must confess that I seriously don't think I have that kind of physical and more importantly, the emotional capacity to do so for the subsequent ones. Well... till I get myself better attuned to my inner workings I guess! Haha...

Sweet because... even as a non-subject teaching 'teacher', even though there are no concrete 'exam' results to gauge if what you've been doing and teaching has indeed proven beneficial to the students' growth, I take their return of gratitude as a temporal indicator and feedback to know that they've at least gotten hold of something. A better indicator would definitely come in the years to come, in junior college for the short run, and in life for the long, when the roots are firmly anchored and when the trees have more or less grown up. For now, I've got to say that I've been surprised many a times by the wonderful gestures from some of them, some whom I've not had the chance to interact more with since their sec one days. Some of them wrote really heartfelt words (ie specfic, non-cliche) for my wedding and for teachers' day; some gave a little gift each year without fail.

Bittersweet because... there would be some who would make you feel that you're pouring water through a broken cistern; you don't exactly see results and you don't receive any form of an indicator at best... and at its worst, it makes you feel that all things said and done were in vain.

This post is dedicated to all the students in this batch who've made a positive difference in me through my stint these past few years. The songs presented at the dinner together with the montage - both were written specifically for such a time as the dinner, and it's definitely something original and belonging solely to the batch of 2006 - 2009.

It is inevitable to be losing a part of the familiarity you sense in school next year as this batch moves on over to the college section. Maybe it's something that veteran teachers have gotten used to... or maybe it's just the sentimental me. Even in the Boarding Programme, things are definitely not going to be the same. I already have an inkling as to who are the ones who would probably keep in touch when all the structures have been taken away... and who would move on and not return. Then again, I should just let time tell... (:

Okay it's finally time for bed. Originally wanted to come out with a list of students who've made me feel the work that I'm on and at as worthwhile... but I think that would take quite a substantial amount of time to do so... so I'll leave that out for now. Will write in time to come! :)

So... this is it. Thanks for the times!