I took some time to read through my past years' year-end entries (2003, 2004, 2005, 2005's Thanksgivings, 2006 (1), 2006 (2), 2007, 2008 (of sort)) and realised that I haven't been as reflective of late... especially in the area of thanksgiving, ironic but true. And instead of rushing to finish my essay which will be finally due this coming Monday, I shall take this time on Christmas day to recount the blessings that God has given the past two years... yes, the past two years because I realised that I didn't exactly give a good account last year... Yep. So here goes. :)

2008 and 2009 have been remarkably different from previous years... I would say that 2008 marked the first huge change of phase for me ever since God came into my life in 2001. It was only after I've left WEB (my church's youth ministry) in early 2008 that I really realised how huge a part of my life the ministry and the youths have been to me the past many years. For the past years, it's always been interacting with the youths week in, week out, meeting them on weekdays for fellowship and discipleship, the weekends for service and more fellowship... all these changed in 2008 when I was led to move on. Today, I got to meet some of them at the Christmas service... they've all grown up now. Some have grown distant (as long it's not to God! Haha..)... whereas for some it's just a matter of catching up. Saw one of them who left but was here today because of an invitation from a friend... when God pursues there'll be no hiding! :)

Am thankful for the privilege to have served in WEB from 2002 - 2007. As I read through my past year's reflections, I realised how much God has taught me through the service in the ministry... and how much of what I'm currently doing in the various areas are seemingly an extension and continuation of that service, be it with youths... or in the area of music.

Which brings me to my current work at my alma mater. Come to think of it, it really can't be attributed to sheer coincidence I guess... how affective mentoring and boarding programme mentoring sprung forth exactly in the year which I entered the school officially, and how I eventually got the privilege to mentor a great bunch of students apart from my counselling work. For one, I'm really thankful and grateful to be blessed with a wonderful reporting officer and mentor who believed in me. It was a totally new initiative we were into... and as a newbie he probably did not have to take my words into consideration but he did - he made me feel very much part of the initiative and left me to do what I had to do... and it came as a total surprise for me in March this year when I realised I'd been given a very huge performance bonus (the *jaw drop* kind).

I have to confess that my introversion and my shyness (this I shan't hide) didn't really bode well for my relationship with my other colleagues. Not that they're bad (not at all!), but I would think that many of these relationships could have been better if I've actually taken the steps to energise myself to interact with them. Mmmm I'm beginning to think that I've been subconsciously saving these energies up for the boys instead! Haha... having said this, I'm thankful for the friendships that God has blessed me with some of my colleagues, especially those interested in throwing starfishes into the open seas! :P

I'm really thankful for my students. As much as I would like to reach out to know more, I'm beginning to find that this introversion is given me so that I may learn to focus on knowing lesser of them... but better. Still, I find it irky that I know quite a number of them and yet not really knowing, especially with this year's secondary three batch. It's something that I'm learning still, to take things as they come, and not force things to happen ie communicating with students for no rhyme or reason.

Really glad to have known a great bunch of them, be it in the midst of mentoring them in school, in projects or in the boarding programme. I'd some of them from my first graduated batch over at my place for a Christmas dinner gathering just two evenings ago; it's a joy to see many of them turning up and having a good time of catching up. It's hard to imagine that these bunch would become professionals in their respective fields in less than ten years with some probably getting married by then... it'll trully be a privilege to witness things as such - as much as transference is concerned, it really feels like parenting coming early! Haha...

Seriously? God has given me this bunch of people, that I may learn to articulate the gospel to them not so much in words, but in my everyday actions and interactions with them, to demonstrate Christ's attributes of love, grace, peace, patience and mercy giving unto them, and to pray for them... to trust that God would touch their individual lives in His perfect timing. Sometimes it's just so hard to articulate all my wishes for them apart from getting good grades and doing well in society in the future given the environment where certain things are to be muted of sorts... but in all these, I'll hope and trust that our heavenly Pa knows what's best. (:

Which brings me to Char... and natually so, which I'm really very, very glad about! :D A dear brother in Christ asked me how my marriage with Char has been when I caught up with him not long ago. I used a term not many would have used - redeeming.

I really can't imagine how this phase of life would have been without Char. She has been the best helpmate... my best helpmate, buddy and friend. God has blessed me with her as His earthly representation, walking with me through practically all areas of my life, especially in my family and in my work... and in my walk with God Himself. And as I looked back at how we first met many years ago and see how we've both individually grown so different from that first days we met, I'm just glad to see how He's been moulding us specially for each other. (: Even though we haven't got that many opportunities to be 'working together' in our service to God, I give thanks everytime we have the opportunity to do so. :)

To me, our wedding on the 30th of May this year bears testament to God's faithfulness in our lives, more than anything else. We would have opted for a small and hassle-free wedding... but God decided to stretch our faiths. Char and I decided to go ahead to invite as many of our friends and acquaintances as possible, knowing that apart from funerals, weddings are the one of two occasions we could invite so many people (and the only one with us around physically!) to witness God's faithfulness in our lives and perhaps have the opportunity to know Him better.

We are really grateful for the many who volunteered their services, from the planning stage all the way to the day of the wedding itself. Personally, I'm really wowed by my students' response in becoming ushers on that day... and for the string ensemble's request to play at our wedding luncheon... and also the two wonderful tier-ed cakes - the one at the luncheon prepared by a dear sister's mom and the one at the dinner by Char's grandma. Some people may attribute such goodness to good karma... but we know we're not deserving of all these. All good gifts are from above...

Char and I know that they're given as blessings, and as we've trusted, God provided. There were moments of doubt wondering if the sanctuary would really be filled, wondering if people would really come witness our matrimony, wondering if the entire costs would be covered... He showed his faithfulness through all these, and even with an entire empty table at our dinner, we were able to cover all wedding costs on the dot by the generous givings from our relatives and friends, no more, no less.

2009 also marks the year I return to complete the Masters phase of my postgraduate masters degree in social sciences (counselling). Am totally relying on His grace and mercy to carry me through... it's been some years since I've written serious acadmic writings, and doing them with all the references thrown in just isn't exactly my cup of tea... unfortunately! From time to time I'll still be casting doubt as to whether I'll be able to finish it successfully... He's been encouraging me thus far with a distinction and high distinction for my first two essays thus far. I'm currently procrastinating on the third one with the fourth one due very soon as well... every step in this area is really a step of faith. My graduation next August would therefore be yet another milesone that He'll be laying in my life, if it's His will.

I've also become more active with Oops! Asia this past two years or so, having the privilege of some of my songs being used to minister. God has given me, through this music ministry, the opportunity to fellowship with likeminded brothers and sisters in Christ who use music as a medium to communicate God's message of love to His children. More importantly, and I think all who're in the ministry would agree, that God has given us this ministry to draw ourselves first and foremost closer in our journeys with Him... and for that I can't be thankful enough. I'm spurred to be more involved! :)

Family wise, I'm thankful for the way God has sustained my parents and my sister despite a rather tumultuous year. Mom's condition has been stable through the year... and as for Dori, she's responding to the trial drug and remains in remission. Often stretched in our finances, I'm thankful for the generous givings by my maternal extended family and the love gifts by various ones through the years. God gave the opportunity for me to share my walk and my family's journey in the form of a workshop in a youth camp towards the end of the year... and it was personally a good time of consolidation for me. Amazingly, the usually stage-fright me didn't break a sweat as I recounted the journey thrice to three different youth crowds that evening. (:

Almost like a good end to an eventful year, 2009 marks the year I've completed a full marathon. This means a whole lot to me especially when it comes to my walking with God. Once again, He's shown me what's seemingly impossible for me to do can be possible, just as how He's led me to get out of my shell time and again the past years. More importantly, I'm reminded that it's not about just starting well... but to finish well. Gonna do more runs in the year to come! :)

Wow... this has got to be the longest entry I've ever typed this year! Haha... how will 2010 look like? I won't know for now... and actually given all the projected workload, I'm not really very much looking forward in this aspect, but then again there are many things to look forward to, like many more good days spent with Char, students to mentor, new students to meet, friendships to kindle and rekindle... and something in particular that God has placed in my heart to work on... all in Pa's hands ba! :)

Have a blessed Christmas (my 9th CHRISTmas thus far! :D) and a good 2010 ahead everyone!

Stayed over at my in-law's place the night before; woke up at about 4am and had breakfast comprising a sandwich, a granola bar and a berocca drink. It's really different this time round compared to the half marathon I did four years ago in 2005 - it was rather haphazard then without much preparations before or during the race. There's quite a bit of planning this time round. Was a bit concerned of the need to go poo poo in the middle of the race if I don't do so before... but thankfully the need didn't come. Haha...

And this year it's like a family affair with Dad (in-law), Dear dear and Charlene taking part as well! I was really inspired to seriously consider running a full one after seeing Dad complete his very first marathon at the age of 50 last year. :)

Dad drove us there - we parked at SMU and walked over to the Esplanade where we (Dad and I) joined in the throngs of blue (I'm one of the odd ones clad in orange running vest haha) towards the starting point. It probably took us fifteen minutes or so after the official start time before we actually reached the starting line.

Images from my 2005 half marathon started flashing back somehow as I started the race... and I kept telling myself not to end up in the state of walking long distances like what I did then. The plan of taking short planned breaks in between worked out pretty well, though it was a little hard to keep to the scheduled breaks towards the end because I usually ended up needing them earlier than expected... :X

One huge revelation for me is that I've been under-running; I've been using the Nike+iPod for the past year to gauge my runs and timings... brought it along to the race to track my timings. The device gave a further distance reading than the actual distance covered; it read about 4km when I had only ran past the 3km signboard. Was quite demoralising at the start upon this realisation... then I decided to focus on the actual distances and use the device to track timing. Who knows... the device stopped recording halfway through and automatically paused itself once in a while. :( So on top of inaccurate distance, it stopped giving me accurate timing as well... bleah. I think it would have been quite amusing noticing this person looking at his device and pressing it every once in a while while running... hahah.

The plan was to take scheduled walk-breaks 6-5-5-4-4-4-3-3-3-3-2... I think I only followed the first half. Haha... There wasn't any drink station at the 11km mark though, so in the end it turned out to be more like 6-6-5-5-then anyhow whack already. Kept on drinking, kept on eating the power gels... still can't really stand the salty taste of what are supposed to be sweet flavours??

The huge difference this time round is that I didn't run out of breath... it's more of the legs not having the matching strength I guess. And so... running resolution for 2010 would be to lose a decent amount of weight (so I don't have that much to carry while running) and to train up the legs. I've probably hit 5hrs or so this time round... will only know the actual timing two days later. Shall aim for 4:30hrs or so for next year ba. :)

Dad bettered his timing from last year... Dear and Charlene finished their 10km rather comfortably. We're all finishers! :D One of the reasons why I picked up long distance running is because of its parallelism to life, how life is just like a long distance marathon... where at times you'd need to pace yourself, take a rest, rehydrate... encourage others on... and most importantly, knowing that you'll cross the finishing line. I probably can go on to do more marathons to come... but the one marathon that I hope I can persevere in finishing well would be the marathon of life, that at the end of the day I would be able to say that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

Which finishing line are you heading to?

Life without Jesus is like running a marathon blindfolded. The route is unmarked and you have no idea where the finish line is.

Life with Jesus is like running the same marathon.
But you have a buddy who can see and is constantly giving you water, nutrition and directions... and all the while telling you what a great job you are doing and how wonderful the party afterward will be! - Tracy K

Life without Jesus is like running on a treadmill going nowhere and bored silly. Life with Jesus is like running the marathon in the Olympics and winning the gold. - Julie G

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders/ and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith - Hebrews 12:1,2