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(Luke 9:23, Psalm 34:8, Matthew 5:8, Psalm 27:4)

Verse 1:
Somewhere deep inside
There is a longing for
For a love that's so pure
That it's worth the dying for

But there're so many things
Crowded in this life
The many things of this world
They keep me occupied

Pre-Chorus
There're times You've made me realise
Nothing on earth compares to You
In moments like this I find myself
Runnin' to You

Chorus
I deny myself, take up my cross and follow after You
Desiring none, none but You my Jesus
Lord I give my life, all to You, for I've tasted You are good
I want more of You, more of You
Make my heart pure everyday so that I may see Your face
In the beauty of Your Holiness, I stand amazed

Verse 2
One thing I ask of You
This is what I seek
That I may dwell in Your house
All the days of my life

To gaze upon Your beauty
To seek You in Your temple
I know I'm not my own
I know I'm not alone

Pre-Chorus
And once again I realise
Nothing on earth compares to You
In moments like this I find myself
Runnin' to You

Chorus
I deny myself, take up my cross and follow after You
Desiring none, none but You my Jesus
Lord I give my life, all to You, for I've tasted You are good
I want more of You, more of You
Make my heart pure everyday so that I may see Your face
In the beauty of Your Holiness, I stand amazed

~ 22 January 2009

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It took some time after the initial strains and exhaustion upon completing the 42.195km that gladness started to set in. There came a point my emotions were high till I almost welled up... no kidding. Haha... Who would have imagined that a person who's obese through his adolscence, sedentary and all... would eventually pick up jogging and complete a marathon thereafter? All things are possible through Christ who strengthens us yeah! ;)

Stayed over at my in-law's place the night before; woke up at about 4am and had breakfast comprising a sandwich, a granola bar and a berocca drink. It's really different this time round compared to the half marathon I did four years ago in 2005 - it was rather haphazard then without much preparations before or during the race. There's quite a bit of planning this time round. Was a bit concerned of the need to go poo poo in the middle of the race if I don't do so before... but thankfully the need didn't come. Haha...

And this year it's like a family affair with Dad (in-law), Dear dear and Charlene taking part as well! I was really inspired to seriously consider running a full one after seeing Dad complete his very first marathon at the age of 50 last year. :)

Dad drove us there - we parked at SMU and walked over to the Esplanade where we (Dad and I) joined in the throngs of blue (I'm one of the odd ones clad in orange running vest haha) towards the starting point. It probably took us fifteen minutes or so after the official start time before we actually reached the starting line.

Images from my 2005 half marathon started flashing back somehow as I started the race... and I kept telling myself not to end up in the state of walking long distances like what I did then. The plan of taking short planned breaks in between worked out pretty well, though it was a little hard to keep to the scheduled breaks towards the end because I usually ended up needing them earlier than expected... :X

One huge revelation for me is that I've been under-running; I've been using the Nike+iPod for the past year to gauge my runs and timings... brought it along to the race to track my timings. The device gave a further distance reading than the actual distance covered; it read about 4km when I had only ran past the 3km signboard. Was quite demoralising at the start upon this realisation... then I decided to focus on the actual distances and use the device to track timing. Who knows... the device stopped recording halfway through and automatically paused itself once in a while. :( So on top of inaccurate distance, it stopped giving me accurate timing as well... bleah. I think it would have been quite amusing noticing this person looking at his device and pressing it every once in a while while running... hahah.

The plan was to take scheduled walk-breaks 6-5-5-4-4-4-3-3-3-3-2... I think I only followed the first half. Haha... There wasn't any drink station at the 11km mark though, so in the end it turned out to be more like 6-6-5-5-then anyhow whack already. Kept on drinking, kept on eating the power gels... still can't really stand the salty taste of what are supposed to be sweet flavours??

The huge difference this time round is that I didn't run out of breath... it's more of the legs not having the matching strength I guess. And so... running resolution for 2010 would be to lose a decent amount of weight (so I don't have that much to carry while running) and to train up the legs. I've probably hit 5hrs or so this time round... will only know the actual timing two days later. Shall aim for 4:30hrs or so for next year ba. :)

Dad bettered his timing from last year... Dear and Charlene finished their 10km rather comfortably. We're all finishers! :D One of the reasons why I picked up long distance running is because of its parallelism to life, how life is just like a long distance marathon... where at times you'd need to pace yourself, take a rest, rehydrate... encourage others on... and most importantly, knowing that you'll cross the finishing line. I probably can go on to do more marathons to come... but the one marathon that I hope I can persevere in finishing well would be the marathon of life, that at the end of the day I would be able to say that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

Which finishing line are you heading to?

Life without Jesus is like running a marathon blindfolded. The route is unmarked and you have no idea where the finish line is.

Life with Jesus is like running the same marathon.
But you have a buddy who can see and is constantly giving you water, nutrition and directions... and all the while telling you what a great job you are doing and how wonderful the party afterward will be! - Tracy K

Life without Jesus is like running on a treadmill going nowhere and bored silly. Life with Jesus is like running the marathon in the Olympics and winning the gold. - Julie G

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders/ and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith - Hebrews 12:1,2

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This beautiful story was written by a doctor who worked in Africa.

One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labour ward; but in spite of all we could do, she died, leaving us with a tiny, premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to run an incubator). We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous draughts.

One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates). "And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways.

"All right," I said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from draughts. Your job is to keep the baby warm."

The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died.

During prayer time, one ten-year-old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. "Please, God" she prayed, "Send us a hot water bottle today. It'll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon."

While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, "And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?"

As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say "Amen"? I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything; the Bible says so. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from the homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever, received a parcel from home.

Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there on the verandah was a large 22-pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes.

I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box.

From the top, I lifted out brightly-coloured, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a batch of buns for the weekend. Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the.....could it really be? I grasped it and pulled it out. Yes, a brand new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried.

I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, "If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!"

Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully-dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves
her?" "Of course", I replied!

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months, packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "that afternoon".

"Before they call, I will answer." (Isaiah 65:24)

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost, but a lot of rewards.

Let's continue praying for one another.

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"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
- Isaiah 40:28-31

God's mercies are new every morning...

Great is His faithfulness...

Great is His faithfulness.

(:

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It's been the third day since I've been trying out a new weekday routine... so far so good. Because of the nature of my work, my working hours in the day had been augmented to start from 10am and end at 3pm... but yes, there are time constraints aplenty. I've recently taken in new mentees in school... and it's a pretty hopeless situation to have them meet me in between my official working hours either as individuals or in groups.

And so... you know those 'mentos' moments? Haha... in lieu of marriage life which is to come soon (hur hur hur), it would be better to make good use of the morning time - would be meaningless for Char to wake up by herself and go off to work while I sleep in.. yeah. So now I've been waking early the past few days... quite a refreshing experience I must say, having not done so for quite some time. My daily dose of mini breakfast now comprises a cup of freshly brewed oolong tea and a piece (or two) of digestive biscuits. If time permits, I'll do my daily devotion before meeting my mentees in school (about 5-8 minutes walk)... or I'll do so after meeting them, like what I'm doing now, back in the apartment.

I've been trying to fit in exercise into the next slot... so far so good. Gonna wrap this up soon and stick to my exercise schedules! Haha... hopefully I'll slim down considerably before the big day comes. :P

Then it's back to school for work... nowadays I find it getting more and more administrative like and I do sense that my exposure with the boys is shrinking considerably... something that I have yet to be comfy with. But I know that I cannot afford to spread my energies too broadly, lest I shortchange those who are under my charges officially. Even in boarding school... I feel pretty bad that I've been enclosing myself in a shell these days. There are many things which I want to do but am not finding that energy to do so... good thing is that some of them take initiative to chat up and drop by to chill in the midst of their busy workload... some simply keep to themselves; well.. there are many things which I miss... many things which were so last year, which were not so as this new year starts. We all grow and have different priorities I guess.

I miss the bunch of kids in church. Those memories of spending time together, sharing thoughts... fragments of days past seem distant, yet near. I am heartened though... to see and know that most of them are still walking the walk, getting together... and I was genuinely touched when how one of them messaged to say that the whole bunch of them couldn't wait to see Char and I tie the knot. Haha...

Changes. I must keep on reminding myself that we go through changes all the time. Seasons change... people change. Just as how hard it was to let go of what used to be.. the wonderful times serving in youth ministry... I must constantly learn to let go and let God. This sec four batch would graduate... the current sec three batch would move up... a new sec three batch would be formed... the dynamics would be very different then. Then again, how things change, I wouldn't know. Then there's back to studying... the setting up of a new family... new dynamics, new seasons... in all things, it's a comfort to know that the everlasting God remains faithful through it all.

I haven't been the best of a disciple or a follower these days... some days I really feel like the prodigal son.

The only difference is that he didn't know that his father was waiting with open arms.

He didn't just wait with open arms... He ran... He ran towards his son.

Haha... God must be planning this weird little discourse, from writing about new routines to this!

In all circumstances... give thanks. :)

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Hey people. (:

Nah... I wasn't gone. It's just that there's so many things happening... it's really been the busiest december - january period I've ever had in my entire life... surely hoping that it'll be the busiest and that it won't get any busier the same time next year! Haha...

Time became so scarce for me that blogging became a luxury... it's funny how I am resisting the urge to launch photoshop to do a little photo montage of all the things that's been happening! Haha... but seriously, so many things went by so fast these few weeks... am just thankful that I was able to squeeze time to upload them and categorize them properly.

It's been the busiest (oh no I just realised I've just reiterated it) season thus far... and it was till this afternoon that I was able to take a little breather at work even though there's much left to be done... but somehow I just did - took the breather, that is.. and feeling good about it. Haha... it was a mayhem in december before the new school term started. Information came in late... I wasn't able to create what I ought to create... there were things that had to be done manually... in an awfully painful manner that no one can really understand until he's actually doing it... but hey, I'm thankful for my boss who saw me through the times. The weekend after school reopening? I think he stayed up with me to work through certain documents... when he didn't have to.

Then there's this event which I thought I wouldn't be directly involved in after assigning the respective roles... but there were loopholes and gaps that I saw which I couldn't simply just ignore... it fell through eventually still... seemingly. As I scoured through the web all I found were negative comments... but I'm still hoping that all that's done had benefited some in a right manner, even though it can be quite intangible for now. Cryptic paragraph I know... well.. yeah. :)

My sec four boys are all wearing the college beige uniform and long pants... it still gives me a rather 欣慰 feeling when I see them in this new outfit. Sometimes I wonder if I would feel the same for subsequent batches after this one... the very first whom I've known since they were in sec one.

I am thankful for the privilege of working with them... there are a couple of them whom I've grown closer with through the four years of knowing one another... seeing them grow, partaking in their joys and their sorrows. I am thankful for how He's allowed me to get to know some of them better and subsequently earned the right and trust to speak into their lives, knowing that I bring no ill intentions but what I feel is best for them. Some worked out for the better while some turned sour in my opinion... and funnily, it's still something that I harp on from time to time, wondering if I could have used a different approach, wondering if I should have worked on building a deeper relationship and friendship before speaking. Well... at the end of the day, I must remind myself of how tumultuous a period (15-18 years old) this is for them.

I am constantly mindful of the possibility of neglecting the incoming batch of sec threes; I wonder at the possibility of knowing each of them (253 of them) given my workload and schedules... and I think I'll be arriving at the decision of simply relying on God's strength to do so in His timing. I don't think I can be intentional about knowing everyone... but what I can do is to constantly step out of my introvert shell and initiate small talks when the opportunities arise.

It can be a rather exciting time if things work out come to think of it... I shall be committed to the boarders under my mentorship and also my mentees in school, all whom I have yet to meet up officially this year. And then I'll probably be getting a couple of new mentees as well... just hoping that I won't be bogged down by other things at work so that I can properly plan and work out my time with them... see how bah. :)

Thankful for the short trip of respite with Char and her family to Pulai Springs in Johore over the Christmas weekend.. it was a good time of refreshing, of getting away from the work that was blaring down. Secret Recipe in Malaysia's so cheap la!! Ate meals complete with a Secret Recipe cake and still it costs less than ten bucks per person! Haha.. visited Kukup after ten plus years.. I think we went to the same seafood place that I went to back then! Haha...

Then it was Senior WEB's "At The White Line", a celebration to see the seniors moving up to RAYs, the young adult's ministry in church. It's amazing to see how everyone has grown... and more than just the age... the maturity. (:

School reopened... the new batch of sec threes came in. There were so many things to settle administratively I didn't have the time to properly mix around... some of my sec four boys observed that I had been rather emotionless... and it's true - there were times when all I could afford was a little wave and a little "hello"... I jokingly told some of them that I needed to conserve my energies... hahaha ah well. Or is it a sign of growing older... sigh.

Hahaha... hai.

Met up with the sons to celebrate Sam's 15th birthday at the same place where we celebrated his 14th last year... I wonder how it'll look like when it's his 25th. I don't even know if we're able to celebrate such occasions together without fail.. but if anything, I'm learning all these from someone who's been doing so for me faithfully for the past many years. Thank you... you know who you are. :)

Met up with Chris, David and Zeb to celebrate Zeb's 17th birthday last weekend after church service... and again it's amazing just how He brings people together. They were the quietest ones in my group last time and I would never imagine that I could build up something concrete with them... and all I heeded at that point of time years ago was a call to gather them to work with their individual walk with God. And as I was chewing on the sushi (ah, sounds wrong but nevermind) then... it dawned on me how much God had worked in and through me... because I knew that it really couldn't have been me doing those things years ago.

Perhaps I'm wired this way... there are many things happening around me that aren't exactly good circumstantially, but still I find it hard not to give thanks.

I used to wonder about my testimony... used to think that wow look, they have such wonderful life changing stories in Jesus Christ and yet I wasn't able to see my own... that everytime if I had to share, it would be my entire family's testimony, but never one of my own.

Then I realised that hey, there had been many transformations in my life... in my mind... in my heart. It's been many years since I've kept 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in my heart... a verse that says: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for it is God's call for you in Christ Jesus (paraphrase mine). More and more I begin to realise that whereas a situation can be the same for both persons, both have the choice to see the circumstance in different perspectives... and for me, I've learnt (or rather He's blessed) to see the thanksgiving in every situation... which I'm thankful for (SEE! Hahah...)

I have been sloppish with my spiritual disciplines of late... readings have been close to zilch whereas praying took on a more impromptu basis with me never spending time to purposefully keep others in prayer. They say confession is bad for the reputation but good for the soul... well, I guess there's really nothing to hide. There are areas in my life which I have been wrestling with... still am, and I've come to terms that I may have to wrestle with them in the long haul.

All I ask this year... is that I'll make constant and conscious choice to choose what's right and what's best, and rely on God's grace and strength to see me through.

It's true. As you grow older, more things make sense... especially the things of God. There is a reason why God calls us to take on a childlike faith... because sometimes it's really hard to believe how dire situations can change for the good.

Then I realised... that it's not about how much you can trust in a God or deity to grant you your wishes... but rather it's how much you can trust in Him who knows best... who's walked with you faithfully through the years.

Thankful. :)

Dear God,

In Jesus' name. Amen.

Thanks to all who've been dropping by. :)

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First off, pardon me for this rather long hiatus... haha. On one hand I really didn't know what to type everytime I had the opportunity to drop by... ever since I included the "frivolity" section I am mindful not to write an entry that would eventually be classified under that... Hahaha. But yeah... rather, I find that the scarcity of free time these days has resulted in lesser reflections on my part... and even at this point of writing, my schedules are already packed into the new year with just one more short break (thank God for Char - she is right la... if it's not for her I would be staring at the computer screen 24/7 this season in time... Pa is good. (: ) And yes... I should be sleeping now because I'll have to wake up very early later and make a trip back to the apartment to dump some stuff before heading down to Nick & Beck's wedding... am leading worship.

But I guess certain things that transpired casually over the course of a very good dinner tonight... they're worth a mention and an entry here - something that made me ponder... and probably would serve as a good reminder.

Char and I went for a little housewarming at a friend's place... man we were treated to a really good feast! We eased into the food and conversation began amongst those present... as stories went around, it was mentioned of a Major in an army unit whose ambition seemingly was to tekan (torment) the people under him, treating them like underlings. He would use foul words (he's a university graduate if I'm not wrong) on them and give unreasonable tasks for his men to complete... and as though there was a need to strike a balance off the negative tangent, it was then said of him that he's really devoted in his faith and goes to Bible studies four days a week.

I had a chill pass through me when the latter part was being told over the dinner table... my insides were like, eeyer... why like that...

Lest I become judgmental! Haha... I am reminded that we are all creations of God, all under construction.

The pitfall is that whereas many call upon Jesus as their Saviour, many don't quite catch the implications of the second part, when they are to acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and grow to being more and more like Him, where the fruit of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness... to name a few.

I have my fair share of personal encounters, especially this year, when I officially hold a full time job and get to interact with more people beyond church, both adults (colleagues) and youths (students).

There are colleagues who are believers whom I had rather peculiar not-so-pleasant encounters with... I had to be reminded by my immediate boss (whom I am really thankful to God for... having him as my immediate superior and mentor is like adding a thousand dollars to my salary!! Haha... :P) that I have to learn to be discerning - not all Christians are Christians - I was like. HOR. That makes sense... but I'll rather believe that they've called upon Jesus as their Savior, but perhaps not so much of acknowledging that He's Lord and that they need help in becoming more like Him...

And I must admit that I must constantly check the planks in my eye - I may not be filled with many prickly traits and attitudes on the outward, but I am reminded that God sees me from the inside out... and only He knows how irky it can be sometimes. :|

And youths? It's always been the case that it is more tolerable for me to look beyond the ignorance and incongruence for the professing youths... they are after all growing in their faith and learning what it means to follow Christ and carry His Cross. It's a joy that I'm given the opportunity even to witness the transformational power of the Cross in the lives of individuals who took that step of faith... and beyond that, got themselves discipled along the way. :)

And that... will be the mark of God working and growing us to becoming more like Him. The next chapter of the Major's life has yet to be written... probably somewhere down the road that transformation would occur. And it will probably be so for others... myself as well. And for those who've yet to know Jesus personally and not just knowing about Him from hearsay, friends, media, books and literature... there'll probably come a time as well.

Knowing Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior can be the greatest service you'll ever do to yourself.

Another Christmas is coming in a few days' time... it'll be yet another time of good cheer, of gift exchanges, of merry making, of love, joy, peace... then come January, everything returns to square one.

Or does it have to?

Know Christ... know Christmas. No Christ... you get mas. mas selamat. Haha...

Head down to Orchard Road these few days (19-25 Dec) and soak in some true spirit of Christmas! ;)

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Char and I took a bus to town after church service this morning... we went there to meet up with Uncle Wee Boon (her dad) who's running his maiden full marathon at the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon this year. Boy am I inspired! (: His sole purpose was to complete one... and he's done so at the age of 50!

Mmm looks like I should start putting words into action and aim to complete my first marathon in time to come... next year's Singapore Marathon bah. My longest thus far was the half marathon done in 2005 in the same event... Guess it's time. :)

If you've noticed, there's this Nike+ widget that I've been displaying on the new templated design - I've recently bought the Nike+ device that tracks the distance one covers using iPod... and they've this "challenge" section where you select personal running challenges to motivate yourself to run more... I've chosen this challenge set by another person to run 170km before the year ends. So far I've covered 100km or so... and so after witnessing so many runners doing their thing in the afternoon, my heart felt itchy... went back to boarding apartment where my running stuff are and set out to do a half marathon.

The sky was threatening to rain... and the weather forecast said so too. But I went anyways... and as I began to run, I just had the sense that He would hold back the rain till I'm done. It was a rather good start... then something happened halfway through. My iPod jammed. 6.22miles (approximately 10km) of record lost just like that... meaning that the 10km I just ran wouldn't be registered. For a moment I felt a bit sian hoping that I could recover that data... gave up in the end and restarted the device. Ran another 5km before returning to the apartment.

It would be great if I can continuously shave off my timings with each run... but for now, I'll be really contented if I can complete my first marathon next year... Mmm. Anyone wants to work towards completing a marathon next year too? :)

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It has been quite a season... a difficult and a different season.

Out of which... I came to appreciate more of God's unchanging love, grace and mercy... in the midst of my unfaithfulness and active rebellion. It's scary actually, to see how cold my heart could go at times... and how convenient it could be for me to attribute it, as an excuse, to busyness, to workload and all have yous.

Thanking God for God... I can see light at the end of the tunnel once again. :)

Attended the prayer for My Hope Singapore a couple of days ago and had a good time praying with an elder brother from another church (Leng Kwang Baptist if I'm not wrong). It was a rejuvenating time for me in the midst of my restarting of certain disciplines like doing quiet time, journaling and praying... and yes, a feeling of reassurance and familiarity came upon me when His Spirit touches my heart. Haha.. joy! :) And indeed, it's a joy to witness brothers and sisters coming together in this nation-wide project, and all the more to hear of some of the youths being involved in this as well.

And as I came upon this article this morning... I am thankful that despite who I am and what I've done or not done, the burden's there. Has been... will be. And right now at this station in life I know that I'm called to pray more than anything else. Knowing is one thing... acting it out is another. Do keep me in prayer, that I may be faithful in the things that I'm called to do... big or small. And that I may continue to be a good testimony wherever I'm placed.

I'll journal more soon. :)

Getting Uncomfortable
How far will you go to reach a lost soul?
by Greg Laurie

Why on earth does God choose to use people to reach people? If I were God, I wouldn't use people. I would just do the job myself.

If I were God, I would roll the heavens away, poke my face through and say, "Hello, humanity. I am God. Believe in me now, or I will kill you." Aren't you glad that I am not God? At the very least, if I were God, I would raise up an army of mighty angels to preach the Gospel. Wouldn't that be powerful? I would never use people; they are flawed. They make mistakes. They fall short. They are inconsistent. Sometimes they contradict what they say by the way they live.

But God, in His great wisdom, has chosen to use people to reach people. Jesus has given us our marching orders. He said, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:19-20, NIV). This is not optional. It is the Great Commission, not the great suggestion.

In order to be effective in sharing our faith, we need a burden for those who do not know the Lord. Jesus showed us that we are to go outside of our comfort zone and reach people of all backgrounds. He went to the woman at the well in Samaria. In Jesus' day, not only would a rabbi not talk to a woman, but a Jew would never talk to a Samaritan. If you add the fact that the woman was immoral, she had three strikes against her.

But Jesus spoke to this immoral Samaritan woman. He engaged her in conversation and reached out to her in love. He was showing us that we need to go to all people, whatever they look like, whatever their race, whatever their background, whatever their socio-economic status. All of the messages on evangelism and all of the training classes you can go to will mean nothing if you lack this simple prerequisite: A burden.

Do you really care about lost people? We have to care and reach out to these people, even if it means going out of our comfort zone. Even if it means getting extreme.

Some time ago, we were in Hawaii holding a crusade. A father and his son were at Waikiki Beach handing out fliers for the event The little boy wanted to go up to a burly, beefy biker dude. The dad looked at the guy and said, "I don't know if that's a good idea." The son was insistent and walked right up to this big guy and gave him an invitation to the crusade. The guy took what that little boy gave him, crumpled it up and threw it on the ground. That night at the crusade the father told us that when the invitation was given, the first man on the field was that biker dude--he came after all.

We all know someone who needs Christ. For you, it might be some cranky old neighbor. It might be your mom or your dad. It might be a person you can't envision ever being a Christian. She is so hard. He is so against God. You have written him or her off. Even thinking about witnessing to that person seems extreme to you.

Think again. Remember, no one is beyond God's reach. That person can come to Jesus. Pray for him; pray for her. Allow God to put a burden on your heart, and be willing to reach out as God leads you. Are you willing to be extreme for Christ? He wants to use you today.

Greg Laurie is senior pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship (independent/nondenominational), in Riverside, Calif., as well as an evangelist with Harvest crusades. He has written more than 10 books, including The Upside Down Church. He and his wife, Catherine, are parents of two children and live in southern California.

Bible verses marked NIV are taken by permission from The Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society, Colorado Springs, Colorado. © 2002 Billy Graham Evangelistic Association from the January 2003 issue of Decision magazine

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Warning: This video skit may be life changing.

Amazing love, how can it be, that You my King would die for me...
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.

Jesus died for you and me... so that in that death, we may live, and have life abundant.

You may be subscribed to a religion, or are an atheist or an agnostic, etc. But it doesn't discount the fact that He loved and died for you.

Don't wait half a century, a decade, a few years, or a minute... Consider Christ when you're given the opportunity. Ask questions. Seek earnestly and have your doubts and questions processed through with those around you whom you know are Christians and whom you see something different in them.

Because it's a promise... that as you seek, you shall find.

(thanks God's little lamb for introducing the video)

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Amazing love, how can it be... that you my king would die for me. Amazing love, I know it's true... it's my joy to honor You... In all I do, I honor You.

It's a great feeling to be ministered twenty four hours a day. Worship today in the Grace Sanctuary was splendid. Love is pure, love is kind. Most importantly, love comes from Him.