3

"Be Bowled Over By The Love Of Christ!" - AMKYF

Many a time, I questioned my free thinker status. Why wasn't I a buddhist or a christian by birth? The only reason I can think of is that I'm given the divine choice to choose. I guess I'll stay put for the time being.

Embracing a religion has its advantages. You gain friends from different facets of the community. Take Jane for example, besides us, college friends[commonly termed school friends], she has a wider scope of church friends whom she has close relationships with (I assume). All these weekly gatherings and outings once a while makes you feel you're not alone in the world. Guess that's what they're driving at. I had a fun day bowling with the usual bunch[WELL... not really] - Kelv, Slim, Val, Mountain Goat and of course Jane, though she didn't play much. She would make a very nice hostess for any function.

Before the bowling session started, a song session was held in which we sang an untitled song (The Joy That I Had??) which I assumed was an original composition. The message it basically wanted to get through was that everything comes from self within, that the world owes you nothing and the world can't take anything away from you. Meaningful indeed, though the song lasted only a couple minutes with countless loops.

For the newcomers [henceforth, those who aren't in the Youth Fellowship], we were given a survey form to fill up and a self-made momento, a wooden photo frame. For mine, the illustration showed a shoal of fishes swimming. That seem really normal to me till Jane pointed out the meaning. It was, in a way, inspirational, that the fishes swam to the left while the norm usually swam to the right, signifying the daringness to change. That really made me look at the illustration in a totally different way.

The bowling portion was insignificant[apart from me topping the rest of the bunch in the first game... only]. Jane had to leave at six. We continued till six thirty and sneaked off before the prize giving ceremony. It was really evil of us to leave just like that, especially so as an announcement was made to ask people not to leave just when we were stepping out of the bowling centre. *SO EVIL*.

We boarded the mass rapid transit. Destination - Orchard, to eventually gobble down a Burger King's Mushroom Swiss Meal. Goatie had to leave a stop earlier in Newton, the reason being that he had another meeting back in the hostel. We circulated two speculations - that it was real and we wished he had a fun time with... hehehe and secondly, that he was just trying to evade the meal. Guess we'd sort of neglected him... I guess I'd done my best to talk to him... In fact, I guess I'm the one who talked to him the most!

Though it's just a small group outing, it's a really memorable one. Guess it'll go in as one of my most memorable days in 1999. Thanks Jane, Kelv, Slim, Val and Goatie. =)

**********

Revision Status
[.....................................] 0.0%

Overweight Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO] 100.0%

Do realise these two bars have been contantly remaining constant for three days. When will I start? Well, it depends.

0

I ought to write this entry to repay the gratitude of my supportive readers. My humble apologies that I wasn't able to ramble [For I have yet reached the ultimate status of garrulously babblative] for the past two days (which might very well seem like eternity) for my mind was shrouded by nothing else but the immense amount of workload crushed upon my fragile existence by the impending deadline for ThinkQuest 1999. Ironically, this spell was cast upon by myself and till now it's still working its powers. In mortally terms, I should be dead by now. The best situation I can think of now is that I'm no less than a speckle of dust on the murky ground, awaiting levitation by some spirited soul who happens to thread past. I shouldn't be complaining. I had an exciting journey through the laborious path of ThinkQuest today and I should be bestowed upon beauty sleep, for tomorrow will be another journey, of a tougher genus, plagued with thorny tendrils and viscious vines.

There can only be decadence.

How much[and not many] things shall I sacrifice for thou,
my time, my studies, my friends? Don't you see how
you've chained me up, me! A prisoner? Loser?
The only way you can ever repay is to
allow the reaping of thy fruits, sweet and
juicy, that my coarse-driven throat is quenched to
the top. That it replenishes my long lost desire to
relight the fire, for the flaming light shines upon the
route to utopia.

I'm going to miss the class outing to Marina tomorrow.
*Sob* *Sob*

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......] 88.8%
Let's get auspicious.

Food of the Day
Char Siew & Roasted Meat Rice

Colour of the Day
White

0

Heck the innumerable reveries I slipped into today. Jaded I am. Got out of bed with a nose running like a lunatic. Skipped school again. Simply put. I am the trespasser of all rubrics.

Lament for me. I am in no mood to write.

Dad returned from Osaka today. He regretted his trip. Inevitably vented his accrued angst on us, letting the steam out slowly. Little explosions here and there now and then. He did try to put it nicely to us.

I'm exhausted. Totally.

Don't judge me.

**********

Photoshop hanged.
You have every right to blame Photoshop.
I was thinking of publishing the one with the shot tiger.
Too bad Photoshop had to hang on me.
Too bad.

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......] 85.0%
Search Engine.

Food of the Day
Cream biscuits in addition to a cup of instant coffee.

Colour of the Day
I'm seeing colours.

0

As the Chinese aphorism goes, time passes with a turn of the eye. Eeks. What a sinister translation. Ah well, as long as my message gets put across. The point I'm trying to make is that I've been a lazy bonehead for the past twenty-hour hours and that I've done nothing much but to reach my percentage quota for ThinkQuest.

I'm beginning to hate Sundays. Hope the 16th arrives soon.

Even my mouse decided to go against me. As punishment, I tore out its left ear. I, too, can be merciless. The wriggling remnant lies cold against the flatbed scanner right in front of me. The next best thing I can do is to press against its right ear from now on. I'm too poor to get myself another one. Sigh. I'll be rendered useless should the right ear malfunctions as well.

I'll leave you with a poem. Finally.

**********

Universal Transient

Just a traveler in this vast
world of emotions and empathy,
of many dimensions, you and me
being trapped seemingly in
one of them

Spins round and round
till infinity, you and me,
we shall see the light from within
Our predestined heritage, history
and pristine records of humanity

Bite the dust and off we'll be
in another endless flow
of time seeping by
Frolicking ends short
in a mindless, pointless stop

[Crap... total crap!]

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOO...............] 60.0%
Could have done more

Food of the Day
Sweet & Sour Fish Rice

Colour of the Day
Inevitably, I'm back to black.

0

The tumultuous period began when Mrs Scowcroft "randomly" chose me to start off the series of speeches while I was nonchalantly trying to cool myself. My fanning action must had caught her eyes(I supposed so... I was right in front of her). Duh. And there I was leaning against an unstable chair rattling off a whole load of crap which no one comprehended. Humpf. I yearn for a hole!! I guess sweating has become much of a form of art when it concerns me. The trickling never cease whenever intimidation sinks in. Oh well. Fortunately enough, I had all my pals, mostly on the last row, who tried prettily in vain to get me out of this excruciating time. I appreciate the effort guys, but I recognise my own weaknesses. Oh well.

Anyway, I was late today. By thirty seconds. My resolution for tomorrow is not to be late.

A serious leakage resulting in a tremendous drain of energy leads me to wonder if I have punctured a hole in my body, somewhere most probably too obscure to be seen. I find myself getting weaker by the day, my bones ready to shatter given a slight tattooing. Two weeks of fallow led to a lost of stamina. I wasn't able to complete the usual distance which I covered in the past (round Chinese High, uphill, blah... downhill). Sigh. I shan't dwell upon it. I'm depressed enough. Gazing at the canoeist exercising their regime at the globe didn't make it any better. Enjoyed the run though.

Off to do research for my GP essay. I realised that today's entry's a bit short but it can't be helped. Bear with it. =) I may not write anything tomorrow as the prophecy decreed, "Galvin will study for his Further Math test on the 23rd July 1999". Heh.

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOO...............] 50.0%
The train leaves this Saturday.

Food of the Day
Onion Rings. Can't control my appetite.

Colour of the Day
Black.

0

The very first time that I actually feel the predominant effects of Repetitive Strain Injury. Sigh. Must have worked on the computer for too long. In fact, I've been at it since I woke up, till now, which is 10:42pm exactly. Increment the minute by one. For now. Sigh. Make that another. What a fast typer[typist] I am... Oh make that another one.

I really wonder if I'll be able to complete the ThinkQuest project by the deadline. Sure, I managed to complete ten percent today, which goes to show how much I can churn out if I really wanted to. Sacrificed the time to revise for my Further Math test, which was what I really wanted to do initially for the weekend. The continuation of the journey of "The Hobbit" was hindered in the process as well. How many things am I going to keep on sacrificing to keep my ThinkQuest dream alive? Even my Pa's complaining that I didn't know how to set priorities right. The problem is, isn't ThinkQuest my top priority right now? The deadline's only THIRTY days away! ARGH. Heck. And where's that person who seems to have fallen off the edge of the Universe...

Much better there. You can stay off the edge for as long as you care.

Missed out on the Orchard outing today. Yeah. I'm setting my priorities right you can say that again. The guys actually managed to obtain batik shirts for the Anniversary Dinner for just thirteen dollars. Leylong leylong... Just hope what they bought fits me. I think they've gotten a blue batik hibiscus shirt for me. You know, those that senior citizens wear to Grassroots functions... Hmm. Hope the buttons won't pop. Guess I wouldn't have any use for it after the dinner.

**********

I just can't grasp the meaning of life. Mundane lifestyle oppresses. Dull ole routine depresses. Why ain't anyone seeking for a breakthrough in life? Is there really such a place called paradise? Why did the socially well-off coin this term, this noun, this place? No. The society has never been perfect. How does communication come about? Can you communicate? I know I can't.

A month has passed and I find myself staying where I am. Academically wise, linguistic wise, weight wise, feelings wise and most importantly communication wise. I'll have to conjure up an imaginary friend to keep me company. Hello there. Would you talk to me? Send me a guestbook greeting won't you? ;)

We're going to the zoo zoo zoo, how 'bout you you you, you can come too too too, we're going to the zoo zoo zoo...

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOO...............] 47.0%
There goes. Ten percent up.

Food of the Day
Nasi Lemak
(English Translation - Muslim Rice Combination Set. So lavish.)

Colour of the Day
Black.

0

Mr. Cumulonimbus spun a magnificent ominous patchwork of grayish matter over the sky this morning, marking the beginning of a bad day. Indeed. It was a very bad one. Damn.

First of all it was the inaugural lesson of the froggie, free willy series. We arrived at the pool fifteen minutes late and received no reprimand. Heh. That wasn't too bad. We didn't know we still had to report to the pool under such a weather condition. I joined the "Not so strong in swimming" group and bored myself to death. For the entire lesson, we only did two laps at the baby pool. ARGH. Should have joined the other group.

Next a tumultuous thunderstorm raged through, propelling Saturday's Math Test papers to their respective owners. Prayers fell upon deaf ears. Never mind. Somehow one way or another, the result I got today spurred me on to start on my academic revision. Let's see... I'm supposed to complete a couple of tutorials and finish revising Circular Motion today...

I'm starting on this little true-life recollection of my past. Hold on tight. I might sound childish at times.

**********

Childhood Mem'ries

(1) Teacher's Day

It was supposed to be a joyous occasion. Yes, it was, till the very end, when the celebration's over, when everyone returned and when I was left alone at the bus stop waiting patiently for the feeder bus to arrive. I was too small then to realise how precious time is. This was where it all started... (dreamy dreamy state, blurry blurry vision, envisage yourself in a moving SBS non-aircon feeder bus about to alight).

One of the syrup containers I was carrying slipped and dropped into the obscure corner of the alighting steps. This threw me into frantic anxiety. I was small then, remember. My undeveloped mind and height denied me of my ability to bend down and retrieve the bottle. The worst thing was that it jammed the doors. My eyes swelled. People from the front turned back and those at the back continued to stare. I had to swallow hard to keep my heart from pounding up my esophagus. If I had not remembered wrongly, I broke out.

Fortunately, a kind hearted man helped me out of this horrific situation by picking up the half crushed container. I quickly rushed down the bus, in the process forgot to thank him.

(2) Library Book

It was on this same feeder bus number I had my little misadventure. I actually left my school library book on the bus. Sigh. Had to pay for it, of course. The Librarian Teacher wasn't one to be trifled with.

Hmm. I guess this isn't a good idea. I guess I'll just leave this portion and scrap the rest. Or maybe I'll just write about it what I feel like it. I'll rather stick to poetry.

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOO..................] 37.0%
Changed the way the sidebars' programmed

Food of the Day
Milo Ice Cream

Colour of the Day
Black. Maybe I should scrap this section too since it's been too stagnant.

0

Ah. I actually learned a new noun that represents me wholesomely. I'm a nebbish! A timid, meek, ineffectual person! HAHA! Nah.. just kidding.

Nothing special on today. The suicidal talk wasn't of much interest. The speaker's oratorical skill was left much to my disgust. Not that I could muster up enough courage to stand in front and speak, but the speaker iterated her points so much so that it made me feel irritated. I was showing respect by staying awake. Hee. You don't need people to instill common sense into yourself, do you? Tell me when you contemplate suicide. Maybe I can offer you some guidance from Mr. Suicidalopus. Heeh.

I find myself getting more and more acquainted with the school library. Never thought I would treat it as a hangout till the beginning of this term. It's really a very conducive place for homework and all your reading pleasures, a place for chao muggers. Me? Nah... Me no chao mugger.. Me perfumed one... Hehe. You should have known it earlier than I, cause I'm always the last to realise something is good. Did my differentiation revision in it. The air conditioner should have been a little bit cooler though.

Talking about Math... Mr Chan Kok Leong is back to lecture us! Weird though. Seemed to absorb more readily. And how cool it was for him to give us so many tips on the Double Math test happening this Saturday! Now I feel much more confident, knowing what types of questions will be asked. Heh. Maybe I do have a chance in passing the test. =)

Well. Mdm Yeo's lesson was equally grueling as of any other day's. One can die of plain boredom. That's for those who don't bother with her tutorials. Stttooooop. Clarification. Not that I didn't want to bother, the tutorials were just too hard on me. Today the tutorials took another step and morphed from alien hieroglyphics to encrypted non-existent codes. A blank piece of paper would be much more interesting to look at. Nevertheless, I'll try to finish three Math tutorials today, for I need to pass my test this Saturday.

Yeah. About classroom cleanliness. This is way too unfair for us! Classes who patronise our love and pride mess around and trample on it. Tissue papers littered everywhere and tainted window panes. As if it was left to nature's hands for god knows how many billion years. Those classes should exercise some self discipline. We keep our classroom clean every week and it turns out mucky with ancient dirt every week without fail. Maybe we should learn how to dirty other people's classes as well... Hehe.. Oh. Evil evil. *grin* Nah. Would I do such a thing?

Completed my exercise routine. What a great feeling! I feel so thin! Well, like what Mingwei said, I'll be if I believe in myself. So here's to my sub consciousness. Cheers!

They sky experiences a wonderfully breath taking sunset. Heard from Mom that a comet had exploded. Now the sky boasts a myriad of mystifying colours edging towards the tints of orange. Awesome.

I'll end this entry with this piece of poetry inspired by my feelings. Duh. Wonder what'll happen to the presentation on Friday. Hopefully it'll turn out well.

**********

Friends

(I)
Met and forged
what we call a bond in
the name of fate. Substantiated
mutual understanding served as
the adhesive mandatory to
our very existence.

We would study together,
laugh in cohesion
and call each other
for the sole purpose of catching up
in the light of care and concern.

Perhaps one day this force will weaken,
but we know it's just
a matter of reinforcement.
A tint of you will always reside
in the heart of my cerebrum should
you decide to let go. Friends forever
is but a myth, a legend, a hoax.

Cherish our friendship,
my friend.

(II)
Some of us come and go
like commuters on the road.
Gush of wind too fast
it's hard to catch.
We've been together so long
it's really hard to believe
that we do not and would not want to
know one another more.

A common front brought us together
in the midst of confusion. Now that
it's gone, we go
on our separate ways
and even if we meet, we come upon
as total strangers on the road.

A greeting would be nice.

(III)
A mythical force links us together
though we hardly know one another
This is what the beginning brings -
a series of hellos and byes followed by
gradual inclinations.

(IV)
We may not know each other
but time will tell.

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOO...................] 30.0%

Food of the Day
Spaghetti. That guy gave an "underdose".
And it cost two bucks.

Colour of the Day
Black Black Black...

0

'Tis a Sunday. I'm feeling extremely sleepy. In the midst of my bluriness, I stumbled upon the lyrics of "Shakespeare In Love". Finally.

I have no drive to do anything 'cept to rot away at the moment. Guess I'll wait till tonight before I continue with ThinkQuest again. Sigh... The targeted deadline is only fourteen days away...

Anyways. I really do hope I can get into the finals again. Pardon me if I sound too materialistic, but I will never have the chance to fly again if I fail to get in. Man shouldn't invent money. Really.

Money drives people nuts. It's a wedge that tears everything apart. The overlord of super species, it possess the unnatural abilities to ignite squabbles, create false imageries and ultimately kill. Why then did people invent such a monstrous evil doer? To err is human. To err again is still human. What's more to say?

I'm contemplating if I should go catch "Two Days One Night". Nobody seems to be interested. I'm in the Science faculty remember. Most probably I'll just forget about it.

I actually pissed someone off. From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely apologise. Not that I'm lazy, not that I'm irresponsible (to a great extent), but I guess our meeting will prove unfruitful today. I shall complete my presentation, finish up the script and get it done and over with. I'm a sinner. Does that make me any thinner?

I'm overwhelmed and so disappointed in myself. I trudged to the meeting place (aka Kelv's house) in defeat. Pressed the bell umpteen times and received no response. Thought of leaving for home. I persisted, called him and got myself into his house. Malfunctioning bells. Duh.

I'm glad I went. Had such a wonderful time there and came back with Dungeon Keeper II. Heh. I'm so glad I looked so natural on video. Guilty conscience at work I reckoned, but it seemed that I acted doubly well. Keep in mind I'm a camera shy guy.

Took the long way home. Blasted the 3EB album as the bus took its toll along the darkening road. Absorbed a few pages of "Dress Gray" along the way.

Here's a little nonsensical poem dedicated to the little cute ant I saw on the bus. I hope my writing improves soon. There are millions of younger people out there who write a zillion times better than me. Inferior complex shows. Discontinuing Word of the Day. I'm being selfish here. Heh.

**********

The Ant

Dons an armor
luminous red
Lingers along
the tints of grey
Ponders about
the road ahead
The lighter shade
appeals

A stolid front
it manifests
Troops forward
in solitude
Into the light
it crawls
The lighter shade
appeals

Reaches a hill
five-fingered
Down the first trench
a soft tremble
Magnitude intensifies
a sudden jerk
The lighter shade
it flies

(Absurdity at its best)

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOO...................] 30.0%

Food of the Day
McChicken Meal

Colour of the Day
Black stays.

0

Fa la la... Fa la la...

The immediate result of not footing your cable modem bills after several warnings is, well, the dislodging of Internet connection for a couple of days. Ouch. This threw me into a plight of extreme depression and deprivation. The computers in school crawl slower than escargots, let alone the Internet connection. Sigh. I want my connection back alive!!

The Poetry book continued to draw in much uninvited attention. Seems like it has found its own group of staunch supporters. Get off my back, will ya?! Taking a science combination doesn't strip off my entity to learn something artistic, does it? I'm going to finish the book and I pray to receive no more harassment. No more, hear me?

Finally found the true meaning of multi-tasking. I'm currently concurrently reading three books. On my way to and back from school, I indulge in "The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinback. Bought back when I was in Secondary Three for compulsory reading, the book has been lying on the shelf collecting dust, layers upon layers. Now that I've regained my interest in reading, in my bag it goes. During lectures and breaks in school, I read "The Linguistic Guide to Poetry". I wonder why the school library sets its loan period to one week. Guess the school expects everyone to have undergone speed reading courses. Duh. At home, I devote about half an hour to a book entitled "Dress Gray", a militia novel by Lucian K. Truscott IV borrowed from the National Library. I hope this multi-tasking works out well.

I have been working out real hard these days in a futile attempt to punctuate my puffed up tummy. Sometimes I really think a couple of diarrheas should do the work. Humpf. The workouts seemed to work a bit, no miracles though. I have been crunching out in the living room everyday, doing sit-ups to the rhythm of "Shakespeare in Love", working with weights to the beat of techno poppies. I target to complete the process by December. Watch out for the new me. TA DA!

I'm terribly worried. The battle for academic glory ensues and I'm feeling numb about it. Not that I'm a lousy warrior, but I already feel beaten even before stepping into the killing fields. Let us anticipate my results for the Computing Test which is going to be held this Saturday.

Apprehension envelopes.

**********

The Killing Fields

Smartly dressed soldiers full of zeal
and zest. 'Tis the time of year for the real
test. Marching steadily, inch for an inch,
rifles in their trusty hands ready to binge

The Commander commands them to charge
and with all might they readily march
Into the fields they go, rifles on
some trembling hands ready to mourn

"I'm not ready for this" one pouts
"Give up and you're out" another shouts
Into the fields they go, rifles locked
in place ready to mock

Silky grass blades bled as the wind billows
Taint of reddish red overshadows the
fields of lushious green below
Into the fields they go, rifles on the
ground, bodies nowhere to be found

The bell rings for the end of test
Soldiers are soldiers no less
Out of the hall they ran, pencils in
their bag, 'tis the time to sag!

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOO...................] 30.0%
Superfast progress eh?

Food of the Day
Canteen's Fish & Chips. Everything but the fish tasted good.

Colour of the Day
Black

Word of the Day
Brought to you by Merriam-Webster Inc.

indomitable \in-DAHM-it-uh-bull\ (adjective)
: incapable of being subdued : unconquerable

Example sentence: "He has by indomitable energy overcome obstacles under which most persons would have sunk." (David Livingstone, _Narrative of an Expedition to the Zambesi_)

Did you know?
The prefix "in-" means "not" in numerous English words (think of "indecent," "indecisive," "inconvenient," and "infallible"). When "in-" teamed up with the Latin "domitare" ("to tame"), the result was a word meaning "unable to be tamed." "Indomitable" was first used in English in the 1600s as a synonym of "wild," but over time its sense of untamability turned from a problem to a virtue. By the 1800s, "indomitable" was being used for people whose courage and persistence helped them to succeed in difficult situations.

0

Sigh.

Sigh.

Everything seems to be down... the server downtime which caused me a couple of accolades, my mind which seems to screw up every now and then and my heartless(humpf) personal computer which keeps on hanging up on me. Must as well hang myself if this situation persists for the rest of the week. The grating cacophony sprouting from the midgets at the back of the processing unit drives me terribly mad. To add on to my misery, my Aunt just bought a new system furnished with technologies double that of my present one. PII450, 17.3GB HDD, 17" Monitor, etc. Comparative to mine? HAH. Would somebody donate a new computer?

I'm stressed under pressure. Just got back my Math Inventory Test. Devastation. You wouldn't believe how I fared. An S3 Faculty student getting such a grade. I should be ashamed of myself. Looking on the bright side, I guess I'll do much better the next time since I've started to like to strive academically. Heh. Hope all goes well for the common tests ensuing this week. Oh by the way, nothing really special happened in school these two days. First day of school was spent playing tennis, dozing off, erm... Humpf. Nothing else! How productive.

Borrowed this "Lingguistic Guide to Poetry" book from the school library, which generated a plethora of uninvited attention. More of annoyance. Sometimes I really wonder if it's plain ignorance that people make fun of me. No offense here. Can't I study out of my present interests? Poetry doesn't need to be applied to a specific theme only you know you narrow-minded people. If you've been visiting my site you should know. Again, no offense here. Just to let you people know how I feel.

Really under tremendous presure, a huge slice attributing to ThinkQuest. Shucks. To think I only have forty six more days to complete the half finished project.

Sigh.

Sigh.

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOO.....................] 20.0%

Food of the Day
Duck Rice. Duh.

Colour of the Day
Undefined. Ops.

Word of the Day
Brought to you by Merriam-Webster Inc.

paroxysm \PAIR-uhk-SIH-zem\ (noun)
1 : a fit, attack, or sudden increase or recurrence of symptoms (as of a disease) : convulsion
*2 : a sudden violent emotion or action : outburst

Example sentence: "In this violent paroxysm the whole top of the mountain is believed to have been swept away." (John Phillips, _Vesuvius_)

Did you know?
"Paroxysm" didn't just burst onto the scene recently; its roots go back to ancient Greek. The word ultimately derives from the Greek "paroxynein," which means "to stimulate." "Oxynein," a parent of "paroxynein," means "to stimulate" or "to sharpen" and comes from "oxys," a Greek word for "sharp" (that root also underlies the word "oxygen"). In its earliest known English uses in the 15th century, "paroxysm" denoted agitation or intensification of a disease or its symptoms. (A still-used example of that sense might be "a paroxysm of coughing.") But "paroxysm" soon took on a broader sense of "outbreak" as well, especially a dramatic physical or emotional one.

*Indicates the sense illustrated in the example sentence.

0

After the series of nightmares and a couple of days suffering from insomnia, I hereby make the following conclusions, that:

0

I have this feeling everytime I'd gone through an extended certain period of time staying at home all alone (parents and sister aside) all day without attending school. Simply put, the semester holidays. No, I'm definitely not an introvert, neither am I an extrovert. Ah. I'm "uncategorised". Didn't feel like going out. Got sick of using the computer actually. But here I am punching the dirt-filled keyboard, gazing at the minute thirteen inch display. A mockery. A graphics designer with only a thirteen inch monitor. Maybe that's why I am so good(not), cause I never let my inspirations escape through the permeable membranes of the tiny box. You believed me? HAH.

I was miraculously cured by the air-con and a couple of left over pills in addition to a panadol pill which I managed to find after scavenging though the first aid box. Felt much much better. Sorry Doc, didn't give ya a chance to pounce on me this time. Guess I'd given too much to the doctor for the past few years. It's time I learn how to cure myself - physically and mentally. I should be more outgoing, go to movies more often, do some healthy window shopping with friends, blah... Somebody close my gap??

Remorseful. Yeah. Always had this feeling after the end of a semester holiday. Being ever so tangible, the feeling crawled through my body, devouring my inner self. Now I feel so demotivated. School starts in a couple of days and I've yet started slogging through the piles of homework. All a matter of time management. Can't help but blame myself. When will I ever learn?

Rongmin called me today. A routine call to update on ourselves. We talked about how simple his job as a clerk in Mindef is and then drifted on to the dreadful topic of Basic Military Training (affectionately known as BMT). I was telling him how antagonised I am currently for not completing my homework. At least I know I wouldn't feel that way when it's my turn for BMT. I wouldn't have a chance to slack at all. None at all. Maybe I should go break my toe... Heh. Just kidding. I look forward to the challenge. Well, not a hundred percent for now, but I definitely hope so.

**********

Emotions Run Wild

Running through the wilderness
caressing the soft spoken
winds, a kind of
natural fondness
deep rooted within
Hands upon the head
gently swirling,
feeling the breeze
inward twirling.

I long for this crazy day.

Thinkquest Status
[OOOO.......................] 3.5%

Food of the Day
Economical Rice Set

Colour of the Day
Black. Slack.

Word of the Day
Brought to you by Merriam-Webster Inc.

stentorian \stehn-TOHR-ee-uhn\ (adjective)
: extremely loud

Example sentence: "'To the battlements, ye loitering villains!' he exclaimed, raising his stentorian voice till the arches around rung again. . . ." (Sir Walter Scott, _Ivanhoe_)

Did you know?
Nobody ever had to ask the Greek herald Stentor to speak up. His voice always came through loud and clear. In fact, in the _Iliad_, Homer described Stentor as a man whose voice was as loud as that of fifty men together. Stentor's powerful voice made him a natural choice for delivering announcements and proclamations to the assembled Greek army during the Trojan War, and it also made his name a byword for any person with a loud, strong voice. Both the noun "stentor" and the related adjective "stentorian" pay homage to the big-voiced warrior, and both have been making noise in English since the early 17th century.

0

Decided not to continue with retrospection today. Got a little bit burned up at my brains trying to think about the past and slamming a thousand words everyday unto my website. This is getting really tiring. Good that I decided to rest today. Phew. Don't worry, I'll continue with it. Not today though.

These few days had been total boredom. Had a rather fruitful session at the SV Exco meeting on Monday. After that, it was my Home, my Computer and I. Even my mom was getting a bit worried. I'd been munching on comp chips till the wee hours as long as the hols lasted. Thinkquest here, Thinkquest there, it seemed to get pretty out of hand. Sometimes when I wasn't even doing Thinkquest, I would use it as an excuse to prolong my Net life. I wonder how life's like if there's no Internet... Maybe I would be the top student in school? Humpf. Yeah... Maybe I'll get to enjoy more outdoor life... Oh well. Let's chant together: Thinkquest, Thinkquest... Ogashaga Boom...

Believe it or not, I was dragged to watch "The King and I" with my Mom and Sis on Tuesday. Not that I didn't want to watch, but I lacked the mood. My Sis threw a tantrum when I refused to go, cause that would mean no movie for everyone(see how great I am). She was saying if I could watch Star Wars with my cousin, I should watch the cartoon with her. As childishly as she could put it, it sounded reasonable. Oh well. There I was forced to end my Thinkquest work for the day abruptly. "Maaa... I have no more pants to go out..." What a futile attempt bound for failure.

I had no expectations for the show at all. Ms Anna sails to Siam and enlightens Mongkut. How many times must I go through this? Sigh... If I had any expectations at all, I would be terribly disappointed. Poorly illustrated characters, none of whom can be compared to those of Anastasia or any of Disney produced cartoon slicks. If the story wasn't based in Siam, I wonder how lack-lustre the scenes would turn out to be. All in all, it was plain boring. It wasn't worth watching at all. Luckily it only cost five bucks instead of the usual seven. I would rather catch NottingHill. Grow up, my little Sister, so we could watch better shows.

Sad to say, it's pretty boring doing Thinkquest everyday actually. However, the huge amount of incentives at the end of it is enough to drive me through. I'm waiting for that day.

Sorry if you find me writing in bits and pieces. I can hardly think no more. Oh yes, now that I've remembered, I created this little site through the wee hours the day before as a direct result of sticking my bum to the chair in front of the computer whole day long. It's called "Aspiring Writers Online". It's supposed to be a place for aspiring authors to submit their masterpieces... If you aspire to be a writer (like me) or you've written any wonderful work, please do submit it. You can visit it here. Humpf. Visit it when you're done with Narcolepsy.

SPOTCHECK: I'll like to know how many of you actually frequent Narcolepsy to know more about me. If you're whom I am talking about, please mail me and tell me you're visiting my site and will probably do so in the future. It'll be so fun to know who actually reads my journal. Heh. Of course, Kaijie, you won't need to mail me, cause I know you'll be reading my stuff. Heh.

Thinkquest Status
[OOO...........................................] 2.5%

Food of the Day
Instant Noodles

Colour of the Day
Black remains still. I wonder why.

Phrase of the Day
"Everytime you cry..."

0

Having thought of it, I've been having resolutions since Secondary Three. Didn't have enough faith I guess. Most of them weren't realised. It's pretty much my fault, or so I guess.

Why do people bore resolutions? They're too bored they have nothing else better to do cept think about the future, or they've committed such sinful crimes they just have to promise themselves not to do them again.

Is being overweight a sinful crime? In this health-conscious world, I'm afriad so. Hah, I've committed a crime. Ow. That hurts. What can I do? Okay, I'll do one hundred crunches everyday, fifty pull ups every now and then, and run like a mad dog at the track every week. Unrealistic it may seem, I guess it'll be possible to complete a quarter of what is above. Humpf. So I've just given myself a resolution for my sinful crime. I'm gonna keep track of this.

I'm just too bored.

What about me being bad in English? THAT is a BIG sinful act I've committed. Cause I never wanted to be bad in English. Cause I ever wanted to be a writer, like local writer Colin Cheong. Liked his books. Got my inspiration from him. Thought I would be able to brush up, somewhere, somehow, and be good enough to publish a book. But I failed, terribly. Never got the chance to manage a firm grasp on the language, ever since primary school. Was void of my top boy status cause I got only an A for English instead of an A*. Thought I would do something about it in Secondary School. I was wrong again. Came out with a B3 in the English Language. Am I wrong in pushing the blame to the teachers for not paying more attention to my English? I guess so. I am to blame. Didn't bother to read more books myself, didn't bother to learn new words like what my friends do. I always have this feeling that my standard of English has been laying stagnant since I left Primary School. Should I do something about it? Guess 'tis the time to do so.

I'll learn one new word everyday, and use it in my journal entries. I'll highlight it and make sure I'll remember it. Sounds pretty much like Primary School days, doesn't it?

I'm just too bored. Nah... just kidding. I'll do it. You'll see.

Thinkquest Status
[O.............................................] 0.5%

Food of the Day
The BBQ (Tomorrow's entry)

Colour of the Day
Green. A part of the layout for my Thinkquest Project is green. And I like it.

Phrase of the Day
"Cause I don't care how's it gonna be..."

0

I knew it would come, it's a matter of time. They never got along well, and they both admitted how they regretted the very day they tied the knot. One's so emotionally unstable, overly suspicious and insensitive, while the other so fierce, so... oh well. Okay, so that's it. BOOM. One big blow to me. I really don't know. They left me feeling so disgusted, so terrible, especially the female lead. It's not a matter of personal dilemma. If I'm given a choice to choose, I'll choose both or neither. I'm at a lost of words. Man shed no tears. Does he? Hah... here's a catch... I didn't shed any. I shall wait for that day.

I'll keep this entry short.

--------------[ Intermission ]--------------

Hah. All things come to a good end, don't they? Maybe it was my persuasive powers that did the trick. The time is now 8:22pm. We had dinner together. It seems they've patched things up. The keyword here is "seems". I marvelled at myself. Maybe I can take up the challenge to be a councillor. In my next life maybe. Well, maybe I don't need to shed any tear or blood afterall. =) Pardon my soul for my terok English.

Love Ain't Here Anymore
(Dedicated to the both of them)
Baby, don't you want me to go
So honey why don't you beg me to stay for love
And talk the way we used to talk
'Til we both know what we've lost
Never say the words we did before
When it was over

Love ain't here anymore
Love ain't here anymore
It's gone away to a town called yesterday
Love ain't here anymore

Listen, oh listen, I don't wanna let go
So maybe we can change the way we feel for love
And open up the way we did before
Now is the right time, and I'm sure
You'd never said the words you did before
'Til it was over

Love ain't here anymore
Love ain't here anymore
It's gone away to a town called yesterday
Love don't live here anymore

And when I find a place for me to keep my sweet love
Then I will leave it there forevermore
And when I find someone to share, I'll never give up
I will hold that belief that this love leads to more

Love ain't here anymore
Love ain't here anymore
It's gone away to a town called yesterday
Love ain't here anymore

Food of the Day
Long John Silvers Fish and Chiken Combo Max it with extra CRUMBS again =)

Colour of the Day
Black

Phrase of the Day
"Humpf"