0

I've been putting off writing this entry for some time... I can't exactly pinpoint the reasons to this inertia... but yeah, I'm back. :)

I've been waiting... waiting for a turning point somewhere down the road the past months, a defining moment of sort - it hasn't really been the best of seasons; I lived through a terribly undisciplined season, not just spiritually, but really in all aspects. There were days in the boarding school apartment where I gave up ample amount of sleep because I was onto some work which I wanted to complete... and as a result I was unable to function fully the next day.

Yesterday was one such day. I ended up not being able to concentrate during the counselling seminar that May (my school's full time counsellor) signed up for me and another colleague as part of the counselling team... kept dozing off. :|

The person most affected would had been Char; met up with her to spend the evening with her... and she had to bear that dead-pan look of mine... well. Thankful it ended off well though. :) She threw me a surprise that I didn't manage to catch beforehand! Haha... we caught "Catching Adam Cheng" at the Action Theatre. I caught a little news on this local play over Channel Newsasia some weeks ago while commuting on the bus... never thought I'd actually catch it! Didn't communicate the thought of wanting to watch it to Char or whatsoever... so it's pretty amazing how we ended up catching it! Haha... yeah, catching dramas... that'll be one of our nice pastimes. :)

Returned home and crashed immediately after showering. It's Aunty Witwit's day off today... so it's my turn to look after mom. Am actually typing this in her room right now with her looking at me... heh. I showed her High School Musical 1 & 2 on the laptop in the morning! Haha... I was on the other computer looking through my past entries (those in 1999) and categorizing them... it was quite a surreal feeling. It was really reading through the entries of a person of the past... was quite appalled by my own worldview back then! And all the pompous and superfluous vocabularies... hahaha. I think most of my boys write so much better than I did back then!

Reading them brought back memories... mostly good ones (thankful!). I relived some school scenes back in those days of 99S31... brought some smiles to my face. :)

One thing that's outstanding from my writings back then though... is that I found myself to be really self-absorbed. Talk about empathy... I myself didn't have much back then as well, and here I am fretting over the boys not being empathetic to the people and situations around them... is it really a phase of life that all teenagers go through? Mmmm I guess in the end it's circumstantial bah. They should all grow up alright. Haha... :)

Everytime I look back... I'm just thankful that He's the God of the second chances.

As with this entirely new design without a tinge of the previous beige one and its similar-colored predecessor that lasted the past five years or so... here's a new chapter in the life of someone who knew he could never make it in this life without his Maker watching over him.

:)

0

Yep... I know. It's been some time since I've left an entry... or written a song... or recorded a song for that matter. Well... here's an entry! :)

I've been busy with quite a number of things after I came back from the trip to San Fran... preparing for a year-end closure for the centre that I'm coordinating in my workplace, preparing for the new competition for ThinkQuest... speaking of which, here's the website that I've done up that houses more information on ThinkQuest in the school's context - do hop by and take a look if you're free!

I've also been pretty caught up preparing a year-end video for the boys... took quite some time to make, especially when it's been some time since I've touched video creation software's... and yeah. It's finally out, and it should be screened to them some time now (at this point of writing... I'm out on course!)

The course that I'm attending is on coping with grief and loss... it's a topic that is pretty much close to my heart. It's ironic that as I'm listening to the tutor... that I can even relate this topic to my work.

There were certain incidents that happened along the course of the year that caused grief to my heart... some with colleagues, some with my boys. Along the way I realized it's due to the expectations that I hold of them, for my colleagues, it would be the way they communicated, the genuineness, the cordiality... and for my boys, it would be the grief that comes from misplaced trust... and also certain values that they carry that they really could consider doing without.

I guess the misconception that I have personally is that I could afford to place the whole lot of them in my inner circle when most of them would probably end up as within the masses in the end, not connecting, not getting really acquainted. Haha yeah... it's unhealthy to take everything upon self I realized!

I thank God for Char... who has been a great support, for being ever so patient with me and ever so loving. She's the tangible representation of love that God has blessed me with... and everytime I think about it I just find myself so undeserving... she helps me in normalizing my emotions... something that I'm not even sure she realizes. Haha... Passing my thoughts through her, I was able to get a better reflection of the big picture... and then hey, from the half-cup empty, I begin to see the half-cup full.

I'm thankful that there are colleagues who inspire me, whose way of teaching and leading the boys and caring for them nudges me on to do likewise. Also very thankful that through time there are individual students whom I've come to know much better, whom I share special bonds with. Like this boy who comes by and sits around.. then tell you I'm going already bye bye... Hahahahaha.

Two of my boarding boys were talking about leadership with me as they helped me unpack my newly purchased vacuum machine for the apartment the night before... haha oh we were all amazed at how powerful it is - now my white rug's WHITE again! Haha... yeah. One of them was saying that servant leadership's taking too long to take effect. It's interesting that this conversation came about as I personally have been thinking about it the past weeks... and how hard it really can be.

(anyways I'm now stuck at the Teachers' Network waiting for the rain to stop... sitting by one of the stairs to type this. PRETTY COOL. Literally too.)

I guess without much refute most would agree that Jesus Christ would be the epitome of servant leadership. It's something that I've been trying to grapple with all the time, how Jesus, Son of God, the Authority of all authorities, King of all kings, Lord of all lords, would be able to walk the earth and call His creations His friends. It has been said so many times that if you're gonna be a leader, you can't be a friend to the person you're leading. I don't know... as I look upon the last year, I guess some of them would recognize me as a friend, as someone whom they can open themselves to. But I'm not sure if anyone of them would perceive me as their leader. I'm not sure if I would be given the respect enough for them to follow.. and for one, I don't dare to ask.

As I read through the Scriptures, Jesus pretty much knew the way to go; he exudes love and yet was stern and resolute when the circumstance called for it.

I confess that I often internalize my sadness and anger and avoided scolding or outrightly confronting issues with people - then I realized that this doesn't really help the other party most of the time. I told one of my boarding boys when we met for one to one... that I don't wish to be a nice teacher and end up being an ineffective one. Some of the ways I do things have to go... and it will be an ongoing process of growth I guess. So yeah... perhaps my approaches may evolve with time... but it'll always be backed by the same foundation.

Lest I forget that we're called to become more like Christ each day, to give as He's given, love as He's loved, bless as He's blessed. :)

There are lots of people I have to apologize to I realized; family members whom I've been perceived as neglected, colleagues whose feet I'd unintentionally stepped upon due to miscommunication... sometimes I really hope things aren't as complex as they are... well. Haha yeah. It's cathartic to write... I ought to resume writing more... yeah, I guess I will. :)

A whole batch of my boys will be leaving for Beijing next week... time really flies. Soon they will be donning the beige uniform and long pants... and as a couple of them texted me to thank me for the video, I thanked them back... for the privilege to be able to journey along this portion of their lives with them. For without every single one of them, the video wouldn't be what it is... yup. Am just hoping that when they do return to school in their long pants, they would also appear more grown up in their actions and attitudes... it's amusing to think that our human brain will only be fully formed at the age of 25 or so - some adults may brush this off as bull, but I guess I can afford to give the benefit of doubt, to know that some of their actions (sometimes can be quite foolish) are a result of an incomplete brain. Wahahah yay I'm 26 this year!!! Hahahahha...

Okay just nice. Rain has stopped. Time to go!

0

Marked by experiences... not physical age.

And so I'm thankful that I've been put through various experiences - humbling ones, painful ones, happy ones, sad ones... that I may grow.

There was this instance the past week when the question was asked of a supernatural power that one would like to have imbued in oneself. It was with some thought that I noted that I would like to have the power to heal.

Not because I have a messianic complex.

Perhaps one could probably be able to better empathize if one should know that I have a bedridden mom who had a brain hemorrhage, a younger sister who's currently facing the dilemma of taking up a new clinical trial due to her losing response to the current medications for her chronic leukemia, and a dad who's suffering from diabetes mellitus... who's currently on heart medication for a suspected heart attack.

Yeah...

But nothing compares still to the power of inner healing, the healing of the heart.. to see hearts and relationships restored.

And I realised that given my own capacity, there's just so much I can do, and so many I can reach out to... for I'm a simple person and I frown when I meet complex people or those who put on facades or are bent to make things complicated.

His grace is enough... His grace is enough. :)

4

"Goodness without knowledge is weak and feeble, yet knowledge without goodness is dangerous, and that both united form the noblest character." - Samuel & John Phillips

"To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society." - Theodore Roosevelt

Oops. I realised it's been 8 days (*mind thinks of the radio jingle for a local magazine - "8 days every week...."*) since I've written anything here. Originally wanted to do up a collage of the photos taken before writing a post but I reckoned that it might take forever again. Haha... so yeah. I think I better write a post first. Then go for a jog. Yeah... I'm still at my boarding apartment on a Saturday afternoon... but it's intentional. It's the first time I realised I needed time alone, for myself. Call it a recharge bah.

It's interesting how many people around me started commenting about me ballooning... in a sense I'm thankful, that colleagues and students alike are frank enough to help keep me in check in a way. I'm not quite sure why, but I guess the new boarding school lifestyle (with all the less travelling and walking up the slopes, etc) might have caused me to neglect my weight watching. My shirts are starting to look oversized... and yeah, this is definitely not in line for the photoshoot lined up in December and the actual day in May next year. Haha... and so I've started my regime once more. With so many pairs of eyes keeping me accountable, I do hope that I'll be able to shed a couple of kilos along the way. Just hoping that I won't fall to sweet temptations... sigh. Haha.

I attended a two day character education course by Prof. Thomas Likona together with some like-minded colleagues. Introverted as I am, I think when it comes to work and a common vision, I do get energised when I identify colleagues around me who're on the same page with the same goals... and who believe in working as a team. And I'm thankful that God blesses me with such people around to think aloud with and to work with. It had been a fruitful course... and if anything, I think I'm beginning to find my niche in character education.

I'm always thankful when I come across individual students who have both performance character and moral character - they do their best and are respectful to others, their demeanor naturally pleasing. Some may not be faring as well academically, but the good attitudes they exude gives others the wanting to help them along even more... yeah, even as I'm writing this I can see faces flash across my mind... which is, good! Haha... then there are those who are academically strong but yet lacking in moral character... and it does puts others off sometimes. The insidious thing I realised... is that sometimes they themselves aren't even aware of their lacking, and that the way they do things and behave are self perceived as normal. My heart sours for these boys... as much as I can see the vast potential in them, sometimes I just don't know what can be done or said that would actually help.

It's true that as much as it took them ten over years to build up self formed (most probably) values and habits that mostly went unchecked and misconstrued (probably cases of over pampering or over disciplining), it may take that equal amount of time for them to rework their values and unlearn bad habits.

My heart sours... because I believe they're good boys at the end of the day, not the stereotypical guai kias (well behaved boys but with bad connotation), but those who can discern the right from the wrong, who can show proper respect, etc.

Well... I'm learning. The course is a good start I reckon. Ultimately, I pray that it'll be Pa who works miracles in lives. Which reminds me.. of a piece of good news I received a couple of days ago. I was meeting up with this boy and chatting with him when he said he had to leave soon for cell group. I took a double take and asked him - "cell group?". Then he confirmed that I wasn't hearing the wrong thing. It's a joy indeed... and yes, Pa answers prayers. :)

I believe in specific and professional skills in the area of affective and character education... but on top of that, I believe that He's gonna be the one who causes hearts to change for the better. He is love after all. Mmm. :)

Another highlight of the week would be the Projects' Day grand finals and awards ceremony. Chen lao shi (my sec 4 chinese teacher) was invited to be one of the judges... so it was a good opportunity to catch up a little with her and have a photo taken (yayyyy hahaha) with her. It's still quite amusing to know that she's taught Char as well in a different place and context. Haha...

Three of the teams that I'd coached went on stage for their high distinction wins... proud of each of the three in different ways - all three showed perseverance and the willingness to listen to critique and suggestions... but what's most important was their drive to finish their project... and to finish it well. Heartened to know that a number of them are waiting to start on next year's ThinkQuest project... at this juncture, I am beginning to see a glimmer of hope for the ThinkQuest baton to be finally passed on. *smiles*

I felt really proud (though I had no involvement at all hahahaha...) when the time came for the secondary three cohort to go up on stage to collect their trophies - I guess I'm the only one who would feel that way... hahaha. :)

We had a mini mid autumn festival celebration in our boarding programme yesterday evening where we had mooncakes, chips, tea... and a dose of my guitar playing and singing. Taught them to sing the song that you're currently hearing here (Thank You, My Friend) - I really don't know if it's too premature to teach them... but I'm hoping that this song would mean something to them, especially at the end of next year. Ya... THEY SANG! :)

Then we had the Myer-Briggs Temperament Indicator (MBTI) course in the morning where I ascertained my type as INFJ again, this time round officially. Yep... all that's happened till now. Char came by with her bestie Euns just now for lunch... we'll be meeting again to spend the evening together. It's been hard still, trying to get used to the new schedules, where gone were the days when we could walk slowly down the canal, when I could walk her home and then walk home myself... well. Haha... aye aye.

Alright. Shall be off to have a jog for now. Collages should be up at a later date... in the meantime, the photos have all been uploaded - click on "Photos & Videos" on the top menu bar to view.

I wonder still... if people actually read these entries in their entirety??? If you have read to this point (HAHAHAHAHA..... gosh this sounds so familiar), leave a comment or a tag?

0

There was once a great and noble King whose land was terrorized by a crafty dragon. Like a massive bird of prey, the scaly beast delighted in ravaging villages with his fiery breath. Hapless victims ran from their burning homes, only to be snatched into the dragon's jaws or talons. Those devoured instantly were deemed more fortunate than those carried back to the dragon's lair to be devoured at his leisure.

The King led his sons and knights in many valiant battles against the dragon.

Riding alone in the forest, one of the King's sons heard his name purred low and soft. In the shadows of the ferns and trees, curled among the boulders, lay the dragon. The creature's heavy-lidded eyes fastened on the prince, and the reptilian mouth stretched into a friendly smile.

"Don't be alarmed," said the dragon, as gray wisps of smoke rose lazily from his nostrils. "I am not what your father thinks."

"What are you, then?" asked the prince, warily drawing his sword as he pulled in the reins to keep his fearful horse from bolting.

"I am pleasure," said the dragon. "Ride on my back and you will experience more than you ever imagined. Come now. I have no harmful intentions. I seek a friend, someone to share flights with me. Have you never dreamed of flying? Ever longed to soar in the clouds?"

Visions of soaring high above the forested hills drew the prince hesitantly from his horse. The dragon unfurled one great webbed wing to serve as a ramp to his ridged back. Between the spiny projections, the prince found a secure seat. Then the creature snapped his powerful wings twice and launched them into the sky.

The prince's apprehension melted into awe and exhilaration.

From then on, he met the dragon often, but secretly, for how could he tell his father, brothers or the knights that he had befriended the enemy? The prince felt separate from them all.

Their concerns were no longer his concerns. Even when he wasn't with the dragon, he spent less time with those he loved and more time alone.

The skin on the prince's legs became calloused from gripping the ridged back of the dragon, and his hands grew rough and hardened. He began wearing gloves to hide the malady. After many nights of riding, he discovered scales growing on the backs of his hands as well. With dread he realized his fate were he to continue, and so he resolved to return no more to the dragon.

But, after a fortnight, he again sought out the dragon, having been tormented with desire. And so it transpired many times over. No matter what his determination, the prince eventually found himself pulled back, as if by the cords of an invisible web.

Silently, patiently, the dragon always waited.

0

Humpf. Maybe I'll need another ten years of slogging to be as experienced as some of those at the competition yesterday evening? Hehehe. Well, frankly I'm really happy that my song managed to sqeeze into the top 45 out of the 475 entries submitted. Yesterday was a tremendous experience listening to so many good songs and marvelously well done minus one music. Good stuff cannot bluff! This has somehow given me an interest in write more chinese songs... In search for the calling. Heheh.

0

If you're wondering: Goodness gracious me... Where is the site that is all beige yellow in colour, full of words and photos and all that? Well, I've just been informed by Watson that the server where the site is hosted on crashed around yesterday afternoon. Hardwares are just so temperamental. Boy.

Worst of all, all of my stuff on that server were previously updated online... which means, there is no trace of any of the files on my own hard drive... Which means that whatever that's on the server, it's the master copy... and the only copy that exists in this world. Gosh. Hopefully the files are still in tact... that they'll be able to be recovered soon.

Lacking the motivation to create a new design for now. Perhaps I'll wait for the files to be recovered... perhaps I'll wait long enough to create a new design. Got quite a number of things to settle... including the scanning of my certificates, the fine tuning of my semi finals minus one song and of course the practising of the song before the actual day itself... which is... 8 days away! Gee.

Couple that with the work I'm doing in camp (compiling the commemorative video cds of the Military Medicine Conference), I really doubt that I'll have the time (and drive) to put up a new design anytime soon. I will, though, continue to throw in my thoughts daily and update you guys with any news regarding the old site (which is pretty new actually...).

Adios my files. Hope to be reunited with you guys soon.

0

I was still digesting Physics at 2am today. Circular Motion and Gravitation to be precise [small random error, may not be close to true value (conversely true for accurate)]. v=rw, Centripetal Force = mv2/r = mw2r. Duh. To think I would need my linguistic ability to explain all these stuff for General Paper. Hah.

I should pay some attention to General Paper. After all, I would need a good GP grade for promotion. I wonder how I would have felt when I read this entry ten years down the road. General Paper? Hiak. I actually perused the guides to argumentative essays and comprehension on my way to school.

The questions weren't that hard, really, though I don't think I can score high. I attempted a very fresh approach at answering the questions. Completed the essay plan in ten minutes and chucked the essay to work on the comprehension paper. Left the summary section blank and went back to write the essay. After which I returned to complete the summary. Fresh yah? My mind jumped from one location to another and back and forth. Unhealthy. I don't think I'll use this tactic in the future. Do you call it a tactic?

No. You're not the only one feeling it. I've been keeping track of my deterioration of my linguistic ability. What's happening? Some aliens must have barged into my mind and scraped clean of my paraphernalia. You'll just have to bear with it until I go take up books and actually go read them again.

Slimcea's and Pizzaz's birthdays passed by quietly amidst the study period. To think that I actually forgot all about the dates. Well, since it's already late, let it be later. I shall buy them belated presents after the promos. Sigh. Studying makes you forget everything... But before I forget... Happy Birthday, Dom. I'm sure you did very well for General Paper today. Make that your present. Hee.

Oh well... I'm crossing my fingers for the Dutch ThinkQuest finals today... Hopefully, my entry will clinch one of the top prizes... As I've said... I'm keeping my fingers crossed... I still think the first prize belongs to Kaijie even though I can't help but hope for the best. I guess I need the prize money more than anyone else? =)

**********

Intermission. Resume transmission at 11pm.

**********

Well... it's 12:45am the next day already... Nothing much to say actually. A sense of loss. Numbness. ES2000 and Colour My World were ranked forth together. The fact that both sites didn't make it into the top three intrigued me. I hate to say this, but I guess the judges practiced favouritism. We shall sue them for malpractice! Just take a look at the top three sites and you will understand what I mean. Galvin, ten years down the road when you read this entry, I want you to understand that it's not a matter of losing out, but a matter of losing out to whom. Unworthy opponents? Undeniably, I feel damn disgusted for the time being. Time will heal everything, I strongly believe. Besides, I still have my promos to worry over. No use getting so worked up over such a frivolous matter. I shall let it rest as time covers it with new layers of dust.

**********

Revision Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..............] 55.0%

Overweight Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO] 99.9%

Imagine stuffing three Zinger meals, one Big Mac meal and one McChicken meal in a week. Well, I didn't need to imagine. Too much studying will make Galvin a fatter boy. HAH.

3

"Be Bowled Over By The Love Of Christ!" - AMKYF

Many a time, I questioned my free thinker status. Why wasn't I a buddhist or a christian by birth? The only reason I can think of is that I'm given the divine choice to choose. I guess I'll stay put for the time being.

Embracing a religion has its advantages. You gain friends from different facets of the community. Take Jane for example, besides us, college friends[commonly termed school friends], she has a wider scope of church friends whom she has close relationships with (I assume). All these weekly gatherings and outings once a while makes you feel you're not alone in the world. Guess that's what they're driving at. I had a fun day bowling with the usual bunch[WELL... not really] - Kelv, Slim, Val, Mountain Goat and of course Jane, though she didn't play much. She would make a very nice hostess for any function.

Before the bowling session started, a song session was held in which we sang an untitled song (The Joy That I Had??) which I assumed was an original composition. The message it basically wanted to get through was that everything comes from self within, that the world owes you nothing and the world can't take anything away from you. Meaningful indeed, though the song lasted only a couple minutes with countless loops.

For the newcomers [henceforth, those who aren't in the Youth Fellowship], we were given a survey form to fill up and a self-made momento, a wooden photo frame. For mine, the illustration showed a shoal of fishes swimming. That seem really normal to me till Jane pointed out the meaning. It was, in a way, inspirational, that the fishes swam to the left while the norm usually swam to the right, signifying the daringness to change. That really made me look at the illustration in a totally different way.

The bowling portion was insignificant[apart from me topping the rest of the bunch in the first game... only]. Jane had to leave at six. We continued till six thirty and sneaked off before the prize giving ceremony. It was really evil of us to leave just like that, especially so as an announcement was made to ask people not to leave just when we were stepping out of the bowling centre. *SO EVIL*.

We boarded the mass rapid transit. Destination - Orchard, to eventually gobble down a Burger King's Mushroom Swiss Meal. Goatie had to leave a stop earlier in Newton, the reason being that he had another meeting back in the hostel. We circulated two speculations - that it was real and we wished he had a fun time with... hehehe and secondly, that he was just trying to evade the meal. Guess we'd sort of neglected him... I guess I'd done my best to talk to him... In fact, I guess I'm the one who talked to him the most!

Though it's just a small group outing, it's a really memorable one. Guess it'll go in as one of my most memorable days in 1999. Thanks Jane, Kelv, Slim, Val and Goatie. =)

**********

Revision Status
[.....................................] 0.0%

Overweight Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO] 100.0%

Do realise these two bars have been contantly remaining constant for three days. When will I start? Well, it depends.

0

The scenery reappear before me like a looping ancient film grained movie, everyday without fail. I'll come across the magnificent facade of Hwa Chong and Chinese High, those beige towering buildings shining its glories towards any vehicle passing along Bukit Timah Road. Behold the effulgence of the fiery sunset cast upon them, for Hwa Chong will shine till eternity.

There, at the bus stop nearest to King Albert Park, traffic started to slow down. I looked out ponderously and saw two persons seemingly engaged in a mundane conversation. Nothing much to see, or so I thought, as I shifted my focus to this haggard woman sitting by the tree, weeping. Two motorcycle helmets lay beside her. She was barefooted, legs stretched towards the road. One of her hands overlaid her face as she made obvious agitated movements, that of crying. My immediate reaction was to examine the road for crushed vestiges. No. I'm holding back the truth. As if I'd heard her mournful cries, I thought I would find a corpse lying cold somewhere on the tarred path. Nothing was picked up. On went the bus and the chapter closed abruptly, without me yearning to know what actually happened.

Miraculously, I wasn't late today. It's worth some approbation. Come on man! Hurray Hurray Hurrah Hee Hee (sinisterly)!

I was nearly denied of my recordings at the Physics practical due to one malfunctioning thermistor. It repeated gave me the same readings no matter how much heat was fed. 0.02 amperes, 0.02 amperes, 0.02 amperes... The worst thing was that something was actually dissolving in the water (the thermistor most probably) that the seemingly pure water turned into a chalky solution, that of carbon dioxide passing through limewater. Changed to another themistor which gave much more incredible results. The ammeter shot to the maximum albeit the absence of heat manipulation. Oh well. Slap me [misQuoted, Psyclone] please. Slap me three more times. I had to rummage through the pile and selectively pick one which I thought was alright. What a waste of time.

Gracious me, Mdm Yeo finally came up to me sprouting a sinister smile on her motherly face. "F-math must practice more har." Ouch, it really hurts. I'm a terminal guilt-stricken patient awaiting immediate attention. Where are all the doctors and nurses when I need them? Sob... [Status: Mentally unStable]

The yellow cab hovered through the orange expressway like a racer, immersing me in a Daytona-like atmosphere. The only difference was that it wasn't me driving (which was pretty obvious) but the caring uncle cabby who, upon hearing that we were in a hurry to reach Terminal One, sped through as though the expressway belonged to him. The speeding alarm kept going off (you know, the ding dong, ding dong), rendering me dizzy. But the sheer excitement of watching the cab take over other vehicles kept me awake. Occasionally turned and peeked at the speedometer. It registered an average of 120 kilometres per hour, which was way past the limit. COOL!

Oh well. Dad left for Japan. Kelv's in Japan. I'm in Singapore. Duh. I'll have to make sure I secure a plane trip to LA this November. Pray hard for me if you're my friend. Pray hard for me too if you aren't. =)

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOO...............] 60.0%

Food of the Day
Pork Ribs Rice

Colour of the Day
Whitish Black [A Paradox]

0

Sometimes you just have to realise when a person mouths something worth pondering about or sprouts nonsensical garbage. As for now, I belong to the later classification. The title for this entry is meant to be, ah, So as to let me digest some of the new words I learnt from my vocabulary list. Heh. Slow and steady is the way to achieve a whooping sense of euphoria eh. I'm beginning to feel the effects. *smile* *smile*. I do subscribe to meliorism though. The Best Is Yet To Be. HAH. Sounds familiar? =)

Sigh. Most of the student population will get to enjoy the intensity of the sun (which IS a good thing) at the National Stadium, cheering on the school track team in a bid to clinch the Boys Championship and a second or third placing for the Girls team. How I wish I can relive the days back in Chinese High. We would cheer none stop at the grandstand without fail every year. Opportunity knocks but (breathe in deeply) SIGH... I had to stay for the technical rehearsal for the National Day celebrations. Isn't it ironic, don't you think? Everyone is supposed to be at the Stadium and I yearn to be there, so that makes perfect. And this rehearsal has to come in. I wonder why the people in charge couldn't postpone it till a later date, like Thursday. Humpf. Obstinate mulls they shall be.

Well. There isn't the need for me to feel so bad. After all, I'll be enjoying myself at the stage crooning away. Heh. Just hope my sweat wouldn't drown my voice, the stage, the population, blah... Anyway, there'll be a group of us singing, so the pressure will be distributed equally among ourselves. Plus point spotted by Peilin - we'll be able to get back home much sooner than the rest at the Stadium! Cheers! Humpf. Guess I'll just check out the results on television when I get back home.

I have to admit I can't sing well.

**********

WRT The person who has fallen over the edge of the Universe and has since climbed back on:

Welcome home. Seems like you've made the U-turn just in time. Flowers are blooming for you everywhere. Be back soon. I'm yearning for your return.

**********

Kelvin flew today. Sayonara Kelv! Hope he remembers to buy Chage & Aska for me. Well, well, a well deserved fruition by who else the hard laborer. Just hope he wouldn't come back with a bulging belly (as if he doesn't have one now hehe). Shucks. Something's missing without you around.

**********

Here goes, the list of words:

Choon Ngee yearns to write a billet-doux
a clement judge
neoteric fiction
pooh-bah
the propinquity of an electronic dictionary
admire the effulgence of the sunset
fallacious reasoning
flummoxed by incomprehensible directions
Kelvin likes to gallivant about
Galvin induldges in perculations
a sense of probity
you're downright babblative
bibelots for keepsake
Subscription to meliorism
regale me with your stupid jokes
noisy tattoo on the cabin roof
such execrable conditions
lapidary aka cutter, polisher
do not hesitate nor prevaricate
on the qui vive for bargains
challenging terrain in the couloir
eolian deposits of the desert
Kelvin is a hirsute man
flageolets piped a sprightly tune
Mr Joe Lim is truly a martinet
ended a dinner with a doch-an-dorris
behemoth of a book (BIG)
obnubilation of the political scene
Ah. Too much to handle!

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOO...............] 50.0%
Did nothing today. Sigh.

Food of the Day
Long John Silvers Chicken Combo [Takeaway]

Colour of the Day
Black.

0

Walked past the gentle balmy breeze along the Bukit Timah Expressway. No palm trees though. There was just this sudden urge in me to walk. A long distance. Conquered Coronation Plaza. Next went on to Serene Centre, passing the newly furnished [vacant]shophouses trudging on to National Institute of Education. Unable to satisfy my urge, I plodded on and took a turn towards the direction of Orchard Road.

It was so refreshing. The unbeaten sun beat down upon the Hwa Chong uniform, epitomizing the essence of Mother Earth. Busses zoomed past, bringing along a punch of wind against my face. Yeah. Of course there was sweat involved in the process, but that was nothing in comparison to the satisfaction I got in return. Well... not much of a workout, an exercise or anything that remotely resembles the action, but much of a refreshed mind. Ahh. I shall do it more often from now on.

There was one point where I thought I could walk on forever. If only time allowed. The walk seemed never ending at first. I could walk all the way to Orchard Road, or just take on the Pan Island Expressway by foot all the way back home. Either way, I would have enjoyed myself thoroughly. But no. Time didn't permit me to do so. It would have taken me a couple hours to return home.

The feeling of watching vehicles zooming pass me along the expressway tingles my sensations. It sooths my overloaded veins and my punctured brain. Or rather, the feeling of being left alone in such a scenario appeals to me. I prefer solitary confinement. I might just walk all the way to Orchard Road next time.

**********

A point brought to focus today was the fact that I possess the special ability to exude a special kind of something from the open pores of my celestial covering. Rotten smell, the villagers called it. BO, the more civilised would term. Hu Chou Wei, the Chinese civilised would rattle off. The epidemic affected a gargantuan portion of the community in contact with me today, causing gazillions to flee. Those cornered in the bus had nowhere to hide but to endure the ardous journey. Hideous me feigned ignorance and slept all the way.

Sigh... You people should have gotten me cans upon cans of deodorant for my Birthday. By the way. I still insist that I didn't smell today. I'm afraid I don't possess the ability to control my rate of sweat flow. In fact, all the better if I sweat more often. I'm prepared to shed pounds upon pounds. Don't be surprised if you see me getting much in shape as time passes.

**********

That's about it for now. I realised I just broke my promise. I didn't revise for my Further Math test. What a sinful act committed by such an innocent young lad. Pardon him, won't you?

**********

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOOOOOO...............] 50.0%
At last. Half done. 29 Days to go.

Food of the Day
Fried Rice, vegetarian goose. What the heck.

Colour of the Day
Black.

0

YES. The series of General Paper presentations is finally over! Our team closed it with a big bang. You should have seen our jubilant faces when we received our presentation mark sheet! It may or may not be the highest among the rest of the class, but it certainly was above our expectation! We scored a hefty forty-three out of a possible fifty! Totalling up with the written report, our team scored seventy-five, just enough to savour the fringe of distinction! YAY! What a relief. Here's what Mrs Scowcroft commented on the whole presentation, "Fantastic and Fun. I enjoyed myself". An immediate entry into my book of memory. Blips and bloopers aside, our presentation was thoroughly a success.

The video didn't arouse much havoc laughter as expected, but nevermind. It induced chuckles and giggles at certain parts though, like Kelvin the clone being exterminated by a bomb (lump of newspaper) and Zacky the tortured one pacing sloppily away from the camera. The best thing was that Mrs Scowcroft laughed along. Heh.

Self evaluation: failed. Though the presentation was a success, I myself truthfully think that it was not due to my contributions. Acted like a piece of wood I guessed. Argh. Never had the talent anyway. Furthermore, my stage fright caused the team a few points. I read from the notes when it was my turn presenting. Luckily Jianqun asked me to memorise my part for the skit, which was quite a success as well (Blips here and there - Kelv forgot some parts and had to search his pocket for the script. Must have amused Mrs Scowcroft. Hehe.).

The Quiz session was one of the primary reasons for our results. We managed to forge a rapport with the floor and got everyone moving along. Guess the climax for the laughter breakout was when we bestowed the cai xin (lettuce) to Sing Eu as a prize for giving the correct answer. Everyone virtually laughed their heads off, including Mrs Scowcroft as well of course. The laughter generated filled the freezing computer lab with much warmth. This is definitely something worth remembering as part of my Junior College life.

Humpf. GP Presentation's over, but the Math test isn't. Hey... now that I realised... It's going to start in fourteen hours' time! My plan for the day is to sleep from right after I finish with this till the break of dawn (I'm not sure... but it should be twelve midnight) and then "perfume mug" like a xiao ding dong (literal meaning in English - lunatic) till the start of the test. I need to score!

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOO...................] 30.0%

Food of the Day
Sphegetti. Again!

Colour of the Day
Raindow Mix. Pretty much like licking a lollipop. Heh.

0

I was contemplating for quite some time if I should write an entry for today. Reason simple as it is - I was dead beat. The whole GP team went over to Jianqun's house right after school (which was, right after the arduous workout along the boundaries of Hwa Chong) to finish up the GP presentation and rehearse for tomorrow's showdown. Glancing sideways at the clock, I reckoned I should be in bed. Math test coming up on Saturday and I find no time for it. The GP Project really tied everybody down. By the way, I'm cheating by writing the July 8th entry on July 9th. Heh.

Four wholesome days to Qiao's birthday. I wonder how much a price I can afford. Nevertheless, I'll try to get something worth remembering. It's the thought that counts, everyone says that.

Yeah. The video didn't seem pretty much interesting after laughing through so many times. Every time the video is rerun, our confidence level dropped by a considerable percentage. Hope all goes well afterwards. We spiced up our presentation with a funny skit completely churned out within fifteen minutes. Kudos to Zacky! Ah. Who can forget that evil laugh and those artificial bomb sound effect followed by a short pause and then a subtle but definitely audible "AHH". Heh. The first time we played it on the tape recorder, we laughed to the limit. Had to ask Jianqun not to repeat so as to let me catch my precious breathe.

I'm disintegrating in all facets. My studies, my health, my moral, et cetera, et cetera. De facto, a need for me to buck up is by no means a necessity. Keeping my optimism alive, I believe I can fly. Duh.

It's really getting very late. The time is 1:52am and my eyelids can't stand it anymore (Well, in normal circumstances, I would sit on them. But anyways). Guess I'll stop now.

Thinkquest Status
[OOOOOOOO...................] 30.0%

Food of the Day
Muslim Set Rice

Colour of the Day
Black Black Black...

0

After the series of nightmares and a couple of days suffering from insomnia, I hereby make the following conclusions, that:

0

When it comes to face to face meetings with people whom I've never met before, my range of vocabulary suddenly shrinks down to only two words - "Hi" and "Bye". My timid nature is not to be condoned. Kill me.

I admire those people who are able to conclude a perfect introduction with a firm handshake, the eyes fixed upon the opposite pair. It will take a zillion years for me to cultivate the bravery to perform such an incredible feat.

There's this uncle on crutches who sort of resides at the elderly corner on the first level of my block from morning till dinner time. I see him everyday as I return from school. Couldn't pluck up my courage to greet him every time I see him as I've none to begin with. It seems to me that he has the idea that I despise him. Now he reveals a frown whenever our faces meet. I feel so guilty. The truth is, I never despised him. I just couldn't communicate. Sigh. Uncle, if you manage to read this(which is impossible), I'm sorry. Wish I could talk to you. Sorry I couldn't even manage a smile.

Sigh.

Public speaking, orating, acting, presenting and committee meetings. Dreadful words. My heart beats a million times faster if my name ever gets associated with any of them. And ouch, there will be the General Paper project presentation when school term starts in two weeks time. "I wonder how it's going to be... When you're(courage) not around...". I'll be standing in front of everyone in class, shivering from the inside, sweating on the outside, jittering in my mind, and stuttering all my way through. Ew. The thought really hurts!

The SV Exco Meeting at KFC Bukit Timah Shopping Centre went well. After a sumptuous chicken meal, we settled down and discussed the future of SV. Talked for hours while Mingli scribbled and came up with a couple pages of colourful notes. So... my job is to take charge of whatever competitions members are taking part and whatever competitions SV is holding. Glad I still get to organise HiTech'99. I don't think I should make anymore Birthday wishes from now on. =)

You Learn
by Alanis Morissette

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
wait until the dust settles

Chorus
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

Repeat Chorus

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

Repeat Chorus

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

Thinkquest Status
[OOO...........................................] 2.5%
Did the title images for various sections and finished the Award Nomination script. Meeting held successfully the day before. Happy! =)

Words of the Day Let's see... will try to use them...
Gargantuan - {Adj} of tremendous size or volume
Ambulatory - {Adj} travelling from place to place
Vagabond - {Noun} person who wanders at will
Vagabond - {Adj} travelling from place to place
Reverie/Revery - {Noun} daydream, trance, muse, study
Impending - {Adj} about to happpen
Profligate - {Noun} worthless self-indulgent, reprehensible person, spendthrift
Profligate - {Adj} free from moral restraint, dissolute, licentious,unprincipled

Food of the Day
KFC Meal

Colour of the Day
Black remains still

Phrase of the Day
"I wonder how it's gonna be..."

0

Is maintaining your face an important facet in your life? Have you ever lost your face before? When the situation gets tight, do you still care about your face? What if a pimple develops on your face? Duh...

The point is, your face really isn't going to be the most important thing in your life. When time needs be, you can be prepared to lose you face (and be disfigured, figuratively). Somehow, there are still people in this world who are so afraid of losing their face. Thank god I'm not one of them.

People do all sorts of things in order to keep their face in tact, even those with their face already full of zits. The force so strong poor souls become rich kings and ignorant freaks transform into wisely scholars. Only the individual knows who he or she really is.

Does having a small television set sitting in your living room instead of a real big one got to do with your economic status? Why the fuss of not letting people visit your home just because your wide-screen television broke down and you have yet to replace it with a similar model? Is there anything wrong with a thirteen inch monitor sitting in front of you? Do you really need a twenty one inch monster?

You wash and maintain your face with water you can afford. You don't need fine wine for such a mundane task. When you find no fresh water from the tap, you use rainwater. It's that simple. Why bother to look for fresh water when it's raining right in front of you?

One must know how far one can stretch. If you know you don't have the ability to do something or own something, admit it. That way, you will, or should, feel less burdened.

Sorry Jiaxiang, couldn't go for the Nepal trip... though I know it's for a good cause. Just couldn't afford the cost of the trip.

There goes. I feel much lighter. Enlightenment.

Thinkquest Status
[OO............................................] 1.8%

Faces
by 2 Unlimited
(Would like to hear this song)

Look around you
What do those faces tell you?
Faces, joy and pain
Faces, faces everywhere

Faces
All around different faces I see
Some are happy, some in misery
They express joy and pain
Now two faces are the same

People, people all over town
Some of them are poor and others wear a crown
I've seen a lot of many faces
Joy and pain in different places
Open your mind, set yourself free
Figure it out, what could it be?
Sympatise, understand
Give love and peace to the other fellow man

Faces
Faces, joy and pain
Look around you
Do you see the faces?
What do those faces tell you?

Everywhere I go, different faces I see

Faces
All around different faces I see
Some are happy, some in misery
They express joy and pain
Now two faces are the same

Playing with your life, playing with your soul
You all scream out "I'm the one in control"
Killing of the colours, silly stupid games
You know who you are without no names
Don't mess the world 'cause that the sequal
Open your mind cause we talking about the people
In the world, all kind of places
Different races, different faces

Different faces
Everywhere

Faces
All around different faces I see
Some are happy, some in misery
They express joy and pain
Now two faces are the same

Food of the Day
Fried bee hoon with scrambled egg and ngoh hiang.

Colour of the Day
Khaki

Phrase of the Day
"Duh... Der..."

0

Loosened up myself. Somehow I think it's no use thinking about the past. So here's the cheerful me once again. Heh. At least I don't need to collect ten dollars from everyone. =)

You want the truth? The truth you shall get. When I was told of my "was to be" post, I accepted it with much joy. To put it childishly, one of my birthday wishes came true. Well, maybe I wished for too many things, or my faith ain't strong enough. Things took a twist at the very last minute. It would be damn terrible if I were still a small child. Well, maybe a small child wouldn't wish for so many things. I'm too naive.

Nobody's to blame. I blame myself. Maybe I ain't good enough. I knew something must be wrong the moment Yusi cornered me in the kitchen (the kitchen was way too small anyway) prior to the BBQ. I kept telling myself she was going to update me on the plan of pushing Jiaxiang down the pool later on. For as long as she was on the phone, I kept believing in myself. The moment she told me the news, for that very moment, I felt my soul float away. Felt so cold then. But somehow I managed to grab it back in time. Actually, it didn't affect me much. I was sort of prepared for this kind of things to happen. Afterall, it'd happened so many times to me, why can't it happen again? So here I present myself, the Vice President of Sensorium Vale. Yes. I will still put my heart and soul into SV. Everything must go on. I'm sure my plans to elevate SV to greater heights will still be worked on, espeicially HiTech'99. Fortunately you may say, this is not one of my Birthday wishes, for I foresee failure should it be one of them.

I'll just like everyone who's concerned about me know, yes, this is certainly a blow to me, but I've gotten over with it. I'm still the cheerful Galvin you all know. =)

Kelv, thanks for you Birthday wishes. As you can see, half of them went down the drain already. I hope you can stay true to your wishes for me, else I don't think I can pull through the second part. And, I'll return you the twenty dollars soon. Perhaps you can lend me another ten? Heh.

Yusi, guess you can get some correction fluid and amend the book. Nah, just kidding. Come to think of it, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad if I didn't know my "was to be" post prior to official release. Maybe I should blame KW hor? Nah... just kidding again.

Thinkquest's my only hope left this year.

Food for thought, my parents say I'm born to be used by people. Hey you people, stop bullying me!!! =)

I'm not innocent.

Thinkquest Status
[OO............................................] 1.8%
Finished the Guestbook today.

How's it Going to Be
by Third Eye Blind
(Starting to like 3EB again, dunno why. The CD's been eating quite some dust.)

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss

I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be

And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

Food of the Day
Mom's Fried Rice. Simply the Best.

Colour of the Day
White

Phrase of the Day
"Wait..."

0

Having thought of it, I've been having resolutions since Secondary Three. Didn't have enough faith I guess. Most of them weren't realised. It's pretty much my fault, or so I guess.

Why do people bore resolutions? They're too bored they have nothing else better to do cept think about the future, or they've committed such sinful crimes they just have to promise themselves not to do them again.

Is being overweight a sinful crime? In this health-conscious world, I'm afriad so. Hah, I've committed a crime. Ow. That hurts. What can I do? Okay, I'll do one hundred crunches everyday, fifty pull ups every now and then, and run like a mad dog at the track every week. Unrealistic it may seem, I guess it'll be possible to complete a quarter of what is above. Humpf. So I've just given myself a resolution for my sinful crime. I'm gonna keep track of this.

I'm just too bored.

What about me being bad in English? THAT is a BIG sinful act I've committed. Cause I never wanted to be bad in English. Cause I ever wanted to be a writer, like local writer Colin Cheong. Liked his books. Got my inspiration from him. Thought I would be able to brush up, somewhere, somehow, and be good enough to publish a book. But I failed, terribly. Never got the chance to manage a firm grasp on the language, ever since primary school. Was void of my top boy status cause I got only an A for English instead of an A*. Thought I would do something about it in Secondary School. I was wrong again. Came out with a B3 in the English Language. Am I wrong in pushing the blame to the teachers for not paying more attention to my English? I guess so. I am to blame. Didn't bother to read more books myself, didn't bother to learn new words like what my friends do. I always have this feeling that my standard of English has been laying stagnant since I left Primary School. Should I do something about it? Guess 'tis the time to do so.

I'll learn one new word everyday, and use it in my journal entries. I'll highlight it and make sure I'll remember it. Sounds pretty much like Primary School days, doesn't it?

I'm just too bored. Nah... just kidding. I'll do it. You'll see.

Thinkquest Status
[O.............................................] 0.5%

Food of the Day
The BBQ (Tomorrow's entry)

Colour of the Day
Green. A part of the layout for my Thinkquest Project is green. And I like it.

Phrase of the Day
"Cause I don't care how's it gonna be..."